Confusion a barrier to marriage?

  • Thread starter Thread starter VeritasLuxMea
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
V

VeritasLuxMea

Guest
I was married a couple years ago now. I think I remember the FOCCUS questionnaire had a question something along the lines of, “Do you accept all of the doctrines of the Holy Catholic Church?” or something like that.

I remember at the time I couldn’t decide if I wanted to check “unsure” or “yes”, I felt like I was about halfway in between those two. So I just checked “yes” because I figured, all things being equal, go with the path of least resistance.

But now that I got to thinking about it, I was wondering… what would have happened if I checked “unsure” or even “no”, would that have prevented me from marrying in the Church?

Thanks.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I was married a couple years ago now. I think I remember the FOCCUS questionnaire had a question something along the lines of, “Do you accept all of the doctrines of the Holy Catholic Church?” or something like that.

I remember at the time I couldn’t decide if I wanted to check “unsure” or “yes”, I felt like I was about halfway in between those two. So I just checked “yes” because I figured, all things being equal, go with the path of least resistance.

But now that I got to thinking about it, I was wondering… what would have happened if I checked “unsure” or even “no”, would that have prevented me from marrying in the Church?

Thanks.
Click to expand...
Not necessarily. It would probably just lead to some questioning; after all, the point of these questionnaires is to help you understand what you’re getting into, not to pose a barrier to marriage.

Suppose your priest read your questionnaire and asked you about it, and you said, “Well, it’s this whole no-adultery thing and lifelong commitment thing. I just don’t buy it. Marriage is just a form of dating-with-commitment, but it only lasts a few years until the divorce.”

That would be a big problem.

On the other hand, if you were questioned and said, “I just don’t get this whole papal infallibility thing. I don’t understand it, and I refuse to believe that every pope has been perfect the whole 2,000 years.”

The priest would start by telling you that you had misunderstood the doctrine. But, if you persisted, it wouldn’t be a barrier to marriage.

It’s just one more point of potential discussion, calculated to raise issues that really ought to be discussed before the wedding – no different than asking, “So; how many kids are you hoping to have?” in hopes that any needed discussion will get started in time to make some important decisions.
 
Godfollower said:
Not necessarily. It would probably just lead to some questioning; after all, the point of these questionnaires is to help you understand what you’re getting into, not to pose a barrier to marriage.

Suppose your priest read your questionnaire and asked you about it, and you said, “Well, it’s this whole no-adultery thing and lifelong commitment thing. I just don’t buy it. Marriage is just a form of dating-with-commitment, but it only lasts a few years until the divorce.”

That would be a big problem.

On the other hand, if you were questioned and said, “I just don’t get this whole papal infallibility thing. I don’t understand it, and I refuse to believe that every pope has been perfect the whole 2,000 years.”

The priest would start by telling you that you had misunderstood the doctrine. But, if you persisted, it wouldn’t be a barrier to marriage.

It’s just one more point of potential discussion, calculated to raise issues that really ought to be discussed before the wedding – no different than asking, “So; how many kids are you hoping to have?” in hopes that any needed discussion will get started in time to make some important decisions.
Click to expand...
Oh, OK. Thanks. Yeah I understand the point of FOCCUS, my parents were/are pre cana people themselves (thankfully I didn’t have to take pre cana with them!).

But that said, I wasn’t sure if lack of full belief in Church doctrines would actually prevent you from being allowed to marry in the Church.

My issue in question, if you’re curious, was the trinity. I have not nor will I ever understand what the heck that’s about. I have had this issue going way back when. My high school Priest (I forget what they call that when they have a Priest attached to a school) basically gave up on that after awhile and told me, “it doesn’t matter if you understand it, it matters if you believe it.”

But I have never been able to understand how one could believe something to be true if they didn’t even know what it was in the first place! And that question, no Priest or Deacon or laymen or anyone has ever been able to answer for me, though I have asked!

I think part of me checked “yes” just so I could avoid having the same darn conversation for the 1,000th time with a brand new person. LOL. I mean, I figure at the end of the day either it doesn’t make sense OR; I’m just stupid and can’t understand it after 20+ years so either way no point in having the conversation.

Again thanks for answering. I’m glad to know that it wouldn’t have been an issue.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Oh, OK. Thanks. Yeah I understand the point of FOCCUS, my parents were/are pre cana people themselves (thankfully I didn’t have to take pre cana with them!).

But that said, I wasn’t sure if lack of full belief in Church doctrines would actually prevent you from being allowed to marry in the Church.

My issue in question, if you’re curious, was the trinity. I have not nor will I ever understand what the heck that’s about. I have had this issue going way back when. My high school Priest (I forget what they call that when they have a Priest attached to a school) basically gave up on that after awhile and told me, “it doesn’t matter if you understand it, it matters if you believe it.”

But I have never been able to understand how one could believe something to be true if they didn’t even know what it was in the first place! And that question, no Priest or Deacon or laymen or anyone has ever been able to answer for me, though I have asked!

I think part of me checked “yes” just so I could avoid having the same darn conversation for the 1,000th time with a brand new person. LOL. I mean, I figure at the end of the day either it doesn’t make sense OR; I’m just stupid and can’t understand it after 20+ years so either way no point in having the conversation.

Again thanks for answering. I’m glad to know that it wouldn’t have been an issue.
Click to expand...
It doesn’t sound to me like it would be an issue. Not understanding the Trinity isn’t something that would invalidate marriage vows.

After all, no one understands the Trinity. We’re just humans, with an imperfect understanding of God. We will never understand everything about Him, because we can’t; our human nature interferes.

Think about the Church’s definition of the sacred mysteries: they’re things that, no matter how much we study them, there will always be more to try to understand. And, guess what? The Trinity is one of those sacred mysteries.
 
It depends. On what you disagree with with the RC faith.
 
If only those who believe everything and all taught by the Catholic Church were permitted to be married in the Church, the number of valid and sacramental marriages would decrease drastically. The fact is, non-Catholics are permitted to marry Catholics in the Church, it is done all the time, and they certainly do not subscribe to all the beliefs of the Catholic Church.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
My issue in question, if you’re curious, was the trinity. I have not nor will I ever understand what the heck that’s about. I have had this issue going way back when. My high school Priest (I forget what they call that when they have a Priest attached to a school) basically gave up on that after awhile and told me, “it doesn’t matter if you understand it, it matters if you believe it.”

But I have never been able to understand how one could believe something to be true if they didn’t even know what it was in the first place! And that question, no Priest or Deacon or laymen or anyone has ever been able to answer for me, though I have asked!
Click to expand...
I realize this isn’t the thread topic, but I just wanted to give a shot at hopefully helping you reconcile yourself to this teaching.

As has already been said, the trinity is a mystery, and so, we will never be able to fully understand it. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t know anything about it. The nature of God is another, similar mystery, we can learn things about God and his nature, but, ultimately, we cannot know or understand his nature until we get to heaven. Just because the full reality of God’s own nature cannot presently be known by us does not make it unreasonable to believe that God exists. The mystery of the trinity, how it is possible that three Persons exist in one God, will never be understood here on earth, but it is possible to realize that the fact that God is so unlike humans, or anything else that we have had experience with through his supereminant perfection makes it quite reasonable to accept the truth of the trinity because God has revealed to us that that is how he exists, even if we don’t understand exactly how it works.

I hope this was helpful and not confusing.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I was married a couple years ago now. I think I remember the FOCCUS questionnaire had a question something along the lines of, “Do you accept all of the doctrines of the Holy Catholic Church?” or something like that.

I remember at the time I couldn’t decide if I wanted to check “unsure” or “yes”, I felt like I was about halfway in between those two. So I just checked “yes” because I figured, all things being equal, go with the path of least resistance.

But now that I got to thinking about it, I was wondering… what would have happened if I checked “unsure” or even “no”, would that have prevented me from marrying in the Church?

Thanks.
Click to expand...
If I was preparing you and I saw no or unsure, Iwould want to explore waht it was you did not understand. It wouldn’t have prevented you getting married, but it would have bee a teaching moment.
 
It is a question that is there to be see if you and your fiance are both in the same place as far as your views on the Church. Granted if you both check no or unsure than you need to talk about it. But also if one of you checks yes and one of you checks no then that is also a conversation that needs to be had depending on what the doctrine is.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top