Confusion over which priest to talk to

[MadeAFace]

I am in RCIA and my boyfriend is Catholic. We would like to get married. We both attend the tridentine mass in a separate church building and it is performed by visiting priests from other cities that are not our parish priests. We would really like one of these priests for our ceremony but I am not sure whether or not I need to talk with one of our parish priests (who we don’t know as well) or if I should call the monastery where the other priest resides and talk to him about it. Any advice?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Where are you talking RCIA and where (which parish) is your finace a member? You should probably start with the pastor of one of those parishes to find out what the process is. Depending on where the wedding is - which church building - you will need the pastor’s approval to have a visiting priest conduct the wedding.

 

[Cristiano]

Legally are bound to receive the sacraments in your geographical parish. If you want to do it in another location you need the permission of your pastor. However, in the USA often nobody cares as long as you are in a parish of the same diocese.

 

[MadeAFace]

My RCIA class is in the front of the main church building where they hold the standard mass. After my class I drive across the street to another church building to the Latin mass. It is the same church but different building. The priest who does the Latin mass is a visiting Carmellite who live in another city. I want to get married in this building (where the latin mass at my church is held) and would like this visiting priest to perform it. Do I still need to talk with another parish priest first before I ask the visiting priest?

 

[DarkLight]

My RCIA class is in the front of the main church building where they hold the standard mass. After my class I drive across the street to another church building to the Latin mass. It is the same church but different building. The priest who does the Latin mass is a visiting Carmellite who live in another city. I want to get married in this building (where the latin mass at my church is held) and would like this visiting priest to perform it. Do I still need to talk with another parish priest first before I ask the visiting priest?

Ok so it sounds like you don’t really have two different churches here. I would approach the pastor of your parish, or the priest in charge of RCIA, with the request. Say you want a Latin wedding mass said for you. It should be doable, but the pastor is still going to be the one in charge.

This is especially true because weddings in the Catholic church require a bit more than just saying “I want to get married.” You’ll need to attend marriage prep and speak with a priest, and I’m guessing they’ll want you to complete RCIA before the marriage.

 

[L_Marshall]

Initially, you should speak to the pastor at whatever church you wish to be married at, to begin the process. It would also be wise to mention it to the pastor of the other parish, so he knows.

It would be nice, especially if you and your fiancé are known to both pastors, if both could be at the wedding. If you could drum up a third priest, and enough servers, you could even have a Solemn High Mass for your wedding.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

My RCIA class is in the front of the main church building where they hold the standard mass. After my class I drive across the street to another church building to the Latin mass. It is the same church but different building. The priest who does the Latin mass is a visiting Carmellite who live in another city. I want to get married in this building (where the latin mass at my church is held) and would like this visiting priest to perform it. Do I still need to talk with another parish priest first before I ask the visiting priest?

If there is only one parish, then you still need to talk to the pastor of that parish. The visiting priest does not have the ability to schedule the church, etc.

As Darklight said, you’ll also need to go through some kind of marriage prep which the visiting priest may not be able to arrange. You should also complete RCIA and get confirmed before the wedding.

Most parishes/diocese reccomend at least 6 months prep before you get married. Contact the pastor early so you are not suprised by any requirements. Also, do not start thinking that those requirements are obstacles - contact your pastor now and sit down with him together with your fiance to work this out.

 

[edward_george]

Legally are bound to receive the sacraments in your geographical parish. If you want to do it in another location you need the permission of your pastor. However, in the USA often nobody cares as long as you are in a parish of the same diocese.

Not exactly. You can receive the sacraments pretty much anywhere, with some stipulations. The main one concerning marriage is this:

Can. 1115 Marriages are to be celebrated in a parish where either of the contracting parties has a domicile, quasi-domicile, or month long residence or, if it concerns transients, in the parish where they actually reside. With the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.

-ACEGC

 

[AndyP2010]

Talk to the Pastor of the Parish where you are going to RCIA. That is your parish and the proper authority in these matters is the brides Pastor. He will decide everything except of course you request a marriage outside of a Catholic church then you have to go to the Bishop. Don’t talk to the visiting priest first talk to the Pastor you will have to get his ok for everything anyway.

 

[sirach2v4]

A relative of mine got married in her home parish, not her current parish, in a distant city and diocese. She was married by a priest from India, who she knew. He was in the U.S. for studies.

Not only that, but her wedding got shoehorned into the Saturday vigil mass, because that parish didn’t have a priest to cover that, anyway. So, they decided to smoosh these masses together. Her bridal party was non-Catholic, and they were whooping and hollering in church after the Mass ended, to boot.

Rules? schmules.

 

[Cojuanco]

Legally are bound to receive the sacraments in your geographical parish. If you want to do it in another location you need the permission of your pastor. However, in the USA often nobody cares as long as you are in a parish of the same diocese.

Actually, the priests who have to fill out the paperwork care. But they usually will do it without the parties getting married even knowing. But if they do not, they run afoul of canon law.