Confusion

[puzzleannie]

you said in OP you have a homosexual relationship with another woman, so we took that at face value. As many posters have reminded you, the place to get pastoral care for your personal, individual situation is from your priest in confession, not from strangers on the internet who don’t know you. No a deep affection and friendship with a person of the same sex is not a sin, nor is it an indication of homosexual tendencies or attractions, but if you use labels and words with a commonly accepted meaning, people will misjudge you. So don’t worry about the opinion of people, worry about the state of your soul, and that of the person you care about. No one goes to hell because of an attraction, sinful tendency, temptation or relationship. The only way to go to hell is persistent unrepentent refusal to ask and receive God’s mercy at the moment of death. Since you are still alive you have your lifetime to work toward an interior attitude of obedience, humility and submission to God’s will, which virtually insures you will never ask for hell.

 

[aspirant]

 

[Monica4316]

If it is not carnal love is it still wrong? We don’t even consider ourselves gay. We both know that if we break up we will both marry a man. We aren’t at all attracted to the same sex. We fell in love with each other from the inside out and not the inside in. There are no other females on this planet that we are attracted to. That’s why i refuse to consider myself ssa or anything else. It is so complicated and most people are so judgmental. I truly love this girl for how God created her. We stay away from “sex” not only because its wrong but because we want to be pure to God individually and together.

Hi Zana,

do you think that maybe what’s happening, is that you two are just really good friends, but you’re interpreting that as being in love? you said that you don’t feel attracted to females in general and if this relationship isn’t based on lust than probably it’s friendship. There’s nothing wrong with feeling love towards someone and that doesn’t have to be sexual love! I think in our society, when people think of love they generally think of the romantic one… but there are many other types.

I think there are two dangers though… one is being way too attached to a person, in a way that is harmful. (that can happen… but it doesn’t mean stop being friends. Just put it in perspective and put God first). Also, it can become a homosexual relationship and your sexual orientation might even change… I’ve heard of this happening, it’s possible. I suggest staying away from anything sexual in this relationship, and not thinking of yourselves as ‘girlfriends’, but best friends. Sex was made for a man and a woman… but close friendships can exist between any two people, they don’t need to have a romantic component to them to be real and meaningful.

I have a close friend and we always talk about things that are personal, that we struggle with, etc, we talk about God and our spiritual lives… and our friendship is really based on Christ. I have to say that this is one of the best friendships I’ve had with a person cause it encourages me to be a better person and a better Christian. CS Lewis described friendship as two people going in the same direction and looking towards the same thing… but lovers look at each other. Be careful that you don’t get SO attached that it becomes this, because that can be dangerous for salvation and might present temptations that are best to avoid.

Also, - if you feel joy being with this person, that is natural and normal, - and good - and doesn’t indicate anything sinful at all… neither does it indicate a homosexual relationship.

I also wanted to say that obviously I don’t know your situation, and it might help talking to a trusted priest

God bless!