Confussed and sad

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Blessed_is_He

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I am confessed and feel stuck. First off, me and my partner…yes we are gay. abstained from sex for months. But she brought up the point that if you aren’t sleeping together than you are not in a relationship just friends. I disagree. Mean married couples who abstain are still married. I mean sex brings couples closer together. Married couples can have this privilege and even single people have a chance to marry with family. It seems gay people are meant to just exists. We can’t have boyfriends/girlfriends, partners, marry or kids. We are like modern day lepers. What if being gay along with showing love to our committed partners isn’t wrong? True man and women were created to populate the earth but who is to say that He also created gay couples? I am so confessed. Depending on who I talk to it’s all opinions as to what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I think that if I just stopped going to church it would other be an issue. I feel stuck as in I feel I can’t be in a religion because I am gay now with a family and I can’t be gay because I am in a religion. I want to talk to a priest but this feels too complicated. Now that I am not chaste at the moment I don’t know if I need to confess this or even if I will amend my life as I am not sure if this is a sin.
 
Blessed_is_He said:
What if being gay along with showing love to our committed partners isn’t wrong? True man and women were created to populate the earth but who is to say that He also created gay couples?
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God does NOT approve of homosexuality.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes norhomosexual offendersnor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Leviticus 18:22 - “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.”*

Leviticus 20:13 - “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”*

Romans 1:26-27 - “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”*
 
This is what the catholic church catechism has to say:

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

Chastity and homosexuality

2357Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142*They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358*The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359*Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.
 
Blessed is He:

God loves you with an eternal love. He loves you so much that He took your human nature upon Himself, suffered, died, and rose again for you. The fact that He loves you urges Him on to wish only what is good for you, as His creature. As a Christian, you are more than just a creature: you are His Daughter in Christ. God wants the highest possible good for you.

Homosexual relations do not bring the highest good to you. I myself have dealt with exclusively same-sex attractions from the moment I reached puberty. I know it is a way of death, and not a way of joy in Christ. We continuously search for something that is not fulfilling, because we want to be filled in a superficial way… not realizing that at the root of that urge is a wish to be filled in a very deep way. By embracing the superficial, we forget the profound and beautiful. Whether “Lesbian” or “Gay”, this life of estrangement from the marital bond is not what we are meant for. Mankind is either to be fruitful and multiply and and cover the whole earth, or to remain celibate for the love of God. The second one is my calling, because of God’s mercy, and it is your calling too!

Your highest good, sister in Christ, is to live only for God. Please reconsider living with another woman in this way. Whether you abstain or not doesn’t really matter, because the relationship itself encourages your self-identification as “gay person”. You are not a gay person; you are a human person! Please abandon the way of the world, and think with the mind and love with the heart of Christ. Marriage between man & woman makes a true bond… and sexuality is for marriage. God makes that perfectly clear. We cannot get married, so we cannot have sexual intercourse, or even live a life that would tend toward that. It is no burden at all if we consecrate it to the love of Jesus our Lord.

Never hesitate to ask questions. Many will just quote scripture or church documents, condemning The Lifestyle - which is a good thing, but it is not enough. In a sense, only those who struggle with same-sex attractions can understand your dilemma. You believe that you are loving sincerely by staying with your partner… but believe me, it is a way of disappointment: both on earth and in heaven. We will pray for you! All of us!
 
Morality is not just a matter of opinion. Christ is quite clear about this.

You need Christ more than you need your non-Christian partner. Contact the Courage apostolate:

Courage apostolate:
couragerc.net/
 
Blessed_is_He said:
I am confessed and feel stuck. First off, me and my partner…yes we are gay. abstained from sex for months. But she brought up the point that if you aren’t sleeping together than you are not in a relationship just friends. I disagree. Mean married couples who abstain are still married. I mean sex brings couples closer together. Married couples can have this privilege and even single people have a chance to marry with family. It seems gay people are meant to just exists. We can’t have boyfriends/girlfriends, partners, marry or kids. We are like modern day lepers. What if being gay along with showing love to our committed partners isn’t wrong? True man and women were created to populate the earth but who is to say that He also created gay couples? I am so confessed. Depending on who I talk to it’s all opinions as to what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I think that if I just stopped going to church it would other be an issue. I feel stuck as in I feel I can’t be in a religion because I am gay now with a family and I can’t be gay because I am in a religion. I want to talk to a priest but this feels too complicated. Now that I am not chaste at the moment I don’t know if I need to confess this or even if I will amend my life as I am not sure if this is a sin.
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Go straight to a priest whom you like and trust and discuss it. While not technically wrong, on a forum like this you will receive a lot of legality and judgment. What you need is more pastoral. I can relate. Because of other choices I have made, I am constantly barraged by lay people who would say that I am not in good standing and should not go to communion, etc. Again, while this is right according to canon law, it is not helpful. You and I are both seeking God. Do not look for your God on any forum, even one as good as this one.
Seek him in your heart and with qualified spiritual guidance.
Good luck. I am a worse sinner than you, but will offer my humble prayers for you.
 
Caladrius said:
Never hesitate to ask questions. Many will just quote scripture or church documents, condemning The Lifestyle - which is a good thing, but it is not enough.
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I assume that comment was aimed at my earlier posts…

I used scripture and quotes from the catachism to show the original poster what god and the church teaches about homosexuality…that is far more useful for the original posters eternal welfare than a simple opinion…
 
Please remember that straight heterosexuals are also called to be chaste.

I can understand how confused you might get, and how hard it is to abstain, while wishing to express your love to another person. It can be a daily struggle.

But don’t give up on going to Church or your relationship with God. I will pray that you can find a kind and wise Confessor who can help you traverse this road.
 
Prayers for you as you carry your cross. I would second on recommending you check out Courage, if you haven’t already. Whenever I have heard its founder speak, he’s always struck me as a compassionate, sensible, faithful man. You are not alone.

Correction: the Father in charge now is not the one who founded it.
 
This is their mission statement:

“The Courage apostolate is that maternal solicitude on the part of the Church to people who have a unique struggle, an often difficult and vexing one, and who want to know that the grace of Christ and his Cross is available to them in concrete and practical ways. This is part of the charism of Courage and what was in the mind and heart of our founder, Cardinal Cooke. It is a desire to express the Church’s care and affection for a group of people who often feel isolated. I don’t just say lonely, but isolated. They’re uncertain about where they can find assistance, who really takes an interest in them and who has a love for them. The Church does.”
 
Considering is the tendency of the illuminative way. The predomination of circumstance in which you speak signifies the purgative way. St. Thomas says, “those things that are possessed of reason, move themselves to an end (from an intention)”. Do you know the real reason, what it is that brought you to post your issue? Do you know that by which it is, the experience, that gave you to rise to faith? I encourage you to find unity in the faith, by being a sister in Courage. Be inspired by considersations once you purge yourself of lust, and with the considerations act in faith, and perhaps start a new apostolate. Coraggio! That’s an exclamation the Papal Preacher used on EWTN, which was my Italian taste in which is commonly used over there to inspire courage.
 
Blessed is He:

God loves you no matter what. He made you the way you are for a reason. And God doesn’t make mistakes 😉

I have seen tons of straight people living sinful lives. It doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight, what matters is your love for Christ and how you live your life.
 
Blessed is He,
People have different crosses to bear, some are heavier than others. Having SSA is a very heavy cross to bear, trust me. I don’t know what to say, other than I’ll pray for you. Also, pray the rosary daily for purity, say 3 Hail Marys morning+night for purity, and receive confession often.

God Bless +++
 
Blessed_is_He said:
I am confessed and feel stuck. First off, me and my partner…yes we are gay. abstained from sex for months. But she brought up the point that if you aren’t sleeping together than you are not in a relationship just friends. I disagree. Mean married couples who abstain are still married. I mean sex brings couples closer together. Married couples can have this privilege and even single people have a chance to marry with family. It seems gay people are meant to just exists. We can’t have boyfriends/girlfriends, partners, marry or kids. We are like modern day lepers. What if being gay along with showing love to our committed partners isn’t wrong? True man and women were created to populate the earth but who is to say that He also created gay couples? I am so confessed. Depending on who I talk to it’s all opinions as to what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I think that if I just stopped going to church it would other be an issue. I feel stuck as in I feel I can’t be in a religion because I am gay now with a family and I can’t be gay because I am in a religion. I want to talk to a priest but this feels too complicated. Now that I am not chaste at the moment I don’t know if I need to confess this or even if I will amend my life as I am not sure if this is a sin.
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Become a nun and end your dilemma.
 
ventura2323 said:
Become a nun and end your dilemma.
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That’s not very helpful advice.

Running away from one’s lot in life is exactly the wrong reason to seek a vocation in a religious order. One does so because one seeks God with a strong attraction to the charism of the order as established by its founder. Most noviciates in fact are set up to weed out people seeking admission to the order for the wrong reasons.

To the OP you are in my prayers. We are all sinners that fall short of the glory of God. But remember Jesus came to free us from sin, and through His graces He gives us the possibility to achieve that freedom here on earth, not in some far off time after we die. But it’s hard to get to it, very hard because we have to let go of control, learn to accept ourselves as we are, and place full trust in the Lord that He too loves us just as much as anybody else; it’s truly not easy to do and it’s not a switch you can throw on or off on your own; the only thing that can flip that switch is grace. Feel free to PM me, been there done that, have had my own battles though on a different front.
 
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