Conjuring the dead

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HoneyBea

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I apologize upfront is this is posted in the wrong forum.

Last night my husband and I went to the All Saints Mass and we prayed for the souls of those departed and wrote their names down in the mass offering book.

My husbands father died on Easter this year and I know he hasn’t properly mourned. He had an usual relationship with his father, his parents divorced when he was very young. His father was a truck driver and spent a lot of time away and while my husband did spend time with his father growing up (weekends etc.)-- my husband tells me that he dreaded going to have to spend the night with is father, because his father would basically slave labor them- his words not mine. He said his father would put him and his brothers to work as in painting the house, mowing, building fences etc. hard labor for young boys from dusk to dawn. While I think this had some positive effects on my husband work ethic, I also believe my husband carries resentment with him. He feels used by his father. His father was also a very cheap man and would rarely reward the children even at Christmas. He died hoarding money. Ok, I’m digressing, but basically he left nothing to his boys in his will and everything to his 7th wife, who has children from other marriages and grandchild who are either on drugs, or extremely irresponsible and often exploit her for money. This was a huge marital issue for them, because her children and grandchildren were constantly asking for money due to their lack of responsibility. My husband and his brothers on the other hand, never caused their father problems, wonderful students, never got in any trouble, no drugs, just good boys. So, when his father died and left them nothing I know it hurt him, because his father spent the last 10 yrs of his life complaining about his wife’s children and how they keep asking for money. So we cant understand why he wouldn’t take precaution with his will to make sure his entire life of work wasn’t squandered. My husband says he doesn’t care about the money and I believe him, I think for him its more about being left out not thought of, not considered. Not to mention his his wife immediately closed off contact with my husband and brother in the form of a letter. Its almost as if she had been waiting for him to die. The man was not an easy man- he was stubborn & difficult man to live with and I know she was extremely unhappy, but to completely cut off contact with the boys, who have been nothing but good to her- I just cant understand. My point is that in my opinion there are a lot of unresolved issues brewing in my husband. Towards the end of my his life he also claimed to be Jehova’s witness (I think) or whichever one of those doesn’t recognize Christmas. He changed his religion for the sole purpose of being able to avoid buying Christmas presents. So, I told my husband we need to pray for his daddy, and pray a lot, because I am confused as to whether or not he is even saved. So, we prayed last night during mass and this morning my husband told me his father talked to him in his dream last night. It kinda freaked me out, but I know dreams dont necessarily mean his father was talking to him, but it could just be my husbands sub conscious at work. It did however get me thinking…I know some people talk to their departed ones out loud. Are we not suppose to do this? What is the line between talking to them and conjuring them? I am particularly concerned, because as I stated I am not sure where my husbands father is.
 
I don’t think you understand what conjuring the dead actually means. It means to call upon the spirit of the dead person by means of incantation (magic). In other words, your husband would have had to be casting spells with the express purpose of bringing the spirit of his father to himself. Somehow, I seriously doubt he did that. 🙂
I am not surprised your husband dreamed about his father. He has not come to terms with his poor treatment, and he has not dealt with his loss. You went to Mass, prayed for his father, wrote his name in the book of prayers. It is only natural that your husband was thinking about him. If I were you, I would encourage him to continue to pray for his father, and to get help in dealing with the pain his father caused.
 
Thank you for your reply. You are right I dont understand, but I am uneasy with the idea of even talking to the dead.

So, talking to your departed ones is perfectly ok? I cant explain why this has always made me uncomfortable. Although, I admittedly have talked to my grandparents myself as well as prayed for them.

I think all this is on the forefront of my mind, because we have recently moved to Japan and there are tombs everywhere constantly reminded me of death . They also believe that their spirits roam around and have many festivals where they invite and celebrate the spirits to come back and visit their household altars. Ive had an uneasy feeling since moving into our home. Nothing necessarily bad but just different. I think it all started when we moved in and I found rice and palms all around the house. The owners as customary had a Rice Feng Shui blessing of our home right before we moved in.
 
HoneyBea, I’m also in a country with different customs. I have dabbed holy water on the doorway of every apartment I have lived in and prayed for only good to be in that apartment. (Started this when a friend had a ‘nasty’ experience in her apartment soon after we all arrived here.)

Our priests also will come to our homes and bless them for us. Perhaps you should consider asking your priest to do this for you, to give you complete peace of mind in your home?
 
HoneyBea said:
So, talking to your departed ones is perfectly ok?

Ive had an uneasy feeling since moving into our home. Nothing necessarily bad but just different. I think it all started when we moved in and I found rice and palms all around the house. The owners as customary had a Rice Feng Shui blessing of our home right before we moved in.
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Can you get a priest to bless your home? The man who previously lived in my apartment was Japanese and had Feng Shui stuff everywhere. I also had a really uncomfortable feeling, but it passed after the apartment was blessed. Like a new calm came over the place.

We don’t actually talk to the departed. Praying for the intercession of saints is different: the church claims some people are in heaven and they have the power to pray for us. But that is not the same as ‘talking’ to your deceased grandma. We don’t know who is in heaven (except for the canonised saints) so we can’t assume that they hear us. We hope for the best but pray for their souls just in case. So rather than *talk to *a deceased relative, it is better to *pray for *them and have masses said for them.
 
When my twin brother died unexpectedly I used to have many dreams of him, strangely, most often in a train. These dreams continued until I realised in one of these dreams that my brother as really dead and I woke in shock. It was only the grieving process and my subconscious coming to grips with my brother’s death. No more dreams from that day.
 
Thanks that’s what I’ve been thinking. I’m tired of making the dogs go upstairs with me when I need to up there alone when my husband is gone at work- or being scared getting up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. I don’t normally feel this way before, it’s very unsettling. I usually sing loudly songs of hymns as I walk up the stairs and praise God out loud and ask him to be with me in every corner of my home and heart. I also say out loud that I am a servant of God. One time in particular I was making the bed and I sensed something strongly like I said not necessarily bad but I became immediately un easy and panicky so I loudly started praising God and the feeling subsided quickly, I’m not sure if it’s my mind but the last time I suffered from this was all through my childhood living in my parents home. It wasnt until I left my parents home and fell away from God and into great sins did these feelings to away. So I’m confused as to why I’m getting them again now that I am growing strong in my faith and close to God,
 
I just wanted to clarify that I feel like it’s mostly my imagination and not something else. I’m just wondering why after all these years my mind is playing tricks on me again. It feels a bit silly.
 
HoneyBea said:
I just wanted to clarify that I feel like it’s mostly my imagination and not something else. I’m just wondering why after all these years my mind is playing tricks on me again. It feels a bit silly.
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It’s not so silly, HoneyBea. You are in a stressful time right now. You are worried about your husband and your marriage, and you are living in a foreign place with customs you may not understand. It sounds to me that the stress is taking its toll on you. Put your mind at ease about the house by having a priest come by and bless it. As for the rest (troubles in the marriage and dealing with whatever happened in your childhood), it would probably benefit you to get some professional help. It does not mean you are crazy or anything of the sort; it just means you need help getting over past hurts and figuring out how to deal with your current problems. By all means, though, continue to call on God for help!
 
In addition to getting your house blessed, you could get a Blessed St. Benedict crucifix or medal and some holy water.
 
Thank you for your kind words. What if it isn’t my imagination? I don’t have any other symptoms but your right stress could be triggering this. It’s just that I’ve been under great stress for several years now and I never felt this until I got here and also closer to God. Also, when I was a child it wasn’t something that consumed me or anything like that. I just remember having fears of evil things, but not so much that it affected me or that my parents even noticed. My parents were/are very strong in their Catholic faith and while they raised us in the faith they didn’t necessarily do a good job at explaining the faith. It was more of do this because it’s what we do. There were so many things left not understood or misunderstood about our faith and that could have been the cause of my unnecessary fear of evil.
 
HoneyBea said:
It’s just that I’ve been under great stress for several years now and I never felt this until I got here and also closer to God.
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Spiritual attack can come in many shapes. The devil wants us afraid and far from God, and attacks most strongly when we grow closer to God. I have read about this and apparently demons can latch on to natural causes - such as stress, illness, etc. - and attack with that.

You are right, it could be stress, but it could be stress and something else. Get your place blessed, and get some holy water to sprinkle whenever you feel this unease. I’ve not felt anything strange and unpleasant in my apartment since I had it blessed, and I can’t tell you what a difference that has made.
 
jaimeleglise said:
In addition to getting your house blessed, you could get a Blessed St. Benedict crucifix or medal and some holy water.
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It’s interesting you say that because I just found the empty box or the st Benedict crucifix in my husbands sock drawer tonight. It was the one he wore around his neck during his confirmation this past Easter. Doesn’t this mean it’s blessed since he wore it while receiving his sacraments? It’s been in my car, (I didn’t know that’s what it was) tomorrow I will bring it inside. I also have a Rosary made out of rosewood my mother gave me and there is a paper inside that says it was made by the Carmelite sisters and my mother had it blessed by the pope on her trip, I also have a crucifix over our bed, one in the door way of our home, and I always wear a crufix around my neck as well.
 
I also found out tonight that my patron saint is saint Beatrice, but I don’t know much about her yet.
 
HoneyBea said:
It’s interesting you say that because I just found the empty box or the st Benedict crucifix in my husbands sock drawer tonight. It was the one he wore around his neck during his confirmation this past Easter. Doesn’t this mean it’s blessed since he wore it while receiving his sacraments? It’s been in my car, (I didn’t know that’s what it was) tomorrow I will bring it inside. I also have a Rosary made out of rosewood my mother gave me and there is a paper inside that says it was made by the Carmelite sisters and my mother had it blessed by the pope on her trip, I also have a crucifix over our bed, one in the door way of our home, and I always wear a crufix around my neck as well.
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Honey Bea,
Code: 
   Contra Mundum and other have given you good and sound advice.  We can't control our dreams.
PRAYER AGAINST NIGHTMARES.

Dear Jesus I ask that you hold my imagination for me while I sleep.
Keep it with you where it is safe and protected so
that I may sleep well this night and in the morning
give Praise to You because I am well rested.
Amen
Code: 
  I suggest praying the Rosary daily as a family united in prayer.
Remember the demons are out numbered 2 to 1. Address the Blessed
Mother as “Queen of Heaven” in prayer and ask her to send Warring
Angels to come to your aid.

Peace in Christ,
BP
 
I am very glad you found those sacramentals, HoneyBea. Thank you for sharing this with us.
 
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