Consequence of NOT being confirmed?

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bluemountain

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My son is a baptized catholic. He is a junior at a Catholic high school and is dedicated to his faith. Because of an unreasonable strict religious ed program at our parish, he is not being “Approved” for confirmation with his class this year. Others throughout the diocese have met twice and our parish group has met 27 times…Anyway, what is the ramification of him NOT making his confirmation? IS he still considered “Catholic” in good standing?
Thank you.
 
I don’t see why not. It’s not as if he’s rejecting his faith and refusing to be confirmed. For some reason, they’re asking him to wait.
 
He is still considered to Catholic in good standing. He is not however a fully initiated Catholic since he has not received all the sacraments of initiation. Confirmation completes and perfects our baptismal grace and strengthens us to live a Christian life. He still will get grace but it is ideal for him to be confirmed which will give him more grace. Hope this helps.

God Bless,
Matt
 
bluemountain said:
My son is a baptized catholic. He is a junior at a Catholic high school and is dedicated to his faith. Because of an unreasonable strict religious ed program at our parish, he is not being “Approved” for confirmation with his class this year.
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Talk to your Bishop.

While classes for Confirmation are highly recommended (and there has to be a happy medium somewhere between two and 27 - two classes doesn’t seem like enough time to ask all the questions that kids have, but 27 seems excessive), the only actual requirements for Confirmation are that the person is baptised, and (if an adult) wants to be Catholic, or (if a child) their parents want them to be Catholic.
 
Thank you for your feedback. I get frustrated when local parish rules keep good kids (17yrs old) for staying in the Church. We seem to put so many hurdles in their road…we are losing a lot of good people due to unreasonable expectations…
 
bluemountain said:
My son is a baptized catholic. He is a junior at a Catholic high school and is dedicated to his faith. Because of an unreasonable strict religious ed program at our parish, he is not being “Approved” for confirmation with his class this year. Others throughout the diocese have met twice and our parish group has met 27 times…Anyway, what is the ramification of him NOT making his confirmation? IS he still considered “Catholic” in good standing?
Thank you.
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Have a meeting with your priest and your son.

CCD directors do not have final say on who is to be confirmed or not. Only the pastor has the authority to refuse a person from the Sacraments.

When I taught Confirmation classes, I saw the pastor over ride an over zealous CCD Director, who attempted to prevent students from receiving Confirmation, a couple of times.

The pastor is the boss, not the director.

BTW, before you do all this, be sure your son wants to be confirmed. I saw a case where the student was only going to receive the sacrament, to please her parents. The pastor allowed the student to drop out of the program.

Jim
 
If your son is in Catholic school he is most likely in theology classes in school. I our parish the kids in the school do not need to take extra CCD classes in prep for COnfirmation. They do have to go on the retreats and do the service projects and other extra activities with the rest of the parish kids. What is it exactly that they are objecting to in keeping him from receiving…not going to classes. Can’t they test him to see if he knows the material. As a Catholic school student he just might know more than the CCD folks think he knows.
 
bluemountain said:
My son is a baptized catholic. He is a junior at a Catholic high school and is dedicated to his faith. Because of an unreasonable strict religious ed program at our parish, he is not being “Approved” for confirmation with his class this year. Others throughout the diocese have met twice and our parish group has met 27 times…Anyway, what is the ramification of him NOT making his confirmation? IS he still considered “Catholic” in good standing?
Thank you.
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Besides not receiving the Grace bestowed by the sacrament, not being confirmed means he can’t be a godfather or be ordained. Of course that situation will disappear as soon as he is confirmed later. I wonder by what criteria they judged that he wasn’t ready.
 
Joannm said:
They do have to go on the retreats and do the service projects and other extra activities with the rest of the parish kids.
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Wow! :eek: I was Confirmed around 1973… and I don’t remember even having to do this! I was in public school by this time, and did have to attend CCD. But I don’t remember any other sort of retreats or projects. Things really have changed! I’m concerned… because my nephew (23) and niece (19) are not yet Confirmed, either. They are so busy with school and jobs, etc. I don’t know how they will be able to fit all of this in. 😦
 
Phemie said:
Besides not receiving the Grace bestowed by the sacrament, not being confirmed means he can’t be a godfather or be ordained. Of course that situation will disappear as soon as he is confirmed later. I wonder by what criteria they judged that he wasn’t ready.
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Confirmation is also a prerequisit to Marriage.
 
bluemountain said:
My son is a baptized catholic. He is a junior at a Catholic high school and is dedicated to his faith. Because of an unreasonable strict religious ed program at our parish, he is not being “Approved” for confirmation with his class this year. Others throughout the diocese have met twice and our parish group has met 27 times…Anyway, what is the ramification of him NOT making his confirmation? IS he still considered “Catholic” in good standing?
Thank you.
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Contact the school and see if there is an alternative for Confirmation for children attending the school.

Make an appointment to discuss this with your priest and BE FIRM.

If 1 and 2 don’t work, take it to the Bishop-- call, write, email, don’t give up. Show up at the scheduled confirmation and tell the Bishop what this parish has tried to do to prevent your son from receiving the Sacrament to which he has a right.

This is ridiculous.

Last but not least, when he turns 18 he is out of the reach of overzealous CCD instructors-- he can approach the priest for Confirmation and they can’t stop him.
 
1ke said:
Confirmation is also a prerequisit to Marriage.
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No, it isn’t.

Canon 1065 - 1. If they can do so without serious inconvenience, Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage.

Bishops and priests vary widely in their interpretation of what constitutes “serious inconvenience” and there are more that a few validly married Catholics who aren’t confirmed.
 
1ke said:
Confirmation is also a prerequisit to Marriage.
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Ummmm…interesting as my husband and I were only required to submit proof of baptism. Of course, that was 8 years ago, things may have changed since then.
 
kristie_m said:
Ummmm…interesting as my husband and I were only required to submit proof of baptism. Of course, that was 8 years ago, things may have changed since then.
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Usually that’s all that’s needed because your recent certificate of baptism would include the date of your confirmation.
 
I am not understanding why your son has to go to Catechism class if he is in Catholic school. Our parish doesn’t require any Catechism classes for the children in parish or Catholic schools because they prepare for sacraments in school. Wow, that really is pretty excessive.
 
bluemountain said:
My son is a baptized catholic. He is a junior at a Catholic high school and is dedicated to his faith. Because of an unreasonable strict religious ed program at our parish, he is not being “Approved” for confirmation with his class this year. Others throughout the diocese have met twice and our parish group has met 27 times…Anyway, what is the ramification of him NOT making his confirmation? IS he still considered “Catholic” in good standing?
Thank you.
Click to expand...
Of course he is still Catholic. He just is not fully initiated into the Catholic faith. The Sacraments of Initiation are Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Communion.
 
honeysuckle said:
I am not understanding why your son has to go to Catechism class if he is in Catholic school. Our parish doesn’t require any Catechism classes for the children in parish or Catholic schools because they prepare for sacraments in school. Wow, that really is pretty excessive.
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We do (somewhat), but that is because our schools don’t do Sacramental Preparation directly - they cover the basics, but we have a lot of non-Catholics in attendance at our schools, as well, so they don’t get into the nuts and bolts of it. We have a Sunday morning program for Sacramental Preparation here at the parish - it’s reasonably painless - I think the shortest one is three weeks, and for Confirmation, it’s six weeks plus a retreat, and they can do as many service projects as they want - they have a choice of six, and they can do one, some, or all of them, depending on their level of enthusiasm. Obviously, kids who do more service projects get more gold stars, but it doesn’t affect whether or not they receive the Sacrament.
 
MarieVeronica said:
Wow! :eek: I was Confirmed around 1973… and I don’t remember even having to do this! I was in public school by this time, and did have to attend CCD. But I don’t remember any other sort of retreats or projects. Things really have changed! I’m concerned… because my nephew (23) and niece (19) are not yet Confirmed, either. They are so busy with school and jobs, etc. I don’t know how they will be able to fit all of this in. 😦
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I think it might vary by parish and age groups, because my youngest brother did have a mini retreat and a couple of other extra activities (aside from CCD classes). He is a fifth grader so he did it with First Holy Communion.

But me and another brother (he is 14) are taking the adult CCD for confirmation starting later this month and our priest told me we only need to take the four classes, that there are no required retreats involved for the adults. This might just be my parish or diocease though.🤷
 
The service projects and even the education is not absolutely essential for being confirmed. My husband was confirmed in the first grade by Cardinal Carberry. In the Eastern rite, babies are confirmed. In the Acts of the Apostles, the Holy Spirit was given to many people, even babies, who had not done any service projects or taken any Catechism classes!
 
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