Considered cheating my girlfriend

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Do you not see how that could never be? There are so many situations. The church cannot possibly have a one size fits all answer. That isn’t how Catholicism works.
 
It is called garbage dumping. I recommend not. BTW temptations are not sins!
 
No, you should not.

Discuss your lingering guilt with your confessor, and then obey him when concluding, and “go in peace.”

Deacon Christopher
 
There is the reason the Good Lord did not make us mind-readers.
Go forward with the firm intention that you will tell your wife EVERYTHING that you actually do to betray her. That will help you to avoid ever doing it, because you’ll be a lot more realistic about what actually cheating could do to your marriage.

No, don’t tell her the things you used to think of doing a long time ago. Would you tell her about nasty things you thought of telling her but didn’t say? Of course not. You didn’t do it. You aren’t tempted now. Let it go. (Remember it, though, if she ever confesses to betraying your trust. It will help you to be more merciful.)
 
Considering his lifestyle at the time and his wording, it’s safe to say he likely entertained impure thoughts, not merely being tempted. But it is really beside the point if they were sinful thoughts or not.
 
Yes.

However it was not only thoughts, but also intimacy, talking, flirting, giving signals of interest to other women. I think sometimes I only didn’t cheat by shyness…
 
Ok, so what? How long ago was this? Why is it an issue now? You are now flirting with the idea of cruelty to your wife.
 
No, do not tell her. No good will come of it. It will not benefit your soul, and it will probably damage your marriage.

You must bear the burden of this knowledge on your own. As another poster said, consider it a part of your penance.
 
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If you harmed her by flirting, you’ll harm her a second time by unnecessarily dumping it on her.

Now if you did actually cheat before getting married, then yes I’d say tell her because you’d have deprived her critical information to make an informed decision on whether to marry you.

If you feel bad about what you did, then do something nice for her.
 
Vincit said:
but should I tell her?
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NO!

This was your sin, not hers. If you dump this on her you make her carry this pain. It’s cruel and unChristian.

I had someone confess to me a horrible sin. They felt so relieved. I’ve lived with the pain of knowing that someone I love dearly committed a horrible act. That was so cruel of them to do that to me. Don’t do it to your wife!!!
 
Aquinas11 said:
Now if you did actually cheat before getting married, then yes I’d say tell her because you’d have deprived her critical information to make an informed decision on whether to marry you.
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I would consider the flirting relevant.
 
Ok but “flirting” is such a loaded word. There is a huge scale to it, no?
 
I think I had the desire and intention to cheat. I don’t know if I would really make it in the end. But all before marriage.
 
vsedriver said:
NO!

This was your sin, not hers. If you dump this on her you make her carry this pain. It’s cruel and unChristian.

I had someone confess to me a horrible sin. They felt so relieved. I’ve lived with the pain of knowing that someone I love dearly committed a horrible act. That was so cruel of them to do that to me. Don’t do it to your wife!!!
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OP, there you go! Someone is telling you how it feels!
Don’t do it.
 
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