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4Horsemen
Guest
Very creative thinking, greylorn. Maybe you’ve read A Travel Guide to Heaven by Anthonly DeStefano. He describes Heaven as a physical place and says the best images of Heaven come from children’s books on the subject – vibrant, colorful, with beautiful artifacts we’ve never seen before, But that experience is awaiting for us when we get our glorified bodies. C.S. Lewis said that the serious business of Heaven is joy.Consider something entirely different, outside the box containing your question. Coming from a physics/astronomy/engineering background, I’ll risk this guess about you. It is not simply the learning of things scientific which you enjoy, but even more so, the applications of your knowledge to the solution of problems, as well as the sharing of your knowledge. In that context, what if God meets you at the pearly gates, drapes one spiritual arm over your recently transmogrified shoulder, and says something like,
“Hey, there Nespy! Good to see you, and I want you to know that you are exactly the kind of fellow I’m looking for, someone smart enough to have figured out aforehand that I’ve listened to plenty enough harp strumming. Did you happen to read, Captain Stormfield’s Trip to Heaven? Oh, well— no matter. Just wanted you to know how we all appreciate those who show up and can just skip the re-indoctrination program. No one here wants to teach it anymore, especially to the billions of folks coming in after training in earthly religions. They are so insistent on having things being the way they were taught. The Muslims are the most tiresome, always whining, demanding dinner and virgins. So once again, thanks for coming prepared.”
Of course by this time your face is lit up like a glow worm, and you are wondering which advanced science class you’ll be assigned to first, when God continues. “That was the good news. Now looking at your chart, I see that you’ve studied all kinds of bugs, flying, crawling, swimming, whatever. Exemplary! Now as it turns out, we don’t have any bugs here. However, there’s a big warm moon orbiting a planet your astronomers would call Aldebaran XVII if they knew about it, and we’re already in Stage 4 of life engineering there. Our guys need bugs! Plenty of bugs, but the right kind. Bugs that fit into the environment, do some planet reformation, help spread DNA around, etc. Does that sound like your kind of job?”
God pauses for your reply, but all you can muster is a sorry, “Bug— I mean but, God! I only know what bugs look like and what some of them do. I don’t know how to actually make one!”
“Yes, of course I know,” God replies soothingly. “So you’re not ready for the project just yet. Not a problem, since the last job timeline came in at an estimated 30 million years, assuming the space junk managers can deal with a nasty incoming asteroid. So, not to worry! We’ve got a great little training program that’ll be perfect for you.”
Your smile is back, and you find yourself kind of moving sideways to see through the doorway that God seems to be deliberately blocking. as you say, “Great! Where do I sign up?”
“We’re way ahead of you! There’s a perfect niche already reserved. Michael Behe’s wife is just entering her third trimester, 13th offspring, and we’ve been kind of holding that spot. Don’t know if you’ve heard of Behe. A Catholic microbiologist with just the right attitude, written a couple of books on “Intelligent Design.” He’s figuring things out. Good man, great mind, and a perfect dad for you! You’ll be able to learn from him how critters are built from the inside out.”
“But, but, I don’t want to go back to the USA. The evil capitalists and Republicans are taking over!”
“Ah, yes. I see that you voted for Obama. Nonetheless, there are excellent options. You’ll have to master quantum electrodynamics before you get to your Aldebaran job anyway. Insect brains use it all the time. There’s an excellent little physics program opening up in a comfy North Korean enclave— used to be a gulag, but they’ve installed a toilet recently. We could fill a few other gaps in your education by sending you back as a cute little girl with some guitar-playing talent to give you an edge, maybe even catch the personal attention of their, uh, ‘great leader’…”
Following is a quote from the opening titled “A Special Preboarding Announcement:”
"All passengers traveling to our final destination today have been awarded a lifetime’s worth of frequent flyer miles, entitling them to automatic upgrades to first class. Since the flight is very full, we ask that you check the following items at the gate before boarding: gloominess, stuffiness, cynicism, pessimism, intellectual snobbery, closed-mindedness, self-righteousnesss and prejudice against God or religion.
Please be assured you can retrieve this property upon your return–if you wish."
IMHO, you don’t get a return trip. Like the old beer commercial says, “You only go around once!”