Contracepting spouse

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It was my understanding that it wasn’t necessarily sinful for a Catholic spouse to engage in relations with a contracepting spouse, assuming he or she takes no direct actions to contribute to the act of contraception.

In a recent post, Fr Z seems to be telling a reader that he must abstain from all relations with his contracepting spouse period: http://wdtprs.com/blog/2019/04/ask-father-my-unbaptized-wife-insists-on-contraception/.

Can anyone provide an authoritative text on the matter?
 
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Me either… but he’s a very popular priest with a huge following and a lot of influence, so I wanted to bring it up and get some clarity…
 
The post you linked to concerned a question by a Catholic gentleman about martial relations with his contracepting wife. The reply was given not by Fr Z but by a guest priest response a Fr T. Ferguson.

This gentleman who asked the question mentioned the document below which I’ve linked below. This document mentions other documents too “Encyclical Humanae Vitae , the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio , and other documents of the ordinary Magisterium of the Supreme Pontiff”. AND " Encyclical Casti Connubii (1930) of Pius XI,12 numerous discourses of Pius XII,13 the Encyclical Humanae Vitae (1968) of Paul VI,14 the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio 15 (1981), the Letter to Families Gratissimam Sane 16 and the Encyclical Evangelium Vitae (1995) of John Paul II. Together with these, the Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes 17 (1965) and the Catechism of the Catholic Church 18 (1992) deserve special mention."

VADEMECUM FOR CONFESSORS CONCERNING SOME ASPECTS OF THE MORALITY OF CONJUGAL LIFE
 
This is what I would think as well, but would be eager to hear from posters who have more knowledge on the subject.
 
If your spouse is the one contraception and you don’t want them to but they do anyway, how are you cooperating?
 
It seems that if we follow the advice of the priest response in my OP and some posters here, we are saying avoiding even indirect participation with a spouse’s contraception is more important than preserving a marriage. I’m not being glib… but of course there is a very good chance that this sort of thing (“I won’t have sex with you until you accept my view on contraception) will end in divorce… VERY high chance.
 
twf said:
It seems that if we follow the advice of the priest response in my OP and some posters here, we are saying avoiding even indirect participation with a spouse’s contraception is more important than preserving a marriage. I’m not being glib… but of course there is a very good chance that this sort of thing (“I won’t have sex with you until you accept my view on contraception) will end in divorce… VERY high chance.
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Was the couple married in the Catholic church? If not, and one of them was Catholic going into the marriage, then their union is not recognized by the church already. Null/void
If they were married in the church, then the spouse made a commitment and made a vow to be open to life. (It’s actually a question youi have to say “I do.” to) So actually the “ultimatum” isnt an ultimatum as much as it is negligence on the part of the person who consented without really knowing or understanding what they were consenting to.
 
My thoughts exactly. Seems like poor advice about marriage given by an unmarried man
 
For full disclosure I’ve been in this situation… and priests were very understanding in the confessional.
 
Le_Crouton said:
If your spouse is the one contraception and you don’t want them to but they do anyway, how are you cooperating?
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Sex is consentual. I think at the least it encourages the continued use of contraception by the spouse. Refusing intercourse may act as a deterrent.

I don’t see the difference between having sex with a spouse you know is contracepting and driving a woman to sn abortion clinic.
 
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Respectfully, that’s why you’re not a confessor. Even if you’re correct and it is wrong for a spouse to engage in relations with a contracepting spouse, it is obviously, clearly, objectively VERY different from driving your spouse to an abortion clinic.

It’s comments on CAF like this that make this entire forum poison to people who deal with any form of scruples.
 
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twf said:
Respectfully, that’s why you’re not a confessor. Even if you’re correct and it is wrong for a spouse to engage in relations with a contracepting spouse, it is obviously, clearly, objectively VERY different from driving your spouse to an abortion clinic.
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I was referring to the cooperation, not the sin. In fact I suspect a woman is far more likely to find someone else to drive her to an abortion clinic than someone else to have contracepted sex with.
 
The bottom line is that intentionally engaging in a sexual act that is not ordered to the transmission of life is a sin, period. It doesn’t matter who uses the actual contraception, if the other party is aware, they are cooperating in sin.

Now it may be a difficult situation, especially if the other party is not Catholic. Some might argue that it would be acceptable to use contraception in order to preserve the marriage, for the sake of the children, etc. This is, however, bad advice because it is encouraging committing an act of evil to avoid another (perceived) greater act of evil. This directly contradicts Catholic teaching.

It’s not an easy teaching, but no one ever claimed that doing the right thing would be easy.
 
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I think it is obvious that a spouse who wants to use contraception cannot “make” you do it as well. So the problem arises when the spouse does something to their body or the act that sterilizes it.
I wouldn’t wear a condom because my spouse wanted me to, and I would have serious reservations if our marital act could kill a human…
 
So in the end it seems the consensus on this thread is: depends which priest you ask. Some priests like Fr Z et al will tell you it’s always a mortal sin… others will say its not if the non-contracepting spouse is simply having relations with a spouse who happens to take contraceptive actions.
 
Are the type of Catholics who have a spouse contracepting going to even be hanging around the Fr. Z type of priest?
I realize you can’t control your spouse’s behavior, but a contracepting spouse suggests to me that spouse is either not Catholic or is lukewarm. Neither situation would seem to be the norm in trad circles.
 
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I can give an example: say a wife does not want to use contraception but the husband commits the sin of Onan. It’s not her fault she is not contracepting so she would not have sinned. Now why would she knowingly keep having relations with her husband if he keeps committing the sin of Onan is another story, not sure about this.

For the wife to be using abortifacient contraception and the husband to cooperate with her would be a sin for both since the act could be abortive, and the entire act is contraceptive… Also for the husband to use a condom would be a sin for both husband and wife since the entire act would be contraceptive.
 
So this is my situation right now. I converted to the faith last year and my wife is still non-religious with no real interest in it at all. We have 2 kids right now. I’ve had the discussion of NFP with her a few times, but it never goes well. I’ve brought this up with multiple confessors and all of them have said that I am not complicit in this sin if she absolutely refuses to get off of it. I can still engage in relations with her for the good of the marriage.
It’s lead to a lot of scruples with me, but every time I confess it I am told it is not my sin.
 
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