contraception question

[wonderkid1]

Hi all. I am new to the forum and i hope that am doing this right by asking questions that have not been asked multiple times.

My wife is protestant and I am catholic. We were married in the catholic church about 3 yrs ago. Within the last year or so I have been looking into my religion much closer and I have found that some of the things that I have been doing are morally offensive to God. The biggest is contraception. I brought this issue up to my wife and she was a little taken back by my views and stated that I should not be able to make a decision like this when it affects us both. In the end, she has agreed to practice NFP in the future but not at this very moment. It is not ideal for me, but it is a compromise. What am i suppose to do? Do i with-hold all marrital relations with my wife until she does practice NFP? Do I continue to have relations with my wife but run to confession everytime after? Do I not recieve communion if I dont make it to confession in time?

The next is along the same lines. She says that God did not only make sex for procreation and that any act between a man and his wife is ok even if procreation is not intended. Is this thought correct? She reports that if it wasnt then women past the years of child-bearing should not have sex and that sex would not be pleasurable.

Basically, i am wondering how to be a good husband by not causing strife between my wife and i, but also trying to be a good child in Gods eyes. I love my wife and she is an amazing person. What do i do? What can i say to her?

 

[teachccd]

Yes, this would seem to be a most problematic situation especially since you are finding out all of this after your marriage. It is my understanding that as long as you are not personally artificially contracepting (ie. condom) and your intention is not to contracept then your culpability is diminished. This occurs even within marriages where both are Catholic but not yet on the same page. I would discuss this at your next confession but I would not hold back relations with your wife. Continue to discuss the benefits of NFP and with prayer perhaps she will see things more clearly.

And as far as the second part of your question, again you must realize the sensitivity of this issue in contrast to your relationship just a little bit ago. It takes some time for a couple to come to terms regarding marital intimacy since this is shared by the both of you. There will be resistance at first but with some help she will see the value of upholding what the Church teaches. Sex gives a couple pleasure and that is the gift that accompanies the gift.

So, give yourselves some time and never cease to pray for both of you. Seek the advice of a good confessor and do not give up. She sounds like a great person. She just needs the time to catch up with where you already are. You are in my prayers…teachccd

 

[mark_a]

Hi all. I am new to the forum and i hope that am doing this right by asking questions that have not been asked multiple times.

My wife is protestant and I am catholic. We were married in the catholic church about 3 yrs ago. Within the last year or so I have been looking into my religion much closer and I have found that some of the things that I have been doing are morally offensive to God. The biggest is contraception. I brought this issue up to my wife and she was a little taken back by my views and stated that I should not be able to make a decision like this when it affects us both. In the end, she has agreed to practice NFP in the future but not at this very moment. It is not ideal for me, but it is a compromise. What am i suppose to do? Do i with-hold all marrital relations with my wife until she does practice NFP? Do I continue to have relations with my wife but run to confession everytime after? Do I not recieve communion if I dont make it to confession in time?

The next is along the same lines. She says that God did not only make sex for procreation and that any act between a man and his wife is ok even if procreation is not intended. Is this thought correct? She reports that if it wasnt then women past the years of child-bearing should not have sex and that sex would not be pleasurable.

Basically, i am wondering how to be a good husband by not causing strife between my wife and i, but also trying to be a good child in Gods eyes. I love my wife and she is an amazing person. What do i do? What can i say to her?

Before 1930, no Protestant denomination taught that contraception was ok.

Here’s a link that explains how the Catholic Church has not discarded the Jewish beliefs about marital relations as the Protestants have :
ccli.org/nfp/morality/bible.php

Also, my signature links to an article about how Protestants have come to ignore the historical Jewish/Christian condemnation of contraception.

 

[lada]

I am in a similar situation except that it is my husband who is protestant and had a vasectomy. I have been told that as long as I am open to conceiving, that I am not doing anything wrong.

I certainly would not advise you to hold back sex from your wife. She does have a point…just because you have come to this epiphany doesn’t mean that she should jump right in. I think she will come around, but you owe it to her to give her a little time to absorb it all.