Contraceptives

[Valke2]

Used to, but not anymore.

When I met my DH (then boyfriend) my mom took me to the hosptial for BCP. I was maybe a week or two from turning 16yo and never been with a guy. Talk about giving me permission to have premarital sex!

We weren’t Catholics then…well, in name only.

I was on the pill 10 years until we decided to have children.
After the birth of our child, I found out what BCPs do…abortificient…and decided to never use them again.

Later I found my way home to the CC and agree 100% with the reason behind this teaching.

Believe me, it’s not easy to deal with doctors…yesterday I had an appt & my doctor wants me to have a tubal ligation…and I ONLY have three children (4th coming)!!

I keep flashing on an image of a barn door closing after the horse has left.

 

[Maria3m]

I keep flashing on an image of a barn door closing after the horse has left.

Oh no, Valke! You have to tell me what you mean!
I don’t understand. Did I unknowingly embarrass myself by sharing too much?

OK does it mean that I learned too late? So it doesn’t matter?

You HAVE to tell me what you mean.
I’m spazzing over here. LOL

 

[Valke2]

Oh no, Valke! You have to tell me what you mean!
I don’t understand. Did I unknowingly embarrass myself by sharing too much?

OK does it mean that I learned too late? So it doesn’t matter?

You HAVE to tell me what you mean.
I’m spazzing over here. LOL

I meant that it is easier to adopt a position after you no longer have a need for it.

 

[Maria3m]

I meant that it is easier to adopt a position after you no longer have a need for it.

Why would would you assume that I no longer have a need for it? Did I write something that led you to believe that?

(Not trying to hijack this thread OP…just need clarification on what I said to be told it’s too late now…or especially it’s easier for me now…i don’t need it?

Because I used it in the past…it’s too late to learn and now be open to life? That’s interesting to me. I’d really LOVE to hear if that’s everyone’s position on someone who finally learns the truth about contraceptives…we preach not to use it, prolife, but then tell them too late???)

 

[Maria3m]

Later I found my way home to the CC and agree 100% with the reason behind this teaching.

Believe me, it’s not easy to deal with doctors…yesterday I had an appt & my doctor wants me to have a tubal ligation…and I ONLY have three children (4th coming)!!

Maybe it was this statement that left the impression that I no longer have a need for it. (?) All I wrote was my dr wants me to have one. I told my dr that we are open to life…I’m willing to take what God decides for us. No tubal ligation happening here.
I had to tell the doctor that I don’t care if she won’t do another c-section on me. I don’t care that she wants me to find another doctor who will because she recommends the tubal. I have the need to make some decisions…our baby will be here in under two weeks and I better not get pregnant until I heal well enough to carry another baby…GOD WILLING. None of it’s up to me. God may decide no more children for us.

I’m very firm not to use contraceptives…even with the warnings my doctor won’t do another c-section (she never has actually…it’s all about the number 3) & put into the “advanced maternal age” category. Talk about decisions…I’ve seen at least seven different doctors throughout this pregnancy and they ALL recommend I get on contraceptives or have my tubes tied because they recommend not getting pregnant too soon after a c-section…or they don’t like doing more than three. It’s too much work for them!!!
I enjoy all your posts Valke, but this one makes no sense to me.

How did you come to the decision I have no need & it’s so easy for me now???

No, now is when I have to stand up loud and clear to my doctors that I have made a decision & believe in what my church teaches.

I meant that it is easier to adopt a position after you no longer have a need for it.

easy position, yes, because I believe it’s wrong.

No need far from it.

 

[Maria3m]

who wants to look to the cross when they’re bumping and grinding? When you are making love to your spouse, if you are thinking of the ultimate sacrifice, you got some serious couch time in your future.

I’m sure Donna didn’t mean while your making love with your spouse. These are decisions and discussions that need to take place before you’re in the moment.

 

[Valke2]

Maybe it was this statement that left the impression that I no longer have a need for it. (?) All I wrote was my dr wants me to have one. I told my dr that we are open to life…I’m willing to take what God decides for us. No tubal ligation happening here.
I had to tell the doctor that I don’t care if she won’t do another c-section on me. I don’t care that she wants me to find another doctor who will because she recommends the tubal. I have the need to make some decisions…our baby will be here in under two weeks and I better not get pregnant until I heal well enough to carry another baby…GOD WILLING. None of it’s up to me. God may decide no more children for us.

I’m very firm not to use contraceptives…even with the warnings my doctor won’t do another c-section (she never has actually…it’s all about the number 3) & put into the “advanced maternal age” category. Talk about decisions…I’ve seen at least seven different doctors throughout this pregnancy and they ALL recommend I get on contraceptives or have my tubes tied because they recommend not getting pregnant too soon after a c-section…or they don’t like doing more than three. It’s too much work for them!!!
I enjoy all your posts Valke, but this one makes no sense to me.

How did you come to the decision I have no need & it’s so easy for me now???

No, now is when I have to stand up loud and clear to my doctors that I have made a decision & believe in what my church teaches.

easy position, yes, because I believe it’s wrong.

No need far from it.

I’m just being cranky. I apologize. I’ve never agreed with teh religious position regarding contraception. But I’m finding out that there are times when the entire world simply refuses to agree with me.

Merry Christmas

 

[ScreaminSunshin]

I used any kind of Contraception when I was a heavily lapsed Catholic determined to enjoy illicit pleasures. Now I use absolutely nothing because God holds us in the palm of His hand. If you practice Contraception you practice atheism.

I understand your basis of thinking but I think your choice to use “atheism” is a bit harsh. I answered yes and I do use contraception but I would definitely not consider myself an atheist nor would I consider sexual intercourse with my husband while using contraceptives “illicit behavior”. I have 3 beautiful children and I value them very much. I choose to use contraceptives to ensure that I do not burden my life with more responsibility than I can handle. This is a benefit for my children. I do not consider it a negative choice.

 

[kim3260]

I understand your basis of thinking but I think your choice to use “atheism” is a bit harsh. I answered yes and I do use contraception but I would definitely not consider myself an atheist nor would I consider sexual intercourse with my husband while using contraceptives “illicit behavior”. I have 3 beautiful children and I value them very much. I choose to use contraceptives to ensure that I do not burden my life with more responsibility than I can handle. This is a benefit for my children. I do not consider it a negative choice.

I have to disagree with you on this point. Using contraceptions is gravely against the Church’s Teachings. I know you want the best for your children, but God never gives us more then we can handle.

 

[puzzleannie]

isn’t soliciting this kind of personal info against forum rules?

 

[ScreaminSunshin]

I have to disagree with you on this point. Using contraceptions is gravely against the Church’s Teachings. I know you want the best for your children, but God never gives us more then we can handle.

Unfortunately this is a point that causes me so much distress. I do not want to choose to disobey the Church’s teachings but I honestly feel that God gave me the capacity to make choices both beneficial and detrimental. Although I have faith that God is there for me… I feel that God has bestowed upon me the duty to make choices and act responsibly. I equate your thinking to this example; I choose not to wear my seatbelt when I drive because God will watch over me and if it’s my time to go then I will have courage to accept God’s plan… it’s a beautiful thought but gravely irresponsible.

 

[Maria3m]

isn’t soliciting this kind of personal info against forum rules?

How so? I just read the forum rules & the only personal info not allowed posted is address & phone number.
That’s understandable for safety reasons.

 

[Maria3m]

I’m just being cranky. I apologize. I’ve never agreed with teh religious position regarding contraception. But I’m finding out that there are times when the entire world simply refuses to agree with me.

I’d like to apologize as well for being overly sensitive and taking your posts too personal.

I understand if you disagree with the teaching regarding contraception. Let me just mention one last thing…it was a decision I made before knowing any religious teaching.
It was just natural that when I learned about the teachings of the church I didn’t have a problem with it.

 

[Valke2]

I have to disagree with you on this point. Using contraceptions is gravely against the Church’s Teachings. I know you want the best for your children, but God never gives us more then we can handle.

BUt life isn’t about being as miserable as you can possible be and still surviving, putting aside the argument that it thousands and thousands choose suicide over life all the time, indicate that they have been given more than they could handle.

 

[Valke2]

I’d like to apologize as well for being overly sensitive and taking your posts too personal.

I understand if you disagree with the teaching regarding contraception. Let me just mention one last thing…it was a decision I made before knowing any religious teaching.
It was just natural that when I learned about the teachings of the church I didn’t have a problem with it.

Got it. That was not how I read your original post., Thank you for clarifying.

My belief is that whether to use contraception or not is a personal decision. ANd whether one bases that decision on religious or secular beliefs is not important. In other words, I don’t make a moral judgment on the issue of contraception.

 

[kim3260]

BUt life isn’t about being as miserable as you can possible be and still surviving, putting aside the argument that it thousands and thousands choose suicide over life all the time, indicate that they have been given more than they could handle.

Who said having children is being miserable? I stand by what I said, God never gives us more than we can handle. Maybe he will not let us have that nicer home in the subdivision in town, vacation or nice car. but The Church’s Teaching are plain and simple concering the use of Contraceptives.
I don’t want to personalize this but I feel I must prove my earlier statement. I have 5 children, born “back to back” in 1991 (when #5 was a little over a year old) an accident rendered my husband sterile, he was/is still unable to walk unassisted. (uses a cane now) Tell me a strong vitial farmer with 5 children doesn’t find that hard to handle? It was hard but I put my Faith in God and today we are barely “making it” by but we are far from miserable.

 

[Valke2]

But you and your family are not the world. It is obvious that you have not been given more than you can handle. But that doesn’t mean other’s haven’t.

 

[kim3260]

But you and your family are not the world. It is obvious that you have not been given more than you can handle. But that doesn’t mean other’s haven’t.

Of course we are not the world, my hardships are nothing compared to the suffering of many of our fellow man, but to go against the Church’s teachings because we can’t handle it is a slap in the face for Jesus. He died for our Sins, a horrific death. What if He said, “Gee, I can’t handle this?” The suffeings we endure in this world bring us closer to God. It is wrong plain and simple to use contracepetives.

 

[katy]

Spacing or limiting the number of children has gotten confused with using contraception here. Using contraception doesn’t necessarily mean there will be no more children. I know this from my own and many other’s experiences. The pressure to abort after becoming pregnant while using contraceptives can be phenomenal. I have known women who have become pregnant while using almost everything, including tubal ligation. I wish I had done it the Church’s way, but it was not presented to me when I came into the Church. Thank God I did not have an abortion, but I can understand most of the feelings that women have.

 

[Julianna]

Got it. That was not how I read your original post., Thank you for clarifying.

My belief is that whether to use contraception or not is a personal decision. ANd whether one bases that decision on religious or secular beliefs is not important. In other words, I don’t make a moral judgment on the issue of contraception.

Makes perfect sense to me. I had 2 c sections, and gestational diabetes. It was recommended that I not have more children. I had my appendix out in my 6 month of pregnancy with my son. When i had my daughter 21 months later, the doctor had a heart to heart talk with me… I could not take the pill because it messed with my head. So we used an alternative method. Five years down the road…after my husband has a vasectomy…I thought I was pregnant in March of 91. Abortiona was absolutely out of the question. Turns out I had a perfectly semetrical fibroid tumor in my uterus. The doctor gave me two choices, 1- he could scrape it out with the possiblity of it growing back or 2- I could have a hystercomy (leave the ovaries) and end that possiblity. Needles to say my husband wasn’t thrilled after going through his “surgery” the prior November. I opted for the hysterectomy…and haven’t looked back.

Now…did you all know that in coming years, it will part of all females mandatory shots starting at age 11 to receive the Gardasil innoculation to prevent HPV? Yessereee…it has been discovered that the HPV is caused from sexual activity and multiple partners. Although a virgin who has been with a man or visa versa (woman)…can get HPV (if she or he has been with someone who has it) which can lead to cervical cancer> the cost of the shot is 800 dollars. My daughter (age 21) will be getting the shot. And the doctor informed us it will be mandatory for all females age 10-11 as a routine.

I truly believe this is a wake up call for pre martial bed hopping and extra marital bed hopping.