You can always give your resume and maybe a CD of sampler music of you to parishes and your diocesan office.
As a music director at a church, I am the default for weddings and funerals at my parish, and I need all the gigs I can get. I’ve had a few resumes sent to me and they sit in a file.
There may be a time when I am booked already somewhere else and I can pass on the name to a couple who may not have anyone in mind. I tell them that I dont know personally of their ability.
Jennifer, I don’t think its too far off topic and I hope this thread is useful background. Agapewolf’s suggestion is a good one and one way to ease into it - set up contacts who can refer you when they’re already booked. Where a parish doesn’t have a director or lead musician, talk to parish office staff, who often keep names on file. Becoming a cantor at your parish (if you aren’t already) is a good way to build a reputation and to attract the best customers. Being available for parish funerals is also good “exposure” and gets you known to priests who might recommend you. Funeral directors are often very happy to have competent church musicians’ details at hand for when parishes can’t supply their own.
CDs and a CV are an excellent ideas. If you can’t record, offer to “audition” for the potential recommender, which allows you to demonstrate your liturgical awareness as well. FWIW, before I recommend anyone, I need to know their proficiency (can they learn from sheet music the day before or do I keep them on the jobs-with-more-notice list?) and what style(s) suit (can they pull off “Hail the Bright Seraphim”, are they happier with congregational leading and psalms or can they do both?). I also need to know someone is personally reliable and won’t do anything that reflects badly on me for having recommended them.
If I pass on details of people I don’t know, like Agapewolf I make it plain it’s not a recommendation as such and caveat emptor applies.
I’d suggest you have a handout ready with your CV, sample repertoire, fees and policies and a nice recent photo. The info should be slanted towards the of work you want - just church work, or church and secular covered in separate blurbs. Lots of couples want to hear a recording so a track or two on CD is a good idea if its feasible. (Don’t fall into the “oh, it’s only a demo tape” trap - a ratty demo loses you work faster than anything else.) A simple business card is essential and the wording on it should also reflect the work you want.
When booked as a singer, people often expect you to bring an accompanist or at least provide suggestions. Build up a dossier of names you are willing to work with and get to know how much notice they need for new stuff or whether they can sight-read.
I include the background reading given above in my handout because many couples aren’t church-literate, don’t know their celebrant personally and sometimes I see them before he does so it’s the first “catechesis” they get. That sort of thing is at your discretion, of course.
Whether it takes a lot of time depends on how flexible you want to be. You can say, “here’s my repertoire” and stick to it, decide you won’t travel further than X miles and only work with known accompanists so you don’t need rehearsals. You can withhold commitment till after your interview and only go ahead with church-going couples. You can decide whether you’ll learn new material at short notice or whether you fix the programme in stone X weeks before the event and charge like the light brigade for changes after that, or just say no. The biggest time problems seem to occur when we get slurped into issues that aren’t our problem, because of the emotions surrounding the event and sympathy for a couple having hassles. It helps to know where your boundaries are. I use the bank teller or supermarket model as a reality check - the priest is the manager, I’m the telleror checkout person, the bride/groom is the customer, is what they’ve just asked reasonable or have they forgotten I have no emotional investment in their big day and I am here to provide a paid service?