Contradiction between Matthew 6:15 and Confession?

[DrawNearToGod]

Matthew 6:15

but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (RSVCE)

If I get my sins absolved by a priest but do not forgive my father for something, is the confession effective?

 

[Vico]

Matthew 6:15

but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (RSVCE)

God forgives the guilt of all those that repent and confess.

The example means not to seek revenge, rather, to love your enemies.

Sometimes justice demands that the wronged be defended, but that is not from hate.

Also see the Gospel of Luke 7, 41 and Matthew 18, 21-35.

Matthew 18

32 Then his lord called him; and said to him: Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all the debt, because thou besoughtest me: 33 Shouldst not thou then have had compassion also on thy fellow servant, even as I had compassion on thee? 34 And his lord being angry, delivered him to the torturers until he paid all the debt. 35 So also shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.

 

[BT3241]

You over looked the beginning of it

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

 

[Thom18]

Matthew 6:15

but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (RSVCE)

Your sins are only absolved if they are forgiven, and Jesus here says that one cannot receive forgiveness if they themselves will not forgive.

True repentance is a turning away from all of our sins because they offend Him. If we repent of a few sins, but not a certain particular sin (in this case, withholding our own forgiveness from someone), then we do not understand the nature of repentance and have not done so.

Catechism 1431 says, “Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time it entails the desire and resolution to change one’s life, with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Fathers called animi cruciatus (affliction of spirit) and compunctio cordis (repentance of heart)”

It’s not enough to apologize to God for refusing someone forgiveness, either. You must have repugnance towards that fault of yours, and resolve to change your life. That means working at finally finding it in your heart to forgive.

 

[BT3241]

Some people think forgiveness is for the other person - its not. You forgive people so you can heal from the damage done - when you refuse to accept an apology from an offender if they are serious you can never heal from the damage when you forgive you let it go. Holding resentment is like a cancer in you it eats you up and can make you miserable and there is only one cure. You know what it is.

 

[Wm777]

Matthew 6:15

but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (RSVCE)

Instead of visiting a web forum… why not ask the Priest who absolved you?

Spiritual direction is usually a part of confession…

I’m not saying any of these posts are wrong. There’s good stuff to learn here, but this is still just an internet forum, and some topics can entertain ideas which correspondents may be unaware of…

Real time discussion in the privacy and sanctity of a confessional night help answer your questions according to what is most relevant…

 

[Maximus1]

I don’t see repentance as what God seeks here. God wants person A to forgive person B. Then God will forgive person A.( This is 6:14). 6:15 involves not forgiving and consequent not being forgiven. It is a transactional idea. The transaction does not really seem to invoke repentance. And the OP point is interesting because of 14 and 15.

 

[Wm777]

Some people think forgiveness is for the other person - its not.

In a truly peaceable and resolved situation, forgiveness is for everyone - including God… If there wasn’t an objective witness to observe the resolution, the situation would just keep repeating itself… Christ’s life and teachings make it completely evident he forgave many of those who offended him in order to save souls, including (and perhaps especially) the offenders. It’s true that Christ did so because he wanted to establish peace, but - if it was “humanly” one-sided - it wouldn’t work. The remedy has to be universal.

Look at convicted prisoners, who blame guards for their problems, and perhaps rightly sometimes… such people think they are right about something, so its as if they think they can do no wrong in being oppositional… they “forgive” themselves… but, if they then resist, they only dig themselves in deeper trouble… In reality, everyone has to deal with the consequences… Innocent taxpayers, for instance, pay for the judicial and legal systems to keep everyone accountable and in-check… for they too may one day have to fall back upon such services themselves - one way or another… The same is true of God - who’s mercy shines on all… He sees the innocent; He sees the offender… I tend to think He’s most interested in the remedy, His Only Son, who reconciles the world to Himself…

Its kind of late and has been a long (good) day, and I’'m kind of tired, so this may not make much sense… but I hope it helps bring some peace to the OP… God probably understand their anger as a normal part of the grieving process, but God also knows human limits; and, maybe, God willing - when the time is right - things will somehow work out for the best for everyone… Perhaps they can’t forgive the person, but - if they can’t - God knows why… and He will take care of each according to His mercy…

 

[TheLittleLady]

Hating another person, refusing to forgive them, is a sin. Your culpability for that sin may be lessened if you did not know it was sinful. Since you know it is sinful, confess that you have been unforgiving.