Convalidation help needed

[needanswers777]

Hi i’m 26 years old and i was born into a catholic family, but as i got older my family became apart from the church. For some reason i always believed that one day i was going to make my 1st communion and confirmation well the time has come and i will be completing my classes in May 2009. The problem that i have is that I married through the civil court and I didnt know that if i did this i could never have the wedding that i always dreamed when i was younger. I always dreamed of having my white dress and all my bridesmaids and the whole thing. I recently found out that it wont be possible That i can only get a blessing and that the church wont allow me to have the wedding i always wanted. Is this true. Has anyone ever been in a situation like mine. Now i feel like i have made a huge mistake. The reason why i got married through the civil court was because of Immigration Problems. If any one can answer this question and help me i really appreciate the answers. Basically i just want to know if i have a chance to make my dream come true. A blessing is a great thing and if that is my only option I’m defenitely going to take it. But i was just wondering. Thank you. My Husband is catholic and he wasnt aware of this either. He tought that we could have our church wedding later. I guess this is what happens when we dont attend mass regularly and dont get informed regarding our faith and its rules.

 

[Phemie]

Who told you you couldn’t have the wedding of your dreams? If it wasn’t your priest, don’t let another minute go by without asking HIM.

A convalidation can be as simple as you and your husband repeating your vows in front of the priest and two witnesses or much more elaborate. What could be a happier occasion than two Catholics coming back to Mother Church to get married validly?

 

[puzzleannie]

speak to your priest, not to a secretary or anyone else about your marriage situation. explain the background, that your intent was not to evade or disregard Catholic teaching on marriage. There is no canon law reason you can have as an elaborate ceremony as you wish, although it is true that for many couples that might not be in the best of taste, but it depends on circumstances, local custom and other factors.

Do realize however that the dress, flowers, reception etc are not essential to a Catholic marriage, and if your convalidation does not include any of that, you have not been shortchanged in any way, you have the gift of the immense blessings of this sacrament and unite you and your spouse with Christ. all other considerations pale in significance to that.

be prepared for great power and blessing for your family as you are showered with the grace of Christ in your communion and confirmation as well. I see this every year and it is the best part of my job. You are also gaining great treasures to hand on to your children, and I know from experience you will be among the best parents when it comes to seeing your children are taught their faith properly.

 

[DavidFilmer]

Has anyone ever been in a situation like mine?

Sure. In fact, your situation is the rule of law in many nations. For example, in Germany, marriage law *requires *a civil “ceremony.” Catholics (and protestants, Muslims, etc) may elect to have a subsequent religious ceremony, but that is not recognized in any way by the German government (whereas, in the US, priests and ministers are sanctioned Peace Officers and may perform religious ceremonies with legal standing - German priests have no such legal standing).

Catholic Canon Law requires that the Church respect marriage laws of the governing authority except whereas those laws are directly contrary to reasonable liberty. So each and every Catholic citizen of Germany who wants to marry is in the exact same situation that you are in - they must first marry “legally” and then seek the blessing of the Church. They (and you) are free to have the exact same ceremony, with as much “pomp and circumstance” as they (or you) please (after all, Canon Law is the same for everybody).

But, IMHO, I think a fancy wedding is completely silly. But the Church won’t prevent you from having a silly ceremony if that’s what you really want.