Convalidation Help

[Miserissima]

(Dear Moderator; if this is supposed to go in the Liturgy and Sacraments thread, please move it. I was hoping I’d get more of a warm respons here.)

I have read both lenghty articles and short blogs, Q&As and outines. But I meed a more “personal” touch. I would request a quasi-private mentor from CAF who has been through this to hold my hand to go through the steps of getting my marriage convalidated.

Him: Baptized Lutheran, non practicing, his family is Buddhist

Me: Baptized practicing Catholic (especially when he’s deployed I go to confession and can have a “Catholic” life again.)

Neither of us have any chldren either from before or our marriage now. Neither of us was married before. No kids outisde of wedlock, either.

We’ve found the church where in which we would like to have our marraige convalidated. I have re gistered us there. Do we talk to the priest first, or do we start gathering paperwork?

Do I call the rectory where I had my baptism certificate sent when I was confirmed, or do I just call my old rectory where I was baptized?

Then do I call his old Lutheran vicarage (?) and start asking for originals to be se sent to the rectory (because I doubt they’d send originals to me)?

I have a thousand other questions, and again, I am looking for someone to be my mentor, preferably in PM, who has gone through this already, step by step - not a hundred posts that say, “That’s why you shouldn’t have married outside of the church!” or simply linking me to articles. I need the “personal touch” on this one.

Thank you!

(and please forgive me, I am typing wihtout my glases this morning)

 

[BeeSweet]

I just PM’d you.

You do really well typing without your glasses. I wouldn’t even be able to see the keyboard, let alone the computer screen!

 

[puzzleannie]

take this as an answer you might get if you phoned the parish office this morning:
make an appointment to see the priest, by yourself if your partner is out of the area. If you are on base that will be the Catholic chaplain, if in a regular parish, your pastor. he may delegate a deacon to do your preparation, which is not a bad thing, since he may actually have more time to spend with you.

You will need a recent (within 6 months) baptismal cert. showing all sacraments received. for that you call the parish where you were baptized and ask them to send it to the attention of the priest or deacon. they may ask a small fee $5 or so, send a check. For someone baptized in a non-Catholic denom, call the office of that church and request a record of baptism sent to the pastor. Make a copy of each for your records, for marriage the parish will keep the originals in your (confidential) file. Bring your civil marriage license showing date of marriage. Does not apply to you, but if it did, bring along marriage and divorce papers, and baptismal info for ex.

You do not have to have this paperwork in hand to make the initiatl contact and interview and start preparing. Make sure the priest knows you husband’s possible dates of deployment, since pastors are instructed to do everything possible to accommodate those in active military service.

You will then be referred to some formal preparation course, depending on length of time married, whether or not you have children etc., so it will be tailored as much as possible to your needs, and may include a retreat day or weekend. The purpose will be to ascertain any issues that should be resolved first, and whether the conditions and disposition for valid marriage are present in your situation and in the intent of both parties.

This generally takes less time than for a newly engaged couple, but if there are issues, may take longer, no way to say. You will be required, as the Catholic partner, to promise to raise the children Catholic, your partner must be informed of your obligation, and the priest will apply for the necessary dispensation, which is why your partner must be involved, because they need to determine what is his actual religion. You must both be willing to promise and undertake all that Catholic marriage demands, fidelity, openness to life etc.

If you have never been confirmed or made first communion you can prepare for those sacraments at the same time, and receive them when your marriage has been convalidated. that might entail another class, meeting at another time with another teacher, but well worth it since you will be restored to full participation in the sacramental life of the Church and her graces through Christ her founder and head. I am giving more info than OP asked for in case others have questions as well.

hopefully during this time you will be assigned a sponsor couple who will provide the mentoring you wisely seek, but I am sure there are so many here who have gone the same path who will jump in to help.