Convalidation Question

[brshooter]

My wife and I were received into the Catholic Church over the Easter Vigil. My wife was baptised in the Catholic Church, but was never confirmed. I was baptised in the Methodist Church.

The way I understand it, we need to have our marriage convalidated. We were initially going to wait for our anniversay (our 20th) in a couple of months to do this. I misinterpeted some information and didn’t realize that we needed to do this asap. So we plan to put this on the fast track. We have a meeting with our Priest next week. He has been out of town since Easter.

The way I understand it is that until we get our marriage convalidated, we are living in sin and cannot receive Holy Communion until that status changes. Is it the fact that we are in a civil marriage only that takes us out of communion with the Church? What if we are not intimate until this is resolved? Does that change anything?

Sorry for the lack of knowledge. Just trying to make things right.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

This should have been explained to you in the process of preparation for being received into the Church. I’m sorry to hear that it wasn’t. In fact, it is usually better to get all the irregular marriage issues taken care of BEFORE being received into the Church.

The reason you can’t receive Communion is that a Catholic is required to marry in the Catholic Church. Assuming one of you was Catholic at the time of your civil marriage, your marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Church (and God), i.e., you are not really married. Intimate relations between unmarried persons is objectively a serious sin (mortal sin if you do it with knowledge and consent). We cannot receive Communion in the state of mortal sin.

Assuming that this is the first marriage for both of you, convalidation should be a simple matter. If one or both of you was previously married, you will probably need to seek an annulment(s). That may take some time.

Once you and your spouse have made good confessions (this too should have been part of your preparation for being received into the Church) and the convalidation has been completed, you then will be able to receive Communion.

Your pastor is in the best position to advise you. It is good that you are making plans to do that. God bless you!

 

[brshooter]

Thanks for the reply.

This was the first marriage for both of us. I too wish it had been better explained. Oh well. We just want to make it right.

We both did confessions prior to coming into the Church. Even went to confession again on Sunday evening at the Divine Mercy service at our parish.

The Sacraments are so very important to us. I would never think of receiving in the state of mortal sin. If we are not intimate between now and the time in which our marriage is convalidated, can we still receive?

 

[Phemie]

Unless I totally misunderstood what you wrote in your original post, your wife wasn’t received in the Church at the Easter Vigil. That happened when she was baptized. Her confirmation simply completed her sacraments of initiation. You OTOH, were received into full communion.

Because she was Catholic, she had to marry in the Church or obtain a dispensation to marry outside of it. That means that your marriage is not valid, something you need to remedy ASAP. That means repeating your vows in front of a priest and two witnesses. In the meantime you should be living as brother and sister.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My wife and I were received into the Catholic Church over the Easter Vigil. My wife was baptised in the Catholic Church, but was never confirmed. I was baptised in the Methodist Church.

The way I understand it, we need to have our marriage convalidated. We were initially going to wait for our anniversay (our 20th) in a couple of months to do this. I misinterpeted some information and didn’t realize that we needed to do this asap. So we plan to put this on the fast track. We have a meeting with our Priest next week. He has been out of town since Easter.

The way I understand it is that until we get our marriage convalidated, we are living in sin and cannot receive Holy Communion until that status changes. Is it the fact that we are in a civil marriage only that takes us out of communion with the Church? What if we are not intimate until this is resolved? Does that change anything?

Sorry for the lack of knowledge. Just trying to make things right.

Yes, just behaive as though you are not Married. The problem is that she was required to Marry in the Catholic Church according to Catholic Canon Law. This is the only Marriage for both of you? Did she speak with her pastor and receive her Bishop’s permission to Marry a non-Catholic by chance?

I ask because sometimes the RCIA people can mis-inform thinking that a Marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christan is somehow automatically in need of convalidation.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thanks for the reply.

This was the first marriage for both of us. I too wish it had been better explained. Oh well. We just want to make it right.

We both did confessions prior to coming into the Church. Even went to confession again on Sunday evening at the Divine Mercy service at our parish.

The Sacraments are so very important to us. I would never think of receiving in the state of mortal sin. If we are not intimate between now and the time in which our marriage is convalidated, can we still receive?

It’s possible, speak with your pastor.

 

[brshooter]

Thanks for the replies. I am going to call in the morning to see if our Pastor is back in town, or perhaps speak with our Parochial Vicar regarding this matter. I would very much like to receive on Sunday.
My being received into, and my wife’s return to, the Church has been a very special experience for us. I feel so lucky to have a wife to share this journey with. While we have been married for 20 years, I look forward to adding The Lord in our marriage in the very near future. That will be a very special moment for us.