Convalidation - Who to invite protocol

[BK16]

Good day,

My husband and I were married outside the church for a variety of reasons. We have been married almost 4 years and trying to have our marriage convalidated but severe illness of children and his military deployments have been preventing our convalidation happening in a timely manner. We finally have a date set. We were hoping for a small intimate gathering (as we already had the big legal everyone could attend before his deployment). I have read protocols for hand written invites instead of big formal ones and also attire not being white or too dressy. The difficulty we keep running into is the size of our family. Even with just inviting immediate family we are at 30 people!

Is there a protocol for inviting out of town family? I guess my question is I don’t want people who are out of town to feel obligated to have the expense of making the trip (also his family is not Catholic).

Advice?

Thank you.

 

[1ke]

There is no protocol. Do as you wish.

 

[fencersmother]

Invite whomever you’d like, but you might like to let them know that a gift is not expected or anticipated since you’ve already had the big doings.

I would think “not dressy” wouldn’t apply… wear your best best Sunday best! Dress up the kids! Maybe your white gown is no longer appropriate but certainly your best dressy clothing is!

Congratulations and may your family always be blessed.

 

[maryjk]

I wore my wedding dress. Heck, I was getting married, why wouldn’t I?

My husband wore a suit, as did our son.

My “maid of honor” wore a tea length dress. Our “best man” wore a suit.

Everyone else wore wedding clothes. Again, I was getting married, why wouldn’t they.

I invited family and close, Catholic friends. Our group ended up being pretty small. We both come from small families. But the priest told me I could invite whomever I wanted.

I wouldn’t mention gifts. If someone asks, feel free to say how you feel. But I would hesitate to tell someone that wants to get you something, that they shouldn’t.

 

[SMHW]

Good day,

My husband and I were married outside the church for a variety of reasons. We have been married almost 4 years and trying to have our marriage convalidated but severe illness of children and his military deployments have been preventing our convalidation happening in a timely manner. We finally have a date set. We were hoping for a small intimate gathering (as we already had the big legal everyone could attend before his deployment). I have read protocols for hand written invites instead of big formal ones and also attire not being white or too dressy. The difficulty we keep running into is the size of our family. Even with just inviting immediate family we are at 30 people!

Is there a protocol for inviting out of town family? I guess my question is I don’t want people who are out of town to feel obligated to have the expense of making the trip (also his family is not Catholic).

Advice?

Thank you.

There is no (universal) protocol. I would be inclined to invite those share your viewpoint on the importance of the convalidation. Invite or send announcements to those who consider a “Church wedding” to be “THE” wedding.

If you don’t wish those who are out of town to feel some sort of obligation to attend or send a gift then maybe you could come up with some sort of announcement that requests people’s prayers and wishes for blessings on your marriage.

 

[BK16]

“If you don’t wish those who are out of town to feel some sort of obligation to attend or send a gift then maybe you could come up with some sort of announcement that requests people’s prayers and wishes for blessings on your marriage.”

What an absolutely beautiful idea. I love it. It is inclusive without making someone feel obligated to attend. Thank you so much.

Thank you everyone who has helped with providing information. My husband and I both had furniture and items when we did get married so we actually didn’t ask for gifts the first time around either. I figure that it is wonderful to have everyone celebrate, that is the best gift. We will, however, have a color scheme that everyone is able to participate in. I found it makes for wonderful pictures and allows everyone to feel part of the celebration.

Thanks again everyone!