Conversion and the sacraments?

[Jacdee]

Hi everyone, I hope someone can help.
Briefly…married and had 4 children within our faith. After his death at 40, I was blessed to meet a man who not only wanted me in his life but to be a father to my children. Though a Christian (divorced) he is not catholic and rather than living together, we married in a civil ceremony. I do not present myself for communion. Nearing the end of the RCIA programme, my husband is due to receive the sacraments at Easter. I am however extremely confused…how will he be able to receive communion and I remain unable to.
Thanks a million.

 

[1ke]

That is a puzzle indeed. Sounds like there is some missing information.

Has your husband applied for and received a decree of nullity? Do you and he have a convalidation of your marriage scheduled with your pastor before he receives the sacraments at Easter?

It is possible that the RCIA coordinator dropped the ball regarding his marriage situation and did not direct him to your pastor to complete the steps necessary for a decree of nullity and convalidation (presuming grounds for a decree of nullity exist).

So, the first step would be for you and your husband to schedule a meeting with your pastor and lay out all the facts.

His entry into the Church may need to be delayed if his marriage situation hasn’t been dealt with.

 

[Jacdee]

Thank you so much, I hope you can help me further…

That is a puzzle indeed. Sounds like there is some missing information.

Has your husband applied for and received a decree of nullity?
This has never been mentioned to us, i have no idea what it means!

Do you and he have a convalidation of your marriage scheduled with your pastor before he receives the sacraments at Easter?
None what so ever…again has never been mentioned, his sacraments are scheduled though?

It is possible that the RCIA coordinator dropped the ball regarding his marriage situation and did not direct him to your pastor to complete the steps necessary for a decree of nullity and convalidation (presuming grounds for a decree of nullity exist).
RCIA programme between our parish priest and co ordinator? They are both fully aware of our domestic situation?

So, the first step would be for you and your husband to schedule a meeting with your pastor and lay out all the facts.
Parish priest is a close family friend and has guided me through numerous trials in my life.

His entry into the Church may need to be delayed if his marriage situation hasn’t been dealt with.
His previous marriage or his current one to me?

I am so sorry

 

[1ke]

Make an appointment to talk to your pastor. Before he can enter the Church and you can resume the Sacraments, the irregular marriage situation must be dealt with.

He was not free to marry you, he is considered married to his first wife until/unless the Church makes a finding that that marriage was not valid for some reason. This is called a declaration of nullity.

After he has been deemed free to marry, then the two of you can convalidate your marriage (get married validly in the Church). Then you will both be free to receive the sacraments.

You married civilly because you knew you could not marry in the Church-- the better path would have been for you two to deal with this situation through the Church at that time, before you married at all.

That is water under the bridge at this point, but you still must deal with the situation.

It is also possible if your husband is unbaptized that something called the Pauline or Petrine Privilege would be used to dissolve his first marrriage, making your marriage valid. HOWEVER, that also requires paperwork.

So, the best advice we can offer here is that the two of you make an appointment with your pastor ASAP. Not sure why the RCIA coordinator and pastor failed to address this, but it must be dealt with. The sooner the better.

 

[Jacdee]

Thank you and yes my husband is currently unbaptised.

This has caused me enormous anxiety, I wanted security for my children, the conflicts with the teachings of our church have left me with deep confusion and frustration.

 

[Jacdee]

Is it possible for my husband to convert without blessing of our vows

 

[1ke]

Thank you and yes my husband is currently unbaptised.

Then perhaps your pastor has discussed something with your husband you aren’t aware of.

This has caused me enormous anxiety, I wanted security for my children, the conflicts with the teachings of our church have left me with deep confusion and frustration.

Go talk to your pastor. You will only have more anxiety by continuing to post here. You and your husband simply need to lay out all the facts and your pastor will guide you through what must be done for your marriage situation to be rectified and your husband to join the Church.

 

[1ke]

Is it possible for my husband to convert without blessing of our vows

The irregular marriage situation would need to be taken care of before your husband receives the sacraments.

Please go talk to your pastor.

 

[Jacdee]

Thank you so much. Gods blessings x