Conversion - - do I have to wait until I've overcome every single doubt?

[MrsHall]

For over a decade, I’ve felt a strong pull to Catholicism. Too timid to attend Mass (in case I didn’t know when to knee/stand, etc), I first started visiting Catholic churches to pray, then worked up to Eucharistic adoration. Finally, I purchased a missal and attended my first Mass at Easter this year - - and I’ve been attending regularly since. (I love attending Mass and I love adoration - - I often feel like I wish there was more time to devote to these things instead of having a career.)

For years I’ve been a Catholic sympathizer and read theology for fun. I was raised Baptist and have been a practicing Christian since childhood. I went into Anglicanism last year and probably would’ve been content there if it weren’t for the lack of apostolic succession and the heretical views that have infiltrated the Anglican Communion (but I suppose that’s just an excellent example of why we need a Magisterium).

So here’s my question: In my heart, I want to convert and be able to receive my Lord in the Eucharist, but my head is getting in the way. Because of some influences from my past (think Jack Chick, John MacArthur, etc), I’m still not 100% comfortable on two main issues: devotion to Mary and indulgences regarding souls in purgatory. Must I wait to convert until I have settled every single one of my doubts on these issues?

I haven’t talked to the parish priest yet because I don’t want to offend him by questioning these things. I’ve started praying the Rosary daily but I’m not really comfortable. I’ve got a lot of fear, I guess. However, I’m reading and ordering tons of books (Hahn, Madrid, etc) and listening to EWTN Radio a lot.

I do not have time to read all the replies so maybe I am just repeating what has already been said. Our family of 8 was received into the Church on Pentecost Sunday of this year (May 31). We hemmed and hawed for a couple of years before finally taking the plunge. I have no regrets, except for the hemming and hawing. If you believe the Catholic Church is the very Church Jesus started then you owe it to Him to reconcile yourself to Her. I too considered myself a “Catholic Sympathizer,” even while attending an anti-Catholic Baptist church.

I encourage you to speak with the priest. Our priest has become a friend, a part of our family. He is also our “Persona Christi” and no one to be afraid of offending! Jesus already knows your questions.

Personally, I had a lot of “But what about this…” type issues until we decided to do it. Then I had peace. I feel the devil was using his same-old, same-old tactics that he’s been using since Eve (sneaky little questions!) but once we made that decision it all stopped. It came to a place where we either believed the Church was HIS Church, or it wasn’t. When I knew I could never go back to being a Protestant again, the decision made itself. Again, I have no regrets. I love the Church and the Faith more and more. I felt indifference (though certainly a distant admiration) toward Our Lady before receiving the Eucharist, and now I can only describe my feelings for her as love. She’s my Mother and I love her. It just happened, and it’s rather indescribable.

Don’t be afraid. Those Jack Chick/John MacArthur types think they’re doing God’s will so they mean well. But frankly, they’re wrong. They have believed wacky conspiracy theories in advance of learning the facts for themselves. They don’t know the Church, the Mass or the Faith—they only know crazy caricatures that anyone would be afraid of. The problem is, the Catholicism of Jack Chick doesn’t exist. You know that for yourself.

God bless you.

 

[legaleagle]

Thanks Tomb54 for this comment:

To me you sound ready but looking at 2 things might help. I have been a Catholic for over 50 years and at time my faith is still weak and I have doubts. During these times I pray and I usually get the help I need. 2nd look how long it took for the Apostles to fully believe without doubt and Jesus was living right with them. Blessed are those who believe who have not seen

And thanks to all of you for your comments - - you are really helping me with this.

Mrs. Hall, you have said exactly what I’ve been feeling:

When I knew I could never go back to being a Protestant again, the decision made itself.

I can’t see myself going back to the Protestant church because of a couple of things: unity – what’s with the 30,000 plus denominations today??? And if the Catholic Church is not the true Church founded by Jesus then that would mean that we choose our church based on preferences like how we choose a radio station or something – and I can’t believe that Jesus intended for that to happen.

I think I know what I have to do and prayer will help me conquer the fears. I’ve already found myself defending the Church to a couple of fundamentalist relatives (it didn’t go too well but I tried).

Thank you again to everyone - - you are doing a wonderful Christian service in your comments. I am excitedly waiting for a shipment of books this week from various authors: Hahn, Karl Keating and other conversion stories. I will have to go see my priest and then it will be interesting to see what the whole process involves. I was wondering, for those who were received into the Church, I’m assuming that’s when you received your first Communion, but what about confirmation - - were you confirmed then, or at a later date?

Blessings to you all.

 

[Upbeat_Dad]

If, as you say, your desire to convert is truly in your heart, then that is all that is necessary. That desire is there because the Holy Spirit wants it that way. That does not mean every kind of doubt lingering in your mind will automatically go away. That’s okay, pursue your conversion anyway. Recall the first words of Jesus’ earthly ministry in the Gospel of Mark. Paraphrased, he says accept the Gospel and be converted, he does not say, accept the Gospel and be converted, but only after you are perfect in your faith and have no shortcomings or doubts. No. Conversion is a lifelong process, not a one-time destination. Begin the process, and let God move you along. We need only ask for the grace to believe, for the gift of greater faith, and it will be given to us in a manner that God deems most appropriate for each individual. This is Christ’s promise to us (cf. Matthew 7:7-11).

I am currently working my way through Benedict XVI’s book “Introduction to Christianity.” In the first chapter, he has some very intellectually honest things to say about the inescapability of doubt and the role it plays in the life of the believer, particularly in the modern scientific age. In a nutshell, he says that doubt is an unavoidable aspect of faith, for faith is ultimately not about certainty, but rather it is about believing in the midst of uncertainty. Thus, to say “I believe” is not to say that one has no doubts, but rather it means to say that one chooses to believe in the midst of a world that would have us turn away from anything that cannot be seen, touched, measured, or in some way quantified. By contrast, Benedict says that believing means embracing doubt, accepting the reality of it, and leaping to faith by turning our attentions from the visible to the invisible. What do we say in the Mass? “Let us proclaim the mystery of faith.” We do not say, “let us proclaim the data that we have confirmed through intellectual and scientific verification.” There is always an aspect of faith that entails mystery.

So many of the great saints (Therese of Lisiuex, Mother Theresa, St. John of the Cross, etc.) went through periods of great doubt - what St. John of the Cross called “the dark night of the soul.” This presence of doubt from time to time in our lives does not signify a lack of faith so much as it confirms a fundamental reality of the human condition, which is that, this side of eternity, we are limited in our certitude by the effects of sin. That is, we can know something of God through Christ, but we cannot know everything of God. Even St. Paul tells us in the letter to the Galatians that one must ultimately walk in faith and not by sight. That is, there is an aspect of faith that is beyond the mind’s ability to grasp…that there are indeed mysteries of faith…and mysteries by their very nature are not apprehensible by the intellect. So, doubt in and of itself is part of the life of faith, and it need not keep one from seeking God and practicing the faith, any more than it kept the saints from being saints. Pray, and ask God for the grace of greater faith and it will come in time. Message: if your heart is telling you to join the Church, go for it.

 

[MrsHall]

LegalEagle,
I received my First Holy Communion on Pentecost when I was received into the Church. My husband and I will both be confirmed by the Archbishop on the Feast of Christ the King (last Sunday of the Church Year before Advent begins). It was something we discussed with the RCIA director, as we had the option to be confirmed at Pentecost but we wanted to kind of spread out our sacraments to get the full effect of each one. To be honest, I think being able to receive the Eucharist has got to be the pinnacle of the whole conversion experience… I am looking forward to being confirmed but I am not starving for it like I was to receive Jesus in Communion.
Many blessings!

 

[jmcrae]

was wondering, for those who were received into the Church, I’m assuming that’s when you received your first Communion, but what about confirmation - - were you confirmed then, or at a later date?

The most common scenario nowadays is that you go for First Confession at some point just prior to your reception of the Sacraments of Initiation (in my case, it was the same morning; I’ve also seen candidates go to the Lenten Reconciliation Service, a few days beforehand - it just depends on how it’s set up at your parish. I have also seen cases where the candidates were expected to make their own arrangements for First Confession, and I have even heard of cases where the facilitators forgot to tell the candidates that they were supposed to go - that one turned into a bit of a mess, when the priest found out right before the Mass where they were being Initiated, that none of them had been to Confession, yet.

Then, during the service itself, you receive the Sacrament of Confirmation first, and then the Sacrament of First Holy Communion. This is the order in which it was done from the time of the Early Church up to the early part of the 20th century, when Pope Pius X opened up Holy Communion to children too young for First Confession or for Confirmation (he lowered the age to 7).

But as an adult, there is no reason not to receive the Sacraments in the proper order, so normally, you receive them all on the same day or at least in very close proximity to each other.

Those being baptized obviously don’t need to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation - they receive the Sacrament of Baptism first, then Confirmation, and last, First Holy Communion, with First Confession taking place during the Period of Mystagogia, which normally takes place during the six weeks after Initiation (which is usually Easter time, for them.)

 

[Tomb54]

Thanks Tomb54 for this comment:

And thanks to all of you for your comments - - you are really helping me with this.

Mrs. Hall, you have said exactly what I’ve been feeling:

I can’t see myself going back to the Protestant church because of a couple of things: unity – what’s with the 30,000 plus denominations today??? And if the Catholic Church is not the true Church founded by Jesus then that would mean that we choose our church based on preferences like how we choose a radio station or something – and I can’t believe that Jesus intended for that to happen.

I think I know what I have to do and prayer will help me conquer the fears. I’ve already found myself defending the Church to a couple of fundamentalist relatives (it didn’t go too well but I tried).

Thank you again to everyone - - you are doing a wonderful Christian service in your comments. I am excitedly waiting for a shipment of books this week from various authors: Hahn, Karl Keating and other conversion stories. I will have to go see my priest and then it will be interesting to see what the whole process involves. I was wondering, for those who were received into the Church, I’m assuming that’s when you received your first Communion, but what about confirmation - - were you confirmed then, or at a later date?

Blessings to you all.

Hopefully this is one book you are getting which might answer several of your questions and doubts. “Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic” Author: David Currie info about it​

This book was written as an explanation to his fundamentalist and evangelical friends and family about why he became a Roman Catholic.

 

[Elizabeth_C]

So here’s my question: In my heart, I want to convert and be able to receive my Lord in the Eucharist, but my head is getting in the way. Because of some influences from my past (think Jack Chick, John MacArthur, etc), I’m still not 100% comfortable on two main issues: devotion to Mary and indulgences regarding souls in purgatory. Must I wait to convert until I have settled every single one of my doubts on these issues?

I haven’t talked to the parish priest yet because I don’t want to offend him by questioning these things. I’ve started praying the Rosary daily but I’m not really comfortable. I’ve got a lot of fear, I guess. However, I’m reading and ordering tons of books (Hahn, Madrid, etc) and listening to EWTN Radio a lot.

You have had some great answers already! I joined the church 5 years ago from no religion, so these issues weren’t so strong. But, in my RCIA group, the majority were converts from other denominations. As one poster said, there are cases where you don’t have to do full RCIA, but I think it will help you grow even more in your faith. It was an awesome experience for me. I was a bit sad when it ended. I wanted to keep learning.

The Apostles’ Creed was mentioned. But, look at the Nicene Creed instead. That is the core belief.

I didn’t have the trouble with Mary because I wasn’t raised with the objections. I have prayed the Rosary and know that Mary always leads us to her Son. And, all the prayers are Scriptural.

Indulgences I still don’t understand and haven’t felt the need to.

As for books, you’ve made a great start. I’ve read Scott Hahn’s books and love them. Take a look at his book about his and Kimberly’s conversion (Rome Sweet Home) if you haven’t already.

Most of all…go to RCIA… now! You cannot lose by learning more. Jesus is calling you home. Follow Him.

 

[djeter]

This is a conversion story I came across and enjoyed greatly. The author is a writer and poet and so you will find more in his story. I was struck by this:

"Perhaps it is never disbelief, which at least is active and conscious, that destroys a man but unacknowledged belief, or a need for belief so strong that it is continually and silently crucified on the crosses of science, humanism, art, or (to name the thing that poisons all these gifts of God) the overweening self.”

I am now shopping this at several atheist sites. Feel free to pile on

Christian Wyman’s story is here (great name don’t you think?):

payingattentiontothesky.com/2009/07/30/conversion-stories-my-bright-abyss/

dj