Convert if Married to non-Christian?

[stavros388]

This is perhaps a bit tricky. I am an Orthodox Christian, but I am married to a non-Christian, and we have an as-of-yet unbaptized 3-yr-old son.

Technically, because I converted AFTER my marriage to my wife, I had no problem becoming Orthodox. We had two weddings: A civil marriage with my family, and a Christian wedding in a United Church (with my wife’s family). Anyway, I have been able to commune at the Orthodox Church without issue, but now that my son is growing up, I want to raise him up Christian.

I have been attending Catholic mass for a few months now due to being distanced from the Orthodox Church, and have begun to feel quite at home with the worship style, as well as friendly with the priest and many parishioners. I took my son to mass today, and he wanted to commune! I want to take him back. Were I to try to remain Orthodox and have him baptized there, it would require about 3-4 hours of driving once a month or so, as well as standing for the 2-2.5 hour services, and with my wife not interested in attending, it seems unfeasible for my family (as we’d essentially be gone for the day, and my wife would more likely attend the Catholic services with us once and awhile than the Orthodox ones, as mass is short, more down to earth, and non-ethnocentric). We also have neighbors with kids close to my son’s age that attend one of the two Catholic parishes within a half hour drive of here.

Now to the point!

My question is this: Could my son and I become Catholic even if my wife remains non-Christian (which she likely will)? Could we fully participate in the Eucharist and the life of the Church under these conditions?

Thanks in advance,
Steve

 

[Iron_Donkey]

Absolutely, yes you can, but if you do, you should be sure that you think Catholicism is true first. We would love to have both of you, but you should know what you’re agreeing to.

If you wish to remain Orthodox (if that is what you truly believe to be true), but receiving the sacraments from them is just unfeasible, it may be possible to receive the sacraments from at the Catholic parish without converting:

From catholic.com/tracts/who-can-receive-communion:

Possible exceptions

However, there are circumstances when non-Catholics may receive Communion from a Catholic priest. This is especially the case when it comes to Eastern Orthodox Christians, who share the same faith concerning the nature of the sacraments:

“Catholic ministers may licitly administer the sacraments of penance, Eucharist and anointing of the sick to members of the oriental churches which do not have full Communion with the Catholic Church, if they ask on their own for the sacraments and are properly disposed. This holds also for members of other churches, which in the judgment of the Apostolic See are in the same condition as the oriental churches as far as these sacraments are concerned” (CIC 844 § 3).

Christians in these churches should, of course, respect their own church’s guidelines regarding when it would be permissible for them to receive Communion in a Catholic church. [emphasis added]

Just be sure to talk to people on both sides if you decide to go that route, to make sure it’s licit.

Glad to hear that you and your son are enjoying mass.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

The answer to your questions is yes. You and your son can easily become Catholic, as the Orthodox sacraments are considered valid by the Catholic Church. There is no necessity for your wife to convert for you and your son to commune. You should, of course, pray that she will eventually join the Church as well. Talk to the priest about this.

 

[1ke]

My question is this: Could my son and I become Catholic even if my wife remains non-Christian (which she likely will)? Could we fully participate in the Eucharist and the life of the Church under these conditions?

Thanks in advance,
Steve

Yes of course. You are already fully initiated, you can be received into full communion immediately. Don’t let anyone tell you that you must go through RCIA. You will be received into the corresponding Eastern Rite, whatever that may be, you don’t say which Orthodox Church you belong to

Although you will be an Eastern Rite Catholic, you can freely participate in the Latin Rite. If you want to become a Latin Rite Catholic, then you will need to do a bit more work to change rites.

Regarding your son, if you remain Eastern Rite then your son would receive all three sacraments of initiation as an infant. He would be able to commune in the Latin church you attend, but you may need to explain this to the pastor ahead of time. Many Latin Catholics are unfamiliar with the Eastern Rites. If you come into the Latin Rite, your child would then follow the Latin Rite traditions, which would be infant baptism with communion and confirmation coming later, as established by the bishop.

I recommend you visit the Eastern Cathoicism board here at CAF to ask questions. Again, if any well meaning person at your local Catholic parish tries to steer you into RCIA, you need to be polite but firm, and may need to talk to someone at the diocese.

 

[stavros388]

What a relief! Thanks for your helpful responses. I am not sure about the whole Eastern Rite thing, but I doubt that it is an option for us as we live in a rather isolated area. The Catholic priest here has already said that he would happily hear my confession and allow me to partake of the Eucharist without converting. However, the Orthodox priest who visits the nearest parish once a month or so has instructed me not to receive the Eucharist in a Catholic parish. To do so, I believe, would result in me estranging or even excommunicating myself from the Orthodox Church.

I am strongly considering doing so, as I want Christ, the Eucharist, and the Church to be at the centre of mine and my son’s life. As for which Church I believe to have the truth, I have always been something of a traditional Christian perennialist, you could say, seeing both the Eastern Orthodox and Roman Catholic Churches as holding to the truth that Christ brought us (although expressed in different ways due to cultural and various other factors). I quite agree with the “two lungs” view of eastern and western Christianity. That said, my interest in the Orthodox Church was initially mostly due to its “mysticism” - hesychasm and Athonite spirituality - moreso than its ecclesiastical governance or structure. I have never been an anti-papist, at least not emphatically. I have recently been reacquainting myself with some of the early Catholic writers whom I used to appreciate: St. Francis de Sales, Thomas Merton, St. John of the Cross, as well as reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church, St. Therese of Lisieux, and Henry Suso. I very much appreciate what both Churches have to offer, and while I do adore the Orthodox Divine Liturgy, I am finding the ordinary Catholic Mass to be beautiful, simple, and edifying in its own way. It is also much more accessible and practical right now for myself and my family.

Again, thanks. And please keep myself and my family in your prayers.

 

[1ke]

What a relief! Thanks for your helpful responses. I am not sure about the whole Eastern Rite thing, but I doubt that it is an option for us as we live in a rather isolated area.

This is why I suggest that you go to the Eastern Carholic forum here at CAF to get information.

It is not a matter of being an option, it is a fact of Church law. You will be an Eastern Rite Catholic. There are ways you can change to the Latin Rite, but it takes a formal process. It doesn’t matter if there are no Eastern Catholic churches nearby, you would still be an Eastern Rite Catholic.

 

[Iron_Donkey]

This is why I suggest that you go to the Eastern Carholic forum here at CAF to get information.

It is not a matter of being an option, it is a fact of Church law. You will be an Eastern Rite Catholic. There are ways you can change to the Latin Rite, but it takes a formal process. It doesn’t matter if there are no Eastern Catholic churches nearby, you would still be an Eastern Rite Catholic.

To emphasize, though 1ke has already said so, as an Eastern Catholic, there would be absolutely no problem with you attending mass and receiving the sacraments at a Latin parish.

 

[stavros388]

This is why I suggest that you go to the Eastern Carholic forum here at CAF to get information.

It is not a matter of being an option, it is a fact of Church law. You will be an Eastern Rite Catholic. There are ways you can change to the Latin Rite, but it takes a formal process. It doesn’t matter if there are no Eastern Catholic churches nearby, you would still be an Eastern Rite Catholic.

Hmmm… I see. I did know that. I will look into the matter some more, then. Thanks.

 

[stavros388]

To emphasize, though 1ke has already said so, as an Eastern Catholic, there would be absolutely no problem with you attending mass and receiving the sacraments at a Latin parish.

Very good to know! Thank you.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Hmmm… I see. I did know that. I will look into the matter some more, then. Thanks.

Please listen to 1KE on this. You may need to call your diocese for clarification. A lot of well-intentioned people will tell you that Orthodox Christians are treated the same as Protestants, but they’re not. They have valid sacraments so they don’t repeat the sacraments of baptism and confirmation/chrismation since they can be received only once.

In addition, Orthodox Christians are received into the Eastern Catholic Church that is parallel to their Orthodox Church. (Though any Catholic can worship in any Catholic Church. If you wish to become Roman Catholic rather than Eastern Catholic there is an additional step required to make the change official.)

This page from the Diocese of Gary explains things and gives citations to canon law: dcgary.org/pdf/Reception-Orthodox-Christian.pdf

 

[SerbCath]

Yes of course. You are already fully initiated, you can be received into full communion immediately. Don’t let anyone tell you that you must go through RCIA. You will be received into the corresponding Eastern Rite, whatever that may be, you don’t say which Orthodox Church you belong to

Although you will be an Eastern Rite Catholic, you can freely participate in the Latin Rite. If you want to become a Latin Rite Catholic, then you will need to do a bit more work to change rites.

Regarding your son, if you remain Eastern Rite then your son would receive all three sacraments of initiation as an infant. He would be able to commune in the Latin church you attend, but you may need to explain this to the pastor ahead of time. Many Latin Catholics are unfamiliar with the Eastern Rites. If you come into the Latin Rite, your child would then follow the Latin Rite traditions, which would be infant baptism with communion and confirmation coming later, as established by the bishop.

I recommend you visit the Eastern Cathoicism board here at CAF to ask questions. Again, if any well meaning person at your local Catholic parish tries to steer you into RCIA, you need to be polite but firm, and may need to talk to someone at the diocese.

Second this. If you were chrismated there is no such thing as RCIA for you.

 

[stavros388]

I will most certainly talk to the local Catholic priest about this, but since we’re on the subject here any way…

What kind of Eastern Rite Catholic would I be (were I to join) if I was initially baptized in a Greek Orthodox Church, spent most of my time in the Antiochian jurisdiction, but most recently have been attending a parish in the Orthodox Church of America (which has Russian roots)?

I’ve moved around a lot.

 

[Nan_S]

While there is no need for you to go through RCIA, voluntarily attending the meetings might be of interest to you. You’ll get a chance to discuss one-on-one a lot of the more interesting aspects of being a Catholic Christian. While both Orthodox and Catholic retain true sacraments, there are some significant differences in our worldviews and the nuances of our theology.

I have been through RCIA several times, first as a hostess, then as a sponsor, and finally as a group co-facilitator for several years. Every time around I learn more about this tremendous deposit of the faith which is ours to share.

 

[SerbCath]

I will most certainly talk to the local Catholic priest about this, but since we’re on the subject here any way…

What kind of Eastern Rite Catholic would I be (were I to join) if I was initially baptized in a Greek Orthodox Church, spent most of my time in the Antiochian jurisdiction, but most recently have been attending a parish in the Orthodox Church of America (which has Russian roots)?

I’ve moved around a lot.

The Greek Catholic church or Ruthenians I would think.

I was chrismated Serbian Orthodox and I technically “Greek Catholic of the Former Yugoslavia.”

My parish is Ruthenian.

 

[SerbCath]

While there is no need for you to go through RCIA, voluntarily attending the meetings might be of interest to you. You’ll get a chance to discuss one-on-one a lot of the more interesting aspects of being a Catholic Christian. While both Orthodox and Catholic retain true sacraments, there are some significant differences in our worldviews and the nuances of our theology.

I have been through RCIA several times, first as a hostess, then as a sponsor, and finally as a group co-facilitator for several years. Every time around I learn more about this tremendous deposit of the faith which is ours to share.

I did this for about 6 months before I figured out the truth on my own.

It wasn’t that the priest at the local parish was trying to mislead me, he just didn’t know. I was being “latinized.” I was rejecting something I didn’t even know existed.

The OP seems comfortable in the RC setting, and that is fine. But he owes it to himself to investigate and understand the rite he was given as a baby, which he can fully participate in and still be Catholic.