Convert(maybe) receiving sacrements

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Jeanne_S

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The woman who is my prayer partner in the Adoration Chapel is a convert of nearly twenty years.We were talking over coffee last week.A lot of her comments have led me to believe that she may not be fully received into the Cnurch.She mentioned that she was a widow,prior to her current marriage,her present husband was divorced from his first wife.He tried to obtain an annulment,however, his first wife was uncooperative.According to my friend,she and her husband gave up on the annulment,feeling that"God knows what is on their hearts".She has also made statements to the fact that she doesn’t need to go to confession as she tells her sins to God.Doesn’t agree that only Catholics should be able to receive thevEucharist,these are rules made by men…you get the gist.I am wondering if I should persue this further,suggest that she talk with a priest.Any suggestions? BTW, she said she went through RCIA.
 
No don’t pursue it. Be her friend. Offer advice if she asks (such as speak with a priest) but other than that it is up to her and her conscience.
 
I disagree with the above completely. You can have some real success with her if you navigate this delicate manner well. Just talk to her about things and suggest she speak with a priest, but just keep it between you two.
 
Leave it alone is IMHO the best advise. I would feel very guilty if I tattled my misgivings about another person’s genuine “Catholicness” (sp) and it caused an upheaval in her life and spirituality. If your friend is attending adoration, then she loves our Lord and wants to honor him. Neither you nor I know what is in her heart, only the One whom you are adoring does!😉
 
Jeanne_S said:
I am wondering if I should persue this further,suggest that she talk with a priest.Any suggestions? BTW, she said she went through RCIA.
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Only her priest knows if she’s “fully Catholic.” If she expresses uncertainty about her status to you, refer her to her priest. Otherwise, I’d stay out of it.

Luna
 
YoungTradCath said:
I disagree with the above completely. You can have some real success with her if you navigate this delicate manner well. Just talk to her about things and suggest she speak with a priest, but just keep it between you two.
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What are you disagreeing with? You said basically the same thing as me.
If you mean you would interfere in her life on purpose and preach at her…I disagree completely. That’s the best way to push someone away. A wall will go up.
 
This Lent the Holy Father is saying to us - - “Being concerned for each other” also entails being concerned for their spiritual well-being. Here I would like to mention an aspect of the Christian life, which I believe has been quite forgotten:fraternal correction in view of eternal salvation

zenit.org/article-34255?l=english

Maybe you are the one who is called to fraternally correct her and help her!
 
Castello said:
This Lent the Holy Father is saying to us - - “Being concerned for each other” also entails being concerned for their spiritual well-being. Here I would like to mention an aspect of the Christian life, which I believe has been quite forgotten:fraternal correction in view of eternal salvation

zenit.org/article-34255?l=english

Maybe you are the one who is called to fraternally correct her and help her!
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You might be right but it all depends on the circumstance and more important, the personality involved. Pointing out someone’s flaws or wrong doings can easily backfire, no matter how good the intentions. Tread carefully.
 
Anna_Claire said:
What are you disagreeing with? You said basically the same thing as me.
If you mean you would interfere in her life on purpose and preach at her…I disagree completely. That’s the best way to push someone away. A wall will go up.
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No, but I just took what you wrote as basically saying leave it alone. I don’t believe that is good. While it should be handled delicately and no one should preach, she made contact to someone else herself which is an invitation for conversation. I just think one has an obligation to help her out since she obviously is showing certain… difficulties. And it is certainly not on her conscience only. She told someone.
 
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful suggestions.I think at this point,the next time we have a chat,I might casually ask her if she was confirmed,and where they were married.I don’t want to be pushy , but I do wonder what my responsibility is.To clarify this issue,she didn’t make her comments out of concern about the state of her soul, it was more a statement of she doesn’t think it’s a problem.Sooo,therein lies the problem:(
 
That problem is, she does not think there is anything wrong with the fact that her husband never received an annulment,that the sacraments can be option within our faith.I’m not sure if it is just poor chatechesis, that she just doesn’t understand.As a fellowcCatholic,I want to know if I should just not concern myself with her choices,or is it incumbent upon me to inform her?Is it wrong for me not to say anything?
 
Well…Apart from the annulment issue…Aren’t we required to recieve the sacrament of Confession at least once a year during Easter? Regardless of our personal opinion? I have learned the reason why non catholics or catholics not in a state of grace are not to receive communion. It has to do with the importance and reverence of the real presence in the Eucharist. I find it shocking to be so lah-dee-dah about it. Look into your heart and pray for her and her husband. I think that the previous posters have given you good advice.
 
Hmgbrd said:
Well…Apart from the annulment issue…Aren’t we required to recieve the sacrament of Confession at least once a year during Easter? Regardless of our personal opinion? I have learned the reason why non catholics or catholics not in a state of grace are not to receive communion. It has to do with the importance and reverence of the real presence in the Eucharist. I find it shocking to be so lah-dee-dah about it. Look into your heart and pray for her and her husband. I think that the previous posters have given you good advice.
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It is a precpet of the Church that we receive the Eucharist once per year during the Easter season. We cannot receive Communion with unconfessed mortal sin.
 
Castello said:
It is a precpet of the Church that we receive the Eucharist once per year during the Easter season. We cannot receive Communion with unconfessed mortal sin.
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Thank you! :DYou expressed it better than I could. This Easter will be my first communion/confirmantion with the CC. I am concentrating on the confession part at the moment!! 😛 I forgot about the communion part:o Oh me! Something else to confess!
 
Jeanne_S said:
That problem is, she does not think there is anything wrong with the fact that her husband never received an annulment,that the sacraments can be option within our faith.I’m not sure if it is just poor chatechesis, that she just doesn’t understand.As a fellowcCatholic,I want to know if I should just not concern myself with her choices,or is it incumbent upon me to inform her?Is it wrong for me not to say anything?
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Well it seems that you are on the fence about telling her that her choices are wrong. Don’t…the best thing to do is listen. Offer advice only if she asks for it otherwise you risk a friendship and anything you hope to accomplish with her.

Also…don’t look at it as your problem…it’s not.
 
As others have said, this is not your problem. Not to us to judge another.

She clearly has thought it through and made her peace with her decision and situation, with God, with man, in ways maybe we will never know and that we do not need to know.

She is your friend; accept what she gives you and go no further unless and until she asks more of you. Doing more is a sure way to alienate her and rightly so.

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone…”
 
Anna_Claire said:
Well it seems that you are on the fence about telling her that her choices are wrong. Don’t…the best thing to do is listen. Offer advice only if she asks for it otherwise you risk a friendship and anything you hope to accomplish with her.

Also…don’t look at it as your problem…it’s not.
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I agree.

Give her honest answers when she asks. Be a positive Catholic role-model. Pray that God will give you an opportunity, and the wisdom to see it an use it well.
Peace
 
We have a parishioner in our parish who is a tattle tale, and no one believes much of what she says anymore, and we all cringe when we see her coming towards us anywhere. I’d NEVER tattle on someone, I’d just be her friend.
 
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