Convert Seeks Guidance (Trouble in RCIA)

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With due respect to everyone here, I don’t think anyone “knows all of it.” So I would say that’s the first thing to learn–that you will never know “all of it.” I think a lot of people convert to Catholicism (or Islam, or…) because they’re in search of some authority to tell them what to do. You can certainly approach any religion that way, but it seems to me that’s a fool’s errand.

I would have two pieces of advice. First, to research some topic that interests you. It could be anything: ethics, Mary, early church history, the Pope, whatever comes to mind. I certainly wouldn’t worry about becoming an expert, but why not start with Wikipedia and follow some links? I suspect that each thing you learn will lead to several other questions. Make sure you get a balanced view. Think of it as a cyclical or spiral approach: spend five minutes and open up some avenues of thought, then come back later and spend 10 minutes exploring one of those avenues. Then come back later and spend a half hour…etc. Eventually you will realize that a lot of these seemingly separate explorations begin to overlap, and at that point some light bulbs should come on.

Second, be aware that there are always different points of view on almost every subject. Take the recent synod on the family. There were at least two main points of view. There are lots of articles and several good youtube videos produced by the competing sides. Since this is a recent and important topic, it might be a good place to start. Familiarize yourself with both the arguments and the personalities of the different sides. Then read the final document the Vatican released. If you are looking for a definitive answer, did you find it? What does that tell you? Keep in mind that everyone you talk to and every author has an individual point of view. Some things they say will be wrong. None of them is infallible. But probably each is worth thinking about.
 
Perhaps a personal subscription to Formed.org, paying particular attention to part 2 of f the Symbolon series, and the first three lessons of the Forgiven series.
 
Hi, I am really glad that you came here and shared your experience with us. Unfortunately, there are a few RCIA classes out there that could be better, but get as much as you can out of the classes while your in them. There are several good posts here with some great suggestions, give those a try.

This period is really all about you and your spiritual journey. Mine happened during a very difficult time, but it was that very tough period that finally propelled me towards the Church in the first place. Keep top most in your mind as you head towards confirmation and fist communion, what the goal is. It is about you and God and the sacraments.

I became Catholic for the sacraments, chiefly communion and confession. I knew that unlike what I was in before, that becoming Catholic was a 24/7 way of life. I also knew that sitting at the Lord’s table, confessing my sins to a Catholic Priest, adopting a new way of life and learning to at least to strive towards holiness was the only way I could ever hope to see the inside of heaven.

My life changed almost at once when I became Catholic. I can only speak of my experiences, but I was in a downward spiral. I spent my whole life up till then as a seeker, drowning myself in pleasures along the way. I NEVER stopped feeling like a ship tossed around in the ocean without a port until I finally became Catholic. It took me decades to get here, but it was well worth the wait.

So again, your education on what it is to be a Catholic chiefly is yours to command. RCIA is just a welcome mat, a starting gate. Once you receive the sacraments and the rites, your free to run, and it gets better with every step!

GBY!
 
One thing that you will sooner or later figure out is that the Catholic faith is very much like a huge beautiful diamond and we spend our lives exploring every facet. Every day you will learn and grow in your faith and only when you enter Heaven will you know what you seek.

In the meantime we all follow the mandate of St. Paul to Timothy. when he said. ***"***Carefully study to present thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth."
 
cominghome1966 said:
Remember that is is more about developing a love relationship with Jesus and his Church. Following the rules is supposed to be part of that, not separate from it.
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This is my point. I want to do precicely this.

I started by asking what I need to learn in order to be a good Catholic, and I am frankly astonished at the people who are saying I shouldn’t want that.

Should I try to be a bad Catholic?

Grateful as I am to those who have tried to help, is there really no concrete teaching on how to be a good Catholic? Have the bishops given us no guidance at all? Is it OK to drink beer and watch trashy movies all day? If not, then what demands does Catholicism make on the Catholic?
 
HobbitShoe said:
This is my point. I want to do precicely this.

I started by asking what I need to learn in order to be a good Catholic, and I am frankly astonished at the people who are saying I shouldn’t want that.
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I’m not sure this is what people are saying. It’s not what I was saying.
Should I try to be a bad Catholic?
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Grateful as I am to those who have tried to help, is there really no concrete teaching on how to be a good Catholic? Have the bishops given us no guidance at all? Is it OK to drink beer and watch trashy movies all day? If not, then what demands does Catholicism make on the Catholic?
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It’s going to be a little different for each person.

What did you think of the list I made?
 
HobbitShoe said:
This is my point. I want to do precicely this.

I started by asking what I need to learn in order to be a good Catholic, and I am frankly astonished at the people who are saying I shouldn’t want that.

Should I try to be a bad Catholic?

Grateful as I am to those who have tried to help, is there really no concrete teaching on how to be a good Catholic? Have the bishops given us no guidance at all? Is it OK to drink beer and watch trashy movies all day? If not, then what demands does Catholicism make on the Catholic?
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I may have missed it if you answered this earlier but do have a copy of either the regular catechism of the compendium one? I recommend the latter in your case.

Drinking beer is not intrinsically evil and it would depend on the movies.😃

How about this then…what do you think it will take for you to be a devout practicing Catholic? Surely you already have some idea, right?

Meanwhile please take a long careful look at How to Become a Catholic. It may help.
 
I have seen other converts express fear that they will get something wrong, not know something, or do something wrong. I guess they think the sacraments won’t work or that they will be chased out of the church.

However, this is not how Catholics operate. Is it good to be informed? Sure! However, there is not a bible exam at the gates of heaven.

The more important thing is to be repentant. Remember, Jesus said the sinner who would not look up to heaven and beat his breast was more justified than the well-versed Pharisee.

For now, just look at the underlying reasons for the sacraments and know how to make a good confession. Understanding the words of the creed are important, too. You can fill in the blanks over time.
 
To learn the Mass, go to Mass. Yes, your leaders should have taught you the basics, but most likely they are doing the best they can with well intentioned volunteers who have no idea that you don’t know these things.

I am an RCIA coordinator and some of the volunteers I have to work with have little or no idea how to set up simple lesson plans, and they do wander from topic to topic seemingly at random. The person who was supposed to teach them about the Mass gave a theological dissertation on union with Christ - great topic, and actually related, if someone knows what the Mass is, but they still don’t know how to go to Mass - and at this stage, all I can tell them is, go to Mass, and bring me your questions.

Learn by doing - it will come. And keep asking questions. You’ll be okay.

If they are saying all you need is the Creed and the Our Father then study well the 12 doctrines of the Creed and the seven petitions of the Our Father, and see if you find yourself thinking with the mind of a Catholic, at least somewhat.

I would also say, study the Sacraments and learn how they apply to your daily life.
 
The list of Cominghome1966 strikes me as a good one, to hold out ahead of you. If you are firmly enough resolved to get stuck in as well as possible in an ongoing way both before and - especially - after you are received, you’re not too wide of the mark.

The Our Father should be something you find yourself muttering without realising it, or, if inarticulate, Glory Be.

Get your nose in great chunks of Holy Scriptures, all the time.

One thing that generally, is dangerously underplayed is that for Catholics and Protestants alike, it is vital that we help other believers develop their ministries and have others help us develop ours. It does take effort and sadness to try and seek out such people. 99% of the Christian life is outside Mass.
 
What I am looking for, which I think I have been clear about, is what specific things I need to learn so I can live as a Catholic, fulfilling all of my obligations, without neglecting anything due to ignorance.
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Then you want the Five Precepts of the Church
Code: 
You shall attend Mass on Sundays and on holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor.
We must “sanctify the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord” (Sunday), as well as the principal feast days, known as Catholic holy days of obligation. This requires attending Mass, “and by resting from those works and activities which could impede such a sanctification of these days.”

You shall confess your sins at least once a year.
We must prepare for the Eucharist by means of the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession). This sacrament “continues Baptism’s work of conversion and forgiveness.”

You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season.
This “guarantees as a minimum the reception of the Lord’s Body and Blood in connection with the Paschal feasts, the origin and center of the Christian liturgy.”

You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church.
“The fourth precept ensures the times of ascesis and penance which prepare us for the liturgical feasts and help us acquire mastery over our instincts and freedom of heart.” See below for more about fasting & abstinence.

You shall help to provide for the needs of the Church.
“The fifth precept means that the faithful are obliged to assist with the material needs of the Church, each according to his own ability.”
beginningcatholic.com/precepts-of-the-catholic-church
 
HobbitShoe said:
Thank you for your recommendations. A couple of those books are sitting on my desk right now. They are interesting, but when I ask what I need to learn in order to be a good Catholic, “all of it” cannot be the answer. I’ve never met anyone at church who knows all of it. Next to none of it is required for the rites of initiation.

What I am looking for, which I think I have been clear about, is what specific things I need to learn so I can live as a Catholic, fulfilling all of my obligations, without neglecting anything due to ignorance.
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There are so many excellent spiritual books, lives of saints, etc. I am eighty years old and was baptized Catholic as an infant. There is always something astonishing and inspiring to learn from good Catholic books. It is a marvelous journey!
 
What Catholics do at Mass or in a church:
  1. (Every time we enter a church) Enter; (say hello to the greeters) dip right-hand fingers into the holy water font to the side of the door, make the sign of the cross (yes, your forehead will be a little wet)
  2. Find a place to sit. Kneel and say prayers (not all churches are conducive to this, but do your best). Look up prayers before Mass and pray them slowly and thoughtfully.*
  3. Mass will start: stand, make the Sign of the Cross when everyone else does.
  4. When we say the Confiteor, where we say I have sinned… each time we tap our chest with our right fist
  5. When they start the readings, sit.
  6. When the Alleluia starts for the Gospel, stand.
  7. After the last part of the Gospel, sit for the homily.
  8. Kneel at the end of the Holy, Holy, Holy
  9. Stand at the end of all these prayers when everyone says Amen.
  10. Sign of the Peace: shake people’s hands, offer yours especially to those who are by themselves, saying Peace be with you. ETA: shake their hands gently: some have arthritis!
  11. If they kneel for this prayer at your church, kneel quickly for the Lamb of God prayer
  12. Definitely kneel for the elevation of the Host and the Lord I am not worthy prayer.
  13. Continue kneeling* and praying *through the distribution of the Eucharist, unless you are receiving. If you are the end of the pew, slide out and stand as others come and go. (It is NOT correct to go up and receive a blessing.) (They should teach you haw to receive beforehand)
  14. Make an Act of Spiritual Communion. Look up prayers after communion and pray those*
  15. For some reason, everyone seems to sit when the priest does… but definitely stand when he stands back up for the final blessing.
  16. Make the Sign of the Cross as he says the part of the blessing In the Name of… and make it to match up with his words
  17. Just stand (you can sing too) as the priest processes out of the church. After he passes you, you can start picking up your things to leave, but ought not to before that.
  18. Better yet, stay for a few minutes to say thank You to God in prayer. Guess what you should look up* 😉
HTH
  • ETA: If you don’t have the prayers with you, just say other prayers, or just talk with God.
 
What do Catholics need to know?

Luke 10:27: He answering, said: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind: and thy neighbor as thyself.

A basic Catholic prayerbook will have all these except those said at Mass and Confession:
Basic prayers
Morning and evening prayers
Prayers said at every Mass and Confession
Rosary prayers and how to pray the Rosary
Mental prayer: the words of the prayers you are praying are a good subject for meditation as you pray, as well as Scripture and other spiritual writings

The saints say to spend 15 minutes a day in prayer for justice, the rest expresses love for God

Fasting: find out the rules of fasting where you live
Fridays: abstain from meat and try to reduce the amount you eat, in recognition of the Crucifixion. In the US, we can substitute another penitential act for abstaining from meat

Almsgiving:
Give what you can (you can discuss with the priest). The best alms are when you give something up so you can give a little more. Try to volunteer to help people in need.

What I read when I first returned to the Church:
  1. Baltimore Catechisms: #0 has the most basic stuff for little children; #1 goes into slightly more depth. (Get the ones that look like this.) After reading these two, you can branch out.
  2. Radio Replies
And I would also recommend Spiritual Combat by Dom Scupoli, Uniformity with the Will of God by Alphonsus Liguori, and Light and Peace by Fr Quadrupani.

Then I would branch out, looking into saints’ lives and writings, deeper theology, etc. Always keep learning more about your Faith!

And welcome 🙂
 
HobbitShoe said:
This is my point. I want to do precicely this.

I started by asking what I need to learn in order to be a good Catholic, and I am frankly astonished at the people who are saying I shouldn’t want that.

Should I try to be a bad Catholic?

Grateful as I am to those who have tried to help, is there really no concrete teaching on how to be a good Catholic? Have the bishops given us no guidance at all? Is it OK to drink beer and watch trashy movies all day? If not, then what demands does Catholicism make on the Catholic?
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Assuming you’re not just putting us on, your comments are disturbing. There is no one way “to be a good Catholic” and there is not a check list–although you can, of course, provide a list of ideas, as some have. Was Mother Teresa a “good Catholic”? Sure. Is the guy down the street who drinks beer as he watches trashy movies a “good Catholic”? Sure. Can you disagree with certain teachings–for example, birth control, and still be a “good Catholic”? Sure. If you want to spend your life in prayer and contemplation, good for you, but that’s not what 99.999% of Catholics do. If you obsess about achieving perfection, you’re going to have a lot of problems since you’ll never achieve it. Simply try to inform your conscience and follow your conscience. Don’t be overly scrupulous. Don’t worry about the trivial (you missed Mass on Sunday because there was a snow storm) and meanwhile, as a business executive, cheat your customers. Don’t worry about not saying your prayers and at the same time treat every one you meet like dirt. In other words, simply try to be a good person. You don’t need a rule book for that.
 
Thanks for the help with the mass, St Francis. I never know when to kneel because the people in my church don’t do it. I’ve heard that there are different rites, so is the general sequence the same at every church?

peter26 seems to have given the beginnings of an answer with the 5 precepts. That does not seem to encompass the entire Catholic faith, though. What else is there?

Finally, I am really getting tired of being called a Pharisee. I’m not a legalist and I’m not scrupulous. I am trying to learn the faith for the first time. If you would only like to insult me, then please leave this thread and get a life.
 
HobbitShoe said:
peter26 seems to have given the beginnings of an answer with the 5 precepts. That does not seem to encompass the entire Catholic faith, though. What else is there?
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I’m a protestant that hangs out here, and I think there’s some confusion because of differences in perspective. Someone coming into the CC is going to have questions that almost don’t make sense from the perspective of a cradle Catholic. So, just to clarify, are you asking for what you have to do to be the model Catholic, as in you are shooting for Catholic Sainthood in the literal sense? Or are you wanting common practices that everyone in the pews “must” do?

The precepts are the common answer to that common practice question. If you are looking for more practices it is going to depend on who you ask… if you ask a Franciscan it’s going to be a bit different then a Dominican. If you use a model for your walk, if you follow St. Theresa, it’s going to be different than St. Escriva. In short, beyond common practices it seems it is up to the individual attempting to follow God’s will for your individual life under the guidance of the CC and a spiritual director is a good idea.

The way I understand what to do in Mass is to follow along with the local congregation and read some of the guides available, such as the Catholic Mass for Dummies.
 
HobbitShoe said:
I have been attending RCIA class at my church for a year, and I feel I have made little progress through these lessons. The topics seem to be chosen at random, and I am usually referred to Google when I ask questions. Easter is approaching, and I’d like to learn how to be a good Catholic before confirmation. What do you think a convert needs to know?
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How to Go to Heaven
Jimmy Akin
catholic.com/blog/jimmy-akin/how-to-go-to-heaven

Sometimes people make it sound like the Catholic understanding of how to get to heaven is really complex.

It’s not.

While you can go into any of Christ’s teachings in a lot of very rich detail, he made sure that this one can be understood even by a child.

I can summarize it in two sentences.

More here.

+++

Akin assumes that someone is Catholic when he speaks of the sacrament of reconciliation (confession). Let’s talk more after you’ve read his brief article. 👍
 
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