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angel6288
Guest
I’ve been attending Mass faithfully for two years now. I don’t know what or why I started suddenly being curious about the Catholic faith. My mother thinks I’m following after someone or doing it for attention. Being raised Pentecostal and wanting to be anything other is out of the norm for my family. Most of my family is either Pentecostal or Jehovah’s Witnesses and they all have made fun of me and said I’m just drawn to the beauty of the church. But, I think my curiosity goes deeper than, that and I also believe that when it comes to Christianity there is no right or wrong way. It’s about where God leads you. My mother has told me repeatedly I’m not allowed to attend Mass and that I’ll dishonor my grandmother for converting. Since, she was a minister in the church I grew up in and my reason for who I am today. My mother was never really big on church. She’d always go once and make an excuse to stop. I almost always had someone to take me if my mom or grandmother didn’t. I stopped going as much, after we moved from Michigan when I was 12, a few years before my grandmother died since like I said my mom didn’t go and since we were in another state I didn’t know anyone plus I lost my motivation. It wasn’t till I got older that I started meeting people and attending church again on my own or finding people to go with as long as my mother approved of the church. I’ve always been curious about the Catholic faith. I’ve always loved the idea of kneeling, deep praying, and confession. It wasn’t till I turned 18 that I really started being interested. My mom told me since I wasn’t rich and white or born Catholic that I’d just be be ostracized because, all Catholics are stand offish. I’ve always contemplated being a nun just never discussed it until recently that and wanting to convert, which was after our final move two years ago that I thought it was time to tell my family how if felt. Now, I regret saying anything. She just told me I’d live a lonely life and get meaner with age because, that’s how nuns are. I think like her and the rest of my family, they are all just hung up on the misconceptions about the church. You’ll never truly know what’s it’s like to be Catholic without attending mass and that’s what I’ve been doing. I feel like being Catholic is my calling but, after receiving more insults from my family I’m not so sure. Now, I’m just confused about my faith. I still attend mass, pray my rosary, and etc. I just don’t discuss it with my family. I still haven’t taken my RCIA classes because, my mother won’t allow it. Even though, technically I am 20. I wish I had support or some clue of what to do. I’m not sure if being Catholic is what I want to do since, it upsets my family so much. The first time I walked into a Catholic Church I felt like I was home. I’ve always felt like I was missing something and attending my first mass made me feel like I found it. For the last few years, I’ve felt a strong pull towards the Catholic Church but, my mother thinks it’s just the devil. I’m not sure what to do. She says if I convert and break tradition I’m dishonoring my grandmother and reserving myself a seat in Hell.
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