To everyone that has prayed for the conversion of atheists and satanists, I give my sincere thanks.
I attended the Maronite church today and I feel as though I have finally found that which I have been seeking. It was so beautiful and moving. The music, the scents, the icons all felt as if I had heard them somewhere before. It was as if something inside of me was longing for this exactly (the great vegetarian food was a big plus too).
Thank you all again for your opinions, perspectives, points of view and prayers.
This is such a strange step for me and it should feel so wrong as it goes against what I considered my most strongly held religious convictions, yet it feels so completely right.
While there was an old anti-vegetarian thread that nearly scared me away from Catholics entirely (flashbacks to the judgmental and mean-spirited Christians I was bullied by in my youth), I found that most of the people here are truly compassionate, loving, contemplative and understanding. If not for this forum I may not have had the encouragement to actually go to the church since there is nobody in my life that I can have these conversations with.
So, to each and every one of you, I give heartfelt thanks