Converting to Roman Catholicism

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I’m new to this forum, but glad I found it. I am a life-long Christian (Episcopalian) married to a Jewish man. I want to convert to Roman Catholicism. This is my 3rd marriage (please, no judgments). My first was in the Episcopal church to a lapsed Catholic man. The second, by a Justice of the Peace. My current husband has no issue with be joining the RC church, but I have a feeling my 2 divorces could be a problem. Having them annulled is not an option at all. I want to take the RCIA classes (I think it’s RCIA) and be welcomed as a Catholic. Is this possible given the divorces>
 
Question: why would having them annulled by the Catholic Church not be an option?

If your first marriage was not in the Catholic Church and if your first husband never received dispensation, then the Church already views that first marriage as invalid. That one would be pretty quick if you were not married in a Catholic Church, and if he didn’t receive dispensation. The Church records would show this. So this one might not need an “annulment” but rather just a confirmation by the Church that there was a lack of form.

The second one is above my pay grade. This one might need an annulment.

Finally, if you refuse to seek annulments, nothing will prevent you from attending mass or taking classes to learn more about the faith. You simply would not be able to receive the Eucharist, but you can attend Mass, pray the Rosary, etc.
Now with all this said, let’s discuss why seeking an annulment is not an option. There are a lot of myths regarding annulments which sometimes cause people not to seek them out. So again, why do you consider annulments not an option?

God bless
 
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Thanks all. To answer your questions about why the annulment process is not an option: 1. From my research on annulments, you need to find witnesses who knew the both of you and can witness about your marriage. I don’t have that for either husband. Even if I did, I would have no idea how to contact them! My last divorce was in 1999 Husband #2- I have an idea where he is, but I don’t want him to know where I am. He was very abusive. No he is not deceased 3. Also from my research I would have to let my ex-husbands know I am seeking an annulment. I don’t want that done, especially husband #2. Note, husband #1 and I were married in the Episcopal church as I mentioned.
 
This is why google is not your friend 🙂
Call the Tribunal at your Diocese. They have handled many cases where witnesses are hard to find, where spouses were abusive, where spouses were criminals, and they have ways to protect the petitioner.

These things are very intricate and not “cut and dried”. Get a trained advocate from the Diocese and begin.
 
kbwriter said:
Thanks all. To answer your questions about why the annulment process is not an option: 1. From my research on annulments, you need to find witnesses who knew the both of you and can witness about your marriage. I don’t have that for either husband. Even if I did, I would have no idea how to contact them! My last divorce was in 1999 Husband #2- I have an idea where he is, but I don’t want him to know where I am. He was very abusive. No he is not deceased 3. Also from my research I would have to let my ex-husbands know I am seeking an annulment. I don’t want that done, especially husband #2. Note, husband #1 and I were married in the Episcopal church as I mentioned.
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OK, please talk to a Catholic priest, and ask him to put you in contact with an annulment advocate so they can talk to you about all of your concerns.

Your research may be flawed because while there are norms, there are also many exceptions.

Again, for husband #1, you might not ever need an annulment, you may simply need a declaration of nullity indicating lack of form if you first husband didn’t receive a dispensation from his bishop.

Regarding husband #2 you don’t have any family members who knew you and your husband?

Regardless, speak with a priest and ask him to put you in contact with an advocate who can work with you and really answer all your questions. Please do not simply rely on your research alone, and do not rely on a priest (or parish staff) alone. Have the priest put you in contact with advocate so you will be truly aware of all of your options.

Again, it’s quite possible that you won’t need an annulment for husband 1. But I really can’t comment much on Husband #2, because we have no information on him.

BTW - was husband #2 a baptized Christian?

God Bless
 
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Curious11 said:
Can I give you one piece of advice? Think very carefully about this. The church may require you to separate from your current spouse. Think about the pros and cons of this before you decide to join.

Good luck, hope you find what makes you happy
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@kbwriter

DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE FROM @CURIOUS11

The Church WILL NOT require you to separate from your current spouse. You simply might have to live as brother & sister to receive communion, but you can still come to Mass and not receive while continuing to have marital relations with your husband.

This was no different than what my Great-Grandmother had to do.
 
Uh, why not, she’s been divorced, if she doesn’t get an annulment, the church won’t recognize the marriage, the won’t be able to act as husband and wife. Correct me if I’m wrong
 
Curious11 said:
Uh, why not, she’s been divorced, if she doesn’t get an annulment, the church won’t recognize the marriage, the won’t be able to act as husband and wife. Correct me if I’m wrong
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Her martial status is the same whether she is Catholic or not. If she comes to believe that the Catholic Church is correct, her martial status should not keep her away from the Mass.

Many of us have issues that bar us from communion.

I had an issue which bared me from Communion for while, it didn’t stop me from coming to Mass, sitting up front, and refraining from communion each week (and sometimes several times a week).

If she believes the Catholic Church is what we say it is, then she should be Catholic: even if she can’t receive communion.

A Church is not a club.

God bless
 
kbwriter said:
Thanks all. To answer your questions about why the annulment process is not an option: 1. From my research on annulments, you need to find witnesses who knew the both of you and can witness about your marriage. I don’t have that for either husband. Even if I did, I would have no idea how to contact them! My last divorce was in 1999 Husband #2- I have an idea where he is, but I don’t want him to know where I am. He was very abusive. No he is not deceased 3. Also from my research I would have to let my ex-husbands know I am seeking an annulment. I don’t want that done, especially husband #2. Note, husband #1 and I were married in the Episcopal church as I mentioned.
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Before converting I was in the situation that my wife was Catholic and I was Methodist. I had been married before (validly) and then legally divorced. I was not able to get an annulment. My current marriage is a civil one and legal but of course not valid in the eyes of the Church.
I went through the RCIA program but was only allowed to become a Catholic on condition that my wife and I would live a life of continence (no sexual relationship).
Without such an agreement allowing you to become a Catholic would be problematical because it would mean converting to allow you to be in a state of mortal sin and that would not make sense.
 
thistle said:
Without such an agreement allowing you to become a Catholic would be problematical because it would mean converting to allow you to be in a state of mortal sin and that would not make sense.
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@kbwriter please let me add to this… while @thistle is 100% correct, if you refuse to life a life of continence, you can still come to mass. You simply cannot receive communion or be confirmed.
 
Wow. This sounds complicated. Thank you so much everyone. It might be easier to remain an Episcopalian, lol! But this is something I really want to do. I’ll definitely contact a priest and take it from there. I don’t want to get into my personal life, but my current husband and I have lived like brother and sister from day one. His preference, not mine. Lapsed Catholic husband #1 did not get any dispensation from his bishop that much I know. My family is small and husband #2 and I lived miles away. They never met him. Our marriage was short.

Thanks again, everyone. Have a wonderful day!
 
In the mealtime ask Christ to take over your life. You can do this right here, right now. He will light your path while you go through this process.

I also recently returned to the Catholic Church of my youth. Its a day to day journey.

Blessing…
 
kbwriter said:
Wow. This sounds complicated. Thank you so much everyone. It might be easier to remain an Episcopalian, lol! But this is something I really want to do. I’ll definitely contact a priest and take it from there. I don’t want to get into my personal life, but my current husband and I have lived like brother and sister from day one. His preference, not mine. Lapsed Catholic husband #1 did not get any dispensation from his bishop that much I know. My family is small and husband #2 and I lived miles away. They never met him. Our marriage was short.

Thanks again, everyone. Have a wonderful day!
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I would not say it’s “complicated,” but each situation is unique and subject to your life.

For most people going into the annulment process with the right frame of mind, it can be a very healing process.

May God Bless you and guide you in your faith journey!
 
kbwriter said:
Having them annulled is not an option at all.
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Can you tell us why not?

The details matter of course. Depending on those details, a decree of nullity may not be necessary. But if one is necessary, why would you not pursue it?
 
Curious11 said:
Can I give you one piece of advice? Think very carefully about this. The church may require you to separate from your current spouse.
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Another reason not to get information from the internet. This is NOT true.

OP-- PLEASE talk to your local Catholic pastor and as needed the diocesan tribunal. You will get accurate answers that apply to YOU by contacting your local Catholic pastor.

And, everything can be worked through. Step by step. Nothing needs to be rushed.

You have no need to do anything to simply inquire and learn through RCIA.
 
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