Converting v. Honoring Parents

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I go to a Jesuit college, but otherwise I was raised Protestant (Methodist/non denominational).
Mother is devout Christian, and considers Catholicism to be good too.
She does have high expectations that I work hard, which is good of course.

It’s just that I decided to convert to Catholicism (with RCIA later).
I told my mom and she wasn’t happy at all. She said that I came to college to study and that I am making her upset that I am wasting my time here to become Catholic.
She said that she has no problem if I convert after college/graduation (and I’m only a freshman).

I truly want to become Catholic and join the church to grow in Christ.
Yet, I am upset myself that I have made my mother upset.
I really wish to honor her.

Should I join the RCIA and convert now even though my mom said she does not allow it?
She now says she sent me to the wrong college.

Any advice?
And please if possible have me in your prayers so that my parents can understand in my pursuit of Jesus and God.
 
You can go to RCIA without converting that same year. You can explain the situation to your RCIA teacher. In the meantime, you can start going to Mass (without receiving communion), making practicing Catholic friends, and slowly taking on the practices that will be part of your life as a Catholic (for instance, Lenten abstinence and fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). You can also be looking for a confirmation sponsor.

There’s no huge rush. I think if you do all of this for a year and occasionally mention your activities, your mom will eventually soften up. As I’m sure you realize, this talk about “wasting time” is very silly. If she says anything more like that, I’d be tempted to tell her, “Mom, you know what other college freshmen do with their free time. Aren’t you happy I’m spending mine at church?”
 
Kmon23 said:
I go to a Jesuit college, but otherwise I was raised Protestant (Methodist/non denominational).
Mother is devout Christian, and considers Catholicism to be good too.
She does have high expectations that I work hard, which is good of course.

It’s just that I decided to convert to Catholicism (with RCIA later).
I told my mom and she wasn’t happy at all. She said that I came to college to study and that I am making her upset that I am wasting my time here to become Catholic.
She said that she has no problem if I convert after college/graduation (and I’m only a freshman).

I truly want to become Catholic and join the church to grow in Christ.
Yet, I am upset myself that I have made my mother upset.
I really wish to honor her.

Should I join the RCIA and convert now even though my mom said she does not allow it?
She now says she sent me to the wrong college.

Any advice?
And please if possible have me in your prayers so that my parents can understand in my pursuit of Jesus and God.
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One thing I have been told is that, once you are an adult, you can only honor your parents so much. I am in a similar position you’re in, save the fact I’ve only lightly brought the topic up to my Mom every now and then. Technically, she can’t forbid you from becoming Catholic. If you feel Catholicism is right for you, especially with how excited you sound about it (!), I say go for it. Parents have a way of making their children feel guilty for doing things they don’t agree with/believe in, but ultimately, it’s all up to you. 🙂
By the way, I don’t think she sent you to the wrong college. I think that God led you there for a reason, and that reason is for you to follow Him. 🙂 Good luck, and I will be praying for you!
 
Would you be asking the same question if you were making another decision such as what type of car to purchase. I wonder if your filter on this commandment might not be dirty or blurred.
At what age would you pursue the conversion without the question?
I think those answer may shed some more light.

BTW: Welcome aboard (after RCIA fully). Its the right step.
 
decatholic said:
Would you be asking the same question if you were making another decision such as what type of car to purchase. I wonder if your filter on this commandment might not be dirty or blurred.
At what age would you pursue the conversion without the question?
I think those answer may shed some more light.

BTW: Welcome aboard (after RCIA fully). Its the right step.
Click to expand...
I understand what you mean. From previous questions (before I told my mother) I said that I have conviction and I am convinced on where I want to go.
It’s just that I don’t want to upset my mother who did so much for me.
Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
You can still honor your mother without having to do every single thing the way SHE wants it to be done, especially if you are an adult. Why does she have such a problem with Catholicism? At this point in your life, you have to make your own choices and they will not always be the same ones your mother wants for you. That doesn’t mean you’re dishonoring her. Just keep that in mind. 😉
 
I was received last year in my parish. I had been attending for about a year with my husband before that and before we were married, about 80% of the time I went to any church, it was with my future husband. I made the decision to convert after a very very long discernment process even before the RCIA process. Most of my family was not and is not particularly supportive.

My mother TRIES to be supportive now, but really, she’s passive aggressive in her comments. My brother thinks the Catholic church is a joke and repeatedly tells me this. I think my sister “gets it” the most as to why I did what I did. They did come to the mass when I was received. It took me a while to realize that those are THEIR issues and not mine. I am following God’s call for ME.

It’s really hard when family doesn’t support you. But you are an adult and this is your decision.
 
If it makes you feel any better, I’m almost 34 yrs old and I still worry about what my dad thinks about me becoming Catholic. I think this could be an issue to any person who wants peace in the family but also needs to follow Christ’s call into the Church.
 
When we are children, obeying our parents means one thing. After we are adults, it means another.

Honoring our parents as an adult doesn’t mean we will necessarily follow their same faith or do what they say we should. It becomes our decision at that point.

We honor our parents in that we will respect them our entires lives, help them in their old age according to our abilities.

What you believe and how your practice your faith is actually your concern, not theirs. They can express their opinions, preferably respectfully.

You might need to get to a point that if the topic of religion is too controversial, you might need to “agree to disagree”, and talk about other subjects.

In my family, there were times we had a truce on religion and politics. When we didn’t abide by it, it got into heated arguments, and really, in the end, nobody changed anybody, so what good was it all?

If you find it’s getting to be too much, you can say that you have decided to become a Catholic, that you would ask that they would respect your decision.

What you have in common still in many ways outweighs the differences. You still believe in God, in Christ, the 10 commandments.

Agree that you the topic of religion will be off limits, at least for now. If, at some future time you want to change this arrangement, you can. However, as long as they are saying your faith is a “waste” of time, I think only hurt feelings can come from this, possibly arguments.

I’ve seen where sometimes families have gotten into knock-down, drag out fights over religion where some aren’t speaking for years at a time, and for what? Nobody changed their minds. It only caused division.

If anyone is being a bit disrespectful here, it would be your family. Although, it’s very understandable. They will want you to return.

It’s going to be a bit of a fight, now…for control. You need to call the shots in your own life. You aren’t telling them what to believe. They need to allow you to live your life as you see fit. They raised you, and now, it’s up to you to live your life.
 
The Catholic Church is the One True Church of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

“Unless you hate your mother and father…” I’m sure you’ve heard that verse before. It is applicable precisely in a situation such as this, as we know it is not about hate of parents but about burning love of Christ.

If I were you, I would enter the Church in proper due course and would not needlessly delay it for anyone.

Perhaps there is also another way to look at this. If you should delay at your mother’s behest, it might send a message to her that you doubt. However, if you continue forward ignoring the behest of your mother, it would send the message that you truly do believe that The Catholic Church is the True Church. People are always watching…especially parents.

You sound like an obedient and good son, if you didn’t and sounded like a spiteful son, I wouldn’t give this advice. It is precisely because you appear obedient and good that I believe you should not delay at anyone’s behest but continue on at your own pace.

Any good parent worth their salt would ask themselves, “My son has obeyed me in all things but this? What is it about this that makes him disobey?”

Also, show your joy to your mother about this decision. It seems that you are conveying she fears your grades will suffer because of conversion preparation. If that is her lone concern, I would simply ask her to have a little faith in her son that you can walk and chew gum at the same time. Most people in college get rip roaring drunk any minute they are not in class, show up for tests hung over and many go on to still get the grade. I think converting to the Catholic Church while going to school is not only doable, but at least preferable compared to the majority of your compatriots. Yes, and I wouldn’t add that drip of sarcasm when explaining that to her, lol.
 
Faith comes first, above all. I understand. I was the first Catholic in the history of both sides of my family. Here’s the beauty … my parents came into the Church at Easter 2013. Follow the Holy Spirit. You may ultimately help bring her soul home, as well!
 
trevorhall said:
Faith comes first, above all. I understand. I was the first Catholic in the history of both sides of my family. Here’s the beauty … my parents came into the Church at Easter 2013. Follow the Holy Spirit. You may ultimately help bring her soul home, as well!
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The incredible ways The Lord uses us when we are willing to get out of the boat…

👍
 
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