Converting, worried about a first confession

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silentpro

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I am a 26 year old male, converting from protestant… I am worried about a first confession… I have done some pretty bad things… I worry as to what the out come might be if I confess these things, at the same time I understand that not confessing them has a far worse outcome

the one that concerns me the most is this: while I am NOT a homosexual, I did have oral sex performed on me by someone of the same sex… this was quite a few years back… It only happened one time, and I wish it had never happened… to be honest I have no idea why I allowed it to happen, it was nasty…

I have had sex with several women before I got married

my wife and I had sex before marriage, as well as living together

I have lived with several girl friends

our child was conceived outside of marriage, but was born after we got married

I have stolen, and cheated people out of their money

I have masterbated countless times

I have had, and sometimes still have, perverted thoughts involving many women I know

I have done perverted sexual acts, both alone and with women

I have stolen property

I understand that these sins are terrible, I have long since turned from these sins, many of them I have not repeated

I am worried that I have already sinned enough that I would get kicked out of the Church before I even got started…

(however, I have never cheated on my wife…)
 
Don’t worry about it, if you can post it to all of us here, then you can surely tell it to one person.
… the Priest who actually has taken vows to death to not hold your sins against you.

See you just practiced your confession and it seems you are pretty aware of the gravity of it all. As long as you are sorry you are forgiven, just go confess, be honest. You wont get kicked out and don’t worry most everyone has done horrible things and the Priest has heard plenty of confessions.

God Bless
Scylla
 
The previous poster summed it up rather well:thumbsup:Your list was pretty much the same as mine when i came back to the Church,with the addtion of me leaving the truth faith. You see the sacrement is called reconcillation, meaning healing not chopping off.
 
No worries. Be concise, complete, courageous.

Keep close to this sacrament. Over time, focus on root sins vs. exhaustive lists…but this looks like it will lead to a sincere confession.

The Father awaits lovingly.

God will convert your courage and sincerity into something great.
 
silentpro said:
I am a 26 year old male, converting from protestant… I am worried about a first confession… I have done some pretty bad things… I worry as to what the out come might be if I confess these things, at the same time I understand that not confessing them has a far worse outcome

the one that concerns me the most is this: while I am NOT a homosexual, I did have oral sex performed on me by someone of the same sex… this was quite a few years back… It only happened one time, and I wish it had never happened… to be honest I have no idea why I allowed it to happen, it was nasty…

I have had sex with several women before I got married

my wife and I had sex before marriage, as well as living together

I have lived with several girl friends

our child was conceived outside of marriage, but was born after we got married

I have stolen, and cheated people out of their money

I have masterbated countless times

I have had, and sometimes still have, perverted thoughts involving many women I know

I have done perverted sexual acts, both alone and with women

I have stolen property

I understand that these sins are terrible, I have long since turned from these sins, many of them I have not repeated

I am worried that I have already sinned enough that I would get kicked out of the Church before I even got started…

(however, I have never cheated on my wife…)
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Don’t worry. There is nothing you can tell the priest that he has not heard regularly before. He won’t be embarrassed or scolding.
I was 44 when I converted so you can imagine how many things I had to confess. My first confession lasted more than an hour. When you receive absolution its like a huge weight being lifted from you.
 
silentpro said:
I am a 26 year old male, converting from protestant… I am worried about a first confession… I have done some pretty bad things… I worry as to what the out come might be if I confess these things, at the same time I understand that not confessing them has a far worse outcome

the one that concerns me the most is this: while I am NOT a homosexual, I did have oral sex performed on me by someone of the same sex… this was quite a few years back… It only happened one time, and I wish it had never happened… to be honest I have no idea why I allowed it to happen, it was nasty…

I have had sex with several women before I got married

my wife and I had sex before marriage, as well as living together

I have lived with several girl friends

our child was conceived outside of marriage, but was born after we got married

I have stolen, and cheated people out of their money

I have masterbated countless times

I have had, and sometimes still have, perverted thoughts involving many women I know

I have done perverted sexual acts, both alone and with women

I have stolen property

I understand that these sins are terrible, I have long since turned from these sins, many of them I have not repeated

I am worried that I have already sinned enough that I would get kicked out of the Church before I even got started…

(however, I have never cheated on my wife…)
Click to expand...
I have done MUCH of what you described…

I recently returned to following the right path.

Returning to the Church was SO difficult for me in some ways initially… I felt like I wallowed in sin and degradation (and I TOTALLY did) for years.

I went to a Men’s Conference to begin with. It was very powerful… It felt right. Then they announced that it was time for Reconciliation… My heart dropped to the bottom of my feet… I was nervous… Thinking after 7 years… How could I possibly sum up all of the wrong I have done and not have this priest want to just throw me off a balcony.

I just manned up.

At first when I said it has been 7 years since my last confession the priest began lecturing me about the importance of going monthly if not weekly to confession… I had to interrupt and explain that it had been 7 years since I had allowed myself to be close to God at all and that this was my first attempt to return.

His demeanor completely changed… I told him about all the terrible sins… I could tell that he could see all the torment these sins caused me… He was SO positive. He put his hand on my shoulder and said:“Offer all this repentance to God and move forward in peace.”

And life does move forward. If what you say is true, then you have already moved forward in many ways.

Do it. Go in there, and tell him everything. You will feel lighter… It felt like I was superman walking out of there…
 
The most important thing is to “unload” your sins. The best thing is that the Priest has heard these all before I doubt that he will run screaming from the confessional 😛
And I’m sure that it wont be the last time either. You will be very nervous but will feel so much better. Oh by the way WELCOME HOME!!!👍
 
Silentpro;
It is good that you have the emotions you are experiencing, as Confession should be the opposite of sin. As we sin in pride, in secret and for self satisfaction, confession is in humility and before a priest which can be personally embarassing at times. So, emotionally you are correct in your feelings.
However, that being said, do not extrapolate your emotions to the priest, for he has very different emotions. He is not embarassed as he has heard it many times before and he is feeling the presence of JESUS as you confess and is remembering the many stories of compassion and mercy which JESUS gave to those who confessed sins in the Bible. He is the LORD’s mercy upon you.
Finally, upon leaving the confession, you will be so relieved that it will the most amazing emotion you can experience - to know that GOD has heard you, and forgiven you.

One additional comment for you to research and reconsider, but since you made it public, your “…and still have perverted thoughts of many women I know” does not sit well with your comment that you have not cheated on your wife.
In the NT JESUS made it clear that to “think” a sin is to commit the sin. This is a difficult struggle for many and I have found that calling upon the prayer of St. Michael the Archangel at the time of the “thought” has been a true and successful weapon in overcoming that weakness.
 
Sunflake9 said:
The most important thing is to “unload” your sins. The best thing is that the Priest has heard these all before I doubt that he will run screaming from the confessional 😛
And I’m sure that it wont be the last time either. You will be very nervous but will feel so much better. Oh by the way WELCOME HOME!!!👍
Click to expand...
I can see it now… lol priest runs out of the room, ears literally burning, smoke everywhere… screaming, “My ears, My ears! Oh Lord please!!!” lol
 
Julian0404 said:
One additional comment for you to research and reconsider, but since you made it public, your “…and still have perverted thoughts of many women I know” does not sit well with your comment that you have not cheated on your wife.
In the NT JESUS made it clear that to “think” a sin is to commit the sin. This is a difficult struggle for many and I have found that calling upon the prayer of St. Michael the Archangel at the time of the “thought” has been a true and successful weapon in overcoming that weakness.
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you are right, in fact I recall a part of the bible that says thinking about adultery is the same as the physical act of adultery

I see you are in Kansas? I am in Missouri
 
Don’t worry about your confession. Use the screen, if one is available, so you do not need to speak to the priest face-to-face. I find the screen is much easier. Remember, there is nothing that you could say that the priest has not heard before. Now if you forget to tell the priest something, not intentionally, it is still forgiven. If you were unaware that any of these were sins and just learned otherwise, make sure you tell the priest. Lastly, don’t forget the priest is just the vehicle… it is really Christ who is listening to you confess and He is already aware you have done.

After confession, you will feel a great sense of relief while all of the angels, in Heaven, rejoice that another sinner has repented and come back to the Church.

When I go to confession I begin the with following, which helps me relax and focus on the gravity of my sins. I find it is much easier to have a good confession when I use this prayer.
Bless me Father for I have sinned.

I confess to almighty God, to Blessed Mary ever Virgin, to blessed Michael the Archangel, to blessed John the Baptist, to the holy apostles Peter and Paul, and to all the saints that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word and deed; through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault.

Father, it has been… since my last confession.

I accuse myself of the following sins…

Father, for these and all of the sins of my past life, I am heartily sorry, begging pardon of God and absolution of you.

Therefore, I beseech Blessed Mary ever Virgin, blessed Michael the Archangel, blessed John the Baptist, the holy apostles Peter and Paul, and all the saints, to pray for me to the Lord our God.
 
silentpro said:
I am a 26 year old male, converting from protestant… I am worried about a first confession… I have done some pretty bad things… I worry as to what the out come might be if I confess these things, at the same time I understand that not confessing them has a far worse outcome

the one that concerns me the most is this: while I am NOT a homosexual, I did have oral sex performed on me by someone of the same sex… this was quite a few years back… It only happened one time, and I wish it had never happened… to be honest I have no idea why I allowed it to happen, it was nasty…

I have had sex with several women before I got married

my wife and I had sex before marriage, as well as living together

I have lived with several girl friends

our child was conceived outside of marriage, but was born after we got married

I have stolen, and cheated people out of their money

I have masterbated countless times

I have had, and sometimes still have, perverted thoughts involving many women I know

I have done perverted sexual acts, both alone and with women

I have stolen property

I understand that these sins are terrible, I have long since turned from these sins, many of them I have not repeated

I am worried that I have already sinned enough that I would get kicked out of the Church before I even got started…

(however, I have never cheated on my wife…)
Click to expand...
Yeah my list was pretty much identical to yours with the exception of one thing. Don’t worry, you’re not going to say anything the priest hasn’t heard countless times. I’m not minimizing the gravity of these sins, but the reality is we are all sinful people. The Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
 
Welcome Home! No worries about your first confession. You will be well prepared by your RCIA team on the process and what to expect. Usually, the class will go as a group, or if not, you should tell the priest that this is your first confession, and he will help you through it. Not to sound flipant or dismissive, but I think you have a pretty average list for someone who is making their first confession and you can be sure that the priest will hear everything you tell him several more times from others. The good news is that once you go, and receive absolution, these sins will be no more in your life! You will not get kicked out of the Church or denied the sacrements because of this confession. We are delighted to have you in our Faith Community!
 
silentpro said:
I can see it now… lol priest runs out of the room, ears literally burning, smoke everywhere… screaming, “My ears, My ears! Oh Lord please!!!” lol
Click to expand...
There was a scene on a TV police drama years back (don’t know what the show was, I only saw it by channel surfing). The cops had this convict ‘confess’ a crime to a priest since he wouldn’t confess to the cops, and the priest’s reaction was definately what doesn’t happen. Ears steaming, face beat red, he lunges over the table, grabs the convict by the collar and has a few… “choice words” (that’s putting it nicely) while the cop has to restrain the priest. :eek:

Obviously, a first confession won’t wind up like that.
 
Julian0404 said:
Silentpro;
It is good that you have the emotions you are experiencing, as Confession should be the opposite of sin. As we sin in pride, in secret and for self satisfaction, confession is in humility and before a priest which can be personally embarassing at times. So, emotionally you are correct in your feelings.
However, that being said, do not extrapolate your emotions to the priest, for he has very different emotions. He is not embarassed as he has heard it many times before and he is feeling the presence of JESUS as you confess and is remembering the many stories of compassion and mercy which JESUS gave to those who confessed sins in the Bible. He is the LORD’s mercy upon you.
Finally, upon leaving the confession, you will be so relieved that it will the most amazing emotion you can experience - to know that GOD has heard you, and forgiven you.

One additional comment for you to research and reconsider, but since you made it public, your “…and still have perverted thoughts of many women I know” does not sit well with your comment that you have not cheated on your wife.
In the NT JESUS made it clear that to “think” a sin is to commit the sin. This is a difficult struggle for many and I have found that calling upon the prayer of St. Michael the Archangel at the time of the “thought” has been a true and successful weapon in overcoming that weakness.
Click to expand...
Thats partly correct. Certainly if you think lustfully about someone and dwell on these thoughts for pleasure that would be a grave sin.
However, if you think about stealing a car but do not carry out the act then you have not committed a grave sin.
 
thistle said:
Thats partly correct. Certainly if you think lustfully about someone and dwell on these thoughts for pleasure that would be a grave sin.
However, if you think about stealing a car but do not carry out the act then you have not committed a grave sin.
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And if the other person (the one being thought about) is married does this increase the sin, breaking two commandments?
]One never knows now days maybe the person had the hots for the car and got married to it.😃
 
thistle said:
Thats partly correct. Certainly if you think lustfully about someone and dwell on these thoughts for pleasure that would be a grave sin.
However, if you think about stealing a car but do not carry out the act then you have not committed a grave sin.
Click to expand...
o there is a difference between a ‘passing dirty thought’ and dirty thoughts that are dwelled on? :confused:
 
ok so Matthew 5:28 tells us this:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

pretty cut and dry really

and as the person above mentioned… if it is nother man’s wife you have further compouned the issue:

Exodus 20:17

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ***, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbour’s.

those 2 verses go together for sure
 
Yes, there is certainly a difference between the temptation and the actual commitment of the act in your mind\heart. We all get tempted but to act on it is the problem.

It is perfectly natural to notice a beautiful woman, but to keep your eyes on her and entertain impure thoughts, is committing a sin. We have senses that react to stimuli, but we have a mind that can control our reaction after we notice the stimulus.

I can notice my neighbors possessions as something nice, but to become jealous and desire them as mine is wrong. Be happy for what your neighbor has and be content with what you have.

God Bless
Scylla
 
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