Converts and Former Skeptics

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I would like to hear your stories, if you care to share. I’m in RCIA, praying, going to church, appreciating the fellowship, etc., but I haven’t really seen the light. I feel myself slipping back into existentialism/secular humanism. How did you turn the corner? Thanks.
 
Hi Hoosier 👋 God bless you and give you strength. I am not a convert… but I am a revert. I am a Cradle Catholic… who fell away for about 10 years. I’ve been back for 4 years… and will never leave “Home” again.

I would highly recommend to you… that you pray the Rosary and develop a close bond with Our Blessed Mother. She will help you. She always leads us to Her Son, Jesus.

It was through Her intercession, that I returned to the practice of our faith. And through Her intercession, that I am able to continue.

You are in my prayers.
 
Thanks. I’m not sure how to pray the rosary. I say prayers in church and private prayers.

I’ve always, even at my most agnostic, tried to live by the Golden Rule. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or be “evil.” Just don’t have much faith.

I have to go now because I’m on a computer at work, but I appreciate your reply.
 
Hoosier said:
I would like to hear your stories, if you care to share. I’m in RCIA, praying, going to church, appreciating the fellowship, etc., but I haven’t really seen the light. I feel myself slipping back into existentialism/secular humanism. How did you turn the corner? Thanks.
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In a word, prayer.

I’m another “revert” like MarieVeronica. I was a cradle Catholic who had not been brought up to attend Mass every Sunday, so as an adult the pattern continued until December 2007, when I resolved to go every Sunday and Holy Day in 2008.

Daily prayer is what helped me turn the corner. For my entire life prayer had been about talking to a God I didn’t know, who was way off in the sky somewhere. I could only pray for about 5 minutes at a time at first, because it was all I could stand. I would even watch the clock wanting it to be over.

That five minutes a day quickly started to expand and then I found myself actually enjoying spending time with God who was no longer way off in Heaven, and not just present in the room, but present in my soul. And little by little, I started to get to know Him. “Seeing the light” for me was actually having a relationship with God. Just like any other relationship, in order to become close to someone, you have to spend time with them.
 
Being honest with God really helped me. For the longest I wavered between denying God’s existance or being really mad and still ignoring Him. Someone suggested that I should be honest with Him, because He made me, and already knew I was at that time doubting his existance. One of my first prayers after hearing that was “God, I really don’t believe you exist, and even if you do exist, I don’t really like you”. After praying that for awhile, I felt much less angrier towards Him, and started really feeling His presence for the first time in my life. I converted 6 months after that, and now, a year later, I feel like I have come home.

Keep praying even if you still doubt. Like another poster said, it takes time to build up a relationship, but I can say it’s worth the effort.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
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