Converts (or Lone Practicing Catholics) in Anti-Catholic Families: Can Anyone Talk?

[iwillrisenow]

Hello…I am a convert who is in a non-Catholic family (ranging from atheist to vaguely Protestant). My family has been OK with my conversion…on the surface…but recently, I’m starting to see more and more little jabs from them that indicate that they are not OK with it at all. There is a very particular dynamic in my family that I will not mention here, but if anyone else has dealt with being a convert in a…complicated family situation and would be willing to talk a bit over PM…please let me know.

For now, on this thread, the question is: how do you cope with constant anti-Catholicism in work, social settings, media, and then, on top of that, within your own family? Most days I just brush it off but eventually I realize that this is deep and serious. I’m not theologically gifted enough to be an apologist. I’m not a favorite or anything like that and, thus, have no influence. But I realize that it is a deep issue that I may someday have to face down (if I should be so lucky)…yet I have no idea what to do about it here on earth.

*I should mention that I’m an adult that doesn’t have to live with family…right now…praying that this remains the case.

 

[pensmama87]

My family is not as anti-Catholic as some (they’re more just apathetic to everything), but I find that distance works wonders. I took advantage of opportunities to become independent as soon as they arose and now most of my family lives very far away. Some people would say that’s sad, but honestly, it would be much harder on me if they were closer (partially because things would probably be the same, and there would be no distance to blame it on. )

My husband is one of the few practicing Catholics left in his family. We are much more involved with his family because they are local, but we have gotten really involved with our parish and found practicing Catholic friends through activities so we don’t feel so isolated when it comes to living out our beliefs.

 

[Bannan]

I am theologically gifted enough to be an apologist, and I can tell you that it takes a lot more than sound theology to evangelize. For in that arena I’m a miserable failure who’s only been able to heap up punishment for myself and come in-between others journey to Christ. Well, maybe that’s too over-arching of a statement, but for me its been accurate plenty of times.

I think the best thing to do is not to focus on what they do or how they treat you at all. Focus yourself on Christ and imitate him, remember always his presence. Accept the painful jabs without paying them back, almost nobody is going to repent (change their mind) if you go in there swinging sound judgement in response to an assault. If they actually are ready, then they wouldn’t be sending painful jabs your direction anyway.

You speak to them always, even if you say nothing. The best thing to ‘say’ often is to remain silent, like Jesus before Herod, because sometimes when you are quiet enough, the other person can have a chance to hear God instead. If they ask questions, answer them, but unless they are genuinely asking and not looking for a fight - speak instead with your actions in love.

It’s always deep and serious, those moments when you happen to notice greater seriousness, greater depth, to me it just sounds like those moments are temptations from the devil to get you to respond from a position of wrath. Even if it’s disguised in the form of benevolent tutorship, at its core it really is just an act of selfish personal justification before men, and vengeful, at that.

You pray for me to be able to resist those temptations when they come and I’ll pray for you

 

[mountee]

Anti-Catholic sentiment is something that we all have to encounter in this day and age and there are ways to deal with it. Whether you are confronted by friends, family or co-workers I firmly believe that one of the greatest things you can do to combat the negativity towards the faith is to live a good, Godly life and show how happy your faith makes you. Try to show compassion, love and patience in all circumstances and be at peace in your day to day life because your faith sustains you. Then those critical will begin to see how happy and good your life is because you are a faithful Catholic. And, try to learn everything you can about what we believe and why we believe it so that when challenged you will be fortified with the ability to answer questions.

 

[MyLittlPwn13]

I’m from a family with an interesting religious mix. I converted as soon as I left my parents’ house and am currently the only Christian in my immediate family. (I say “currently” because my dad’s getting married to a Catholic in June ) I have been more faithful in some years than others because of this.

Here are some things that work for me. With my family, I look for common ground. For example, my husband is a fairly outspoken atheist. We leave each other to our opinions on that–I’ll pray my Rosary while he listens to an atheist podcast on his headphones and we have just made the decision not to argue about it. We have very similar ideas on social justice and simple living, though, and even though they come from different realms of moral understanding, we really want the same things. We enjoy coming together where we can.

My extended family is Mormon. Again, the theological understanding is a lot different, but we have very similar ideas about family and what we want for ours. So, we sing songs and discuss PowerPoint and regulatory compliance in healthcare (like I said, I have an interesting family). We enjoy each other’s company without having to discuss Mary or the nature of Christ.

Work might be a different animal. While at work, I keep my discussion to work, not religion. Anyone who’s paying attention will know that I’m Catholic (I wear a crucifix, I’m taking leave on Good Friday, etc.), but that’s not what we’re there to talk about. If your co-workers’ jabs are too harsh, take it up with HR.

 

[Johann_du_Toit]

My mother was supportive of my conversion. My sister is somewhat apathetic though not hostile.

My brother in law is not hostile to my Catholic faith as such , but he disagrees vehemently on the Church’s positions on a number of issues, (such as abortion, embryonic stem cell research, euthanasia, eugenics, etc) and we have had very livid quarrels about same.

A cousin of mine is an Evangelical Christian, and originally he was very hostile because he believed wrongly that Catholics “don’t put a lot of emphasis on Jesus” and “worship Mary”.
Once I explained to him the central role that Jesus plays in the Church (through inter alia the Eucharist and prayer of the Rosary, to give a few examples) and that we venerate (not worship) Mary, not in the place of Christ, but because Christ commanded us to accept her as a mother figure and intercessor, he came to accept my conversion.

Almost all of the hostility towards Catholicism I have encountered is from people who have a misguided interpretation of Catholicism. Most of the time if you sit down with those people and explain to them the truth, they generally drop their hostility.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I converted as a teenager in a family that was mostly hostile. My in-laws are not openly hostile, but they think it is all stupid.

I suggest you don’t discuss it unless you see that a person is genuinely interested. Answer questions, show people how happy you are living your faith and that it is making you a better person.

And pray a lot for strength to deal with all that.

 

[Estevao]

Yeah I’m the only person in my immediate family who takes Catholicism or any religion seriously. Stay in a state of grace and try to not freak out, that doesn’t make people see the error of their ways. Try to slowly grow in apologetic acumen, but don’t throw your pearls before swine. It helps me to remember that anti-catholicism is a hatred that is 400+ years old in the english-speaking world, that kind of ingrained bigotry doesn’t disappear in just one or two generations. Forgive them, they know not what they do. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us and all that.

You might like this site for particularly catholic religion apologetics:

radioreplies.info/

 

[switalabe]

You could look to the Beatitudes:

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.h Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

usccb.org/bible/matthew/5:11