converts to the Catholic Church: how to tell family?

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EIF5A

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Hello,

For those of you who converted but your family remains [fill in blank of Christian persuasion], how did you tell them? Did you drop hints during RCIA or catechism or tell them after baptism into the Church?

I’d love to hear your stories of coming out into the Church. 🙂
 
Early, first of all. Don’t wait until you’re about to walk up the aisle for your Confirmation and First Holy Communion to spring it on them. And definitely don’t wait until afterwards.

Include them in your journey, and share your discoveries with them as you’re making them. Keep them in the loop.

Your family loves you, and they are interested in you, and for the most part, they aren’t going to condemn you for becoming a Catholic. In most cases, they’ll take a step back and say, “Oh. I didn’t know real people actually did things like that.” And then they’ll be curious, and ask a lot of questions, and possibly even convert themselves. 🙂
 
My maternal grandmother converted to the Catholic Church (from paganism), but I think my parents were like, “Well, better than not converting.” They would have preferred the Protestant church. I never really got the story of how/why she converted, but thank God she did before she passed away.

I did mention once that I was thinking of the Catholic Church, but I got the expected “Their view of Mary…is slightly off.” Didn’t want to start an argument over the phone so I changed topic.

Also, I have to come out again as someone who is gay/has same-sex attraction (or whatever the Christian phrase is these days). Being single and never getting married — that I did mention on multiple occasions in person.

Imagine if/when they find out I’m not going to have a family and might join the Catholic Church :hypno:
 
I went on a retreat not really realizing I’d convert but started wearing a medal the priest gave me to wear. Sometime after that I mentioned to my parents that I would be taking some classes to learn about the Catholic faith because I had some questions. Then after a time I let them know there were many things I was learning that made sense to me. Shortly after this I told them I decided to become Catholic but wasn’t sure when. I let them know when I knew when and became Catholic! They weren’t at all surprised. I’ve had quite a few questions before and after my conversion. I still have many questions asked.

mlz
 
I just told my mom. Her mom is a lapsed Catholic, so it wasn’t THAT big of a deal for her. Her mom’s side is all Catholic. It was the other people in my family that I was worried about. My aunt, who is like a bff to me. We are only 5 years apart, asked me about it. She was like, “So I saw on Facebook that you have been posting saint quotes. Are you a Catholic now?” It was over Christmas and I told her well, no, not yet. 😃 Her and my uncle had a few questions like was it true that I could do whatever I want and just go to confession and what was up with our “prayer beads” They weren’t trying to be ugly. We grew up in an area that has very few Catholics, so it is just foreign to them.

I will be going back home in October and everyone knows that I will be going to my church while they are going to theirs. I thought it was going to be a bigger deal than what it has been. Even my Baptist preacher, from back home, still talks to me. :p:D
 
How to tell? As gentle as you can. My family, and I am all grown up and was beyond my mid forties, was not too happy about it. Why I don’t know, but I reckon people who don’t know enough think we Catholics are some sort of exclusive and “secret” club who start to convert people as soon as we can. And then there are those who just simply don’t like Catholics.
 
EIF5A said:
Hello,

For those of you who converted but your family remains [fill in blank of Christian persuasion], how did you tell them? Did you drop hints during RCIA or catechism or tell them after baptism into the Church?

I’d love to hear your stories of coming out into the Church. 🙂
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I started attended Mass at the age of 12. I would walk about 3 miles to Mass because no one would take me. I was often grounded for going, but that never stopped me. When ya know ya know right? lol

Eventually my parents respected my wanting to become Catholic. They did not like it at the time but yet they still respected my dedication. I just came out and told them I wanted to be Catholic. It was not something one should be ashamed of or keep hidden. Later on in life when my wife converted, she actually had it easier than I did because her family are mostly Episcopalian minus her sisters(Methodist).
 
EIF5A said:
Hello,

For those of you who converted but your family remains [fill in blank of Christian persuasion], how did you tell them? Did you drop hints during RCIA or catechism or tell them after baptism into the Church?

I’d love to hear your stories of coming out into the Church. 🙂
Click to expand...
Keep in mind that pretty much all religious people know some converts. Many (most?) of us know some people who converted from Protestant to Catholic and some people who converted from Catholic to Protestant … but bottom line, it might be helpful if you bring up the topic of conversion in general, rather the specific Protestant to Catholic topic. That makes it harder from them to compartmentalize their minds like “Converting in this direction is wonderful, but converting in this direction is being a child of the devil.” 😉
 
Peter_J said:
Keep in mind that pretty much all religious people know some converts. Many (most?) of us know some people who converted from Protestant to Catholic and some people who converted from Catholic to Protestant … but bottom line, it might be helpful if you bring up the topic of conversion in general, rather the specific Protestant to Catholic topic. That makes it harder from them to compartmentalize their minds like “Converting in this direction is wonderful, but converting in this direction is being a child of the devil.” 😉
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Ah, good point!

We’re all journeying here and there and everywhere, but all our final destination is salvation 🙂
 
EIF5A said:
Ah, good point!

We’re all journeying here and there and everywhere, but all our final destination is salvation 🙂
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Thanks. 🙂 My experience has been that the most difficult people to speak with about conversions are the people who completely separate Catholic-to-Protestant conversions and Protestant-to-Catholic conversions in their minds. (Or Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, etc as the case may be.)
 
I wouldn’t know, since I’ve yet to tell any family about my intentions. I haven’t been able to attend Mass regularly for external reasons. (Basically I’m still too young to drive, and there’s no way my parents would let me walk to any church… ever.) I also am still a few years too young to start the conversion process (maybe I could, but I feel like it would be more likely to work if I wait around a yr in a half when I turn 16), so I have been holding off. I do know when I want to tell though, and if all goes well it will come out next summer; assuming it doesn’t come out before then. 🙂
 
EIF5A said:
Hello,

For those of you who converted but your family remains [fill in blank of Christian persuasion], how did you tell them? Did you drop hints during RCIA or catechism or tell them after baptism into the Church?

I’d love to hear your stories of coming out into the Church. 🙂
Click to expand...
Try this forum of potential converts…chnetwork.org/
 
I had such a fear of my family and their rejection that I never did tell them, they had to discover for themselves. At first I joined the Episcopal church since they are part Catholic and part Protestant. That did not work since they considered their sect to be the world’s ONLY Christians.

They did reject me being extreme anti Catholics operating under Protestant prejudice. You know the drill “pagan idol worshippers, and Mary worshippers”. They disowned and disinherited me saying “I had left Christ and his only 'true” church".

So I went all the way and converted Catholic, and found my real family. Orthodoxy came later, but I still kept my Catholicism.
 
andrewstx said:
I had such a fear of my family and their rejection that I never did tell them, they had to discover for themselves. At first I joined the Episcopal church since they are part Catholic and part Protestant. That did not work since they considered their sect to be the world’s ONLY Christians.
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I had to read this ^^ twice, because at first I thought you were saying that Episcopalians consider their sect to be the world’s only Christians. But now I see what you’re saying.

But anyhow, this relates to something I often wonder about. Namely, out of Protestants who are considering becoming catholic, but are undecided about Anglicanism vs. Catholicism vs. Orthodoxy, whether many go ahead and become Anglican figuring that they might later leave it.
 
I completely shocked my parents when my husband and I told them we were leaving Mormonism and becoming Catholic. I think it was leaving the faith tradition they raised me in to be the most difficult to handle. Studying Catholicism seemed to be a side note to rejecting Mormonism and becoming an “apostate”. At first, they felt we were rejecting them when we rejected Mormonism.

It is getting better but at this point we don’t really talk about religion. I’m not sure what they will do when our children are baptized soon or when I am baptized next Easter. I suspect they will ignore and refuse to listen about our new faith.

Let them know, but it you should be gentle and prepare them. That will make it easier.
 
EIF5A said:
Hello,

For those of you who converted but your family remains [fill in blank of Christian persuasion], how did you tell them? Did you drop hints during RCIA or catechism or tell them after baptism into the Church?

I’d love to hear your stories of coming out into the Church. 🙂
Click to expand...
God has led me to the Catholic church in the most subtle hints and the most gentle persuasions. I would like to think it was a smooth transition of my faith, but since I was raised in an anti-Catholic religion that is, and should be considered a cult religion, I have been able to confide in no one, much as I want to. However as much as I believe God is drawing me to become Catholic, I cannot tell any of my family (I think it would be easier to come out as gay than Catholic).
 
iepuras said:
I completely shocked my parents when my husband and I told them we were leaving Mormonism and becoming Catholic. I think it was leaving the faith tradition they raised me in to be the most difficult to handle. Studying Catholicism seemed to be a side note to rejecting Mormonism and becoming an “apostate”.
Click to expand...
Right. Catholics, Orthodox, and Protestants (or at least, the more traditional Protestants) share a basic understanding of what it means to be Christian. Since Mormons are not trintarian/Nicene Christians, they would presumably be about equally bothered whether you became Catholic, Orthodox, or Protestant.
 
My mother is a Methodist as am/was I. My father is an atheist & we are estranged from one another. Everyone I have ever known is of a protestant faith & no one I ever knew has ever had anything positive to say about the Catholic faith. However, my wife attended the Catholic Church as a little girl before her parents were divorced & lost their faith before aligning themselves with the Methodist & other protestant churches. She has seen my struggle to understand God & to be pleasing to Him these past 14 years that we have been together. She recently asked me if I had ever prayed to God instead of leaning on my own understanding.

Once I prayed, I started looking into the Catholic faith & felt like I had been blinded by the ignorance I had experienced. My wife is my complement & believes in me. She said she was also feeling compelled to learn more about the Catholic church. Our extended families will undoubtedly have the same strong objections to our seeking truth in the one faith we were all told not to divide from, as we have heard them say for most of our lives.

My mother will be here to visit with my daughter in one or two more hours. I will be telling her that I am going to visit St. Patrick’s Catholic Church with an acquaintance of my wife, who has invited me to speak with a pastoral associate there. I feel like I am going home to meet the family I have been separated from since birth. My wife is also elated. I am certain that my mother wont be happy for us, but I want her to know now that “As for me and my family, we will worship the Lord,” in His house. She wont be the only family member we expect to object, but if she does object, she will be the most passionate.

But, who knows? God’s ways are not my ways & I cannot understand or predict what He has planned. Maybe my mom will have a reaction that I wont expect. Thanks for reading & God bless!
 
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