Converts vs. Cradle Catholics

[Irish_Eyes_826]

Having read these boards for several months I’ve noticed that many converts seem much more enthusiastic about being Catholic than those of us who grew up in the Church. (Not to say there are not many wonderful, devout cradle Catholics out there, so don’t start on that topic.) Many Catholic converts are really into things like the TLM, rosaries, novenas, and the many aspects unique to the Catholic faith. My question for converts is, what makes you so enthusiastic about being Catholic? Is it because you actually chose the faith for yourself? I’m pretty honest about where I am in my Catholic faith right now, it’s just something I was born into and that I kind of, sort of believe in . Could any converts out there answer this? I must admit I’m both jealous and surprised (in a good way) by your faith and enthusiasm.

 

[Red_in_205]

There’s an old saying that’s proven true in a lot of different areas of life: “There is no zealot like a convert.”

You’re noticing a very real phenomenon, and I think there are a few factors at work here. First, people tend to have a greater feeling of “ownership” when they choose to take on a particular identity. Converts can point to a particular event, person, or realization that led them to choose their religious identity, and they can take pride in making a serious and lasting decision. Compare this to people who feel like they never really had a choice in their religious identity in the first place, and it’s no wonder that you often see more intense expressions of religion from converts. Second, some people who are converts feel like they have to defend their decision to their families and friends. People are going to ask them questions or maybe even persecute them for deciding to be different. They need a deeper understanding of their new religious identity in order to answer these questions, and they might become extremely involved in their new religious community to make up for any feelings of rejection from their old community.

I’ve totally been where you are right now in terms of looking at other people’s faith and asking myself “What’s going on with these people? Why are they so into this?” If you’re honest enough to admit to yourself that you’re jealous of someone else’s faith and enthusiasm, then you ought to act on that feeling. Build up your faith by learning more about what you believe and why. Make some definite goals to educate yourself and learn from other people. There are a lot of resources right here on the site that can point you in the right directions.

Trust me, it feels awesome to develop your faith and learn more about what you believe and why. It’s like the good feeling you get from putting in time at the gym and seeing the results over time. And just like you’re never done exercising or learning, you also never get “finished” with growing your spiritual life.

 

[Irish_Eyes_826]

Thank you for that very insightful post. I definitely see what you mean about having a greater sense of ownership and identity. Having been raised Catholic I cannot pick particular moments when I experienced a great feeling of faith or calling to Catholicism, nor can I pick the particular moment when I lost faith.
I often find myself waking up or leaving mass saying, “God, today I am going to start living for You.” Later that day I’m usually saying, “God, I can explain…”

 

[Aelred_Minor]

I think another thing to keep in mind is the vigorous attitude it generally takes towards religion to realize you are in the wrong church, and to have the courage and follow-through to make the switch you come to believe is necessary. A lot of the difference in attitude may often really come both logically and temporally prior to the person’s conversion.

All this is obviously averages at best though. There are lukewarm converts and enthusiastic cradle-Catholics.

 

[Usige]

Based on my own experiences and talking to other converts/reverts it’s less about taking ownership of a decision as it it better catechesis.

For instance neither my wife or I were born/raised in the Catholic church. When my wife decided she was going to join the Church I was actually fairly furious. I spent the next 3 years trying to learn enough to prove her wrong. In the end I found that there was really nothing I could dispute after continuous study. In the end my 3 year quest to “show her” ended up being my path to conversion. It was only later that I learned she gave up ever communion for those 3 years praying for my conversion.

I think many cradle Catholics are just oblivious to the beauty of their faith. So many skip through their religious ed classes, but never truly see the beauty and fullness of the Catholic faith. It’s a little like me and the mountains. I have grown up looking at the Rocky Mountains my whole life, so it always is surprising to me when someone mentions their majesty to me. It’s only when I stop and truly look at them that I remember what a gorgeous thing God made for us.

 

[lawrencemontour]

I am a cradle Catholic and when I was younger also lost my way. I decided I was going to study other religions not just Judeo-Christian. I looked at Eastern and other beliefs. I stopped attending mass. My father was very devoted to the church. When he got sick and and was on his deathbed I saw the joy in his pain wracked face when the Priest arrived for last rites. When he passed I went to the local Catholic Church to pray and cry and remember my father. I sat and looked and saw all the things and settings I had grown up with. The traditions and beauties of the church washed over me. I felt my father next to me. I knew I was home. Now I follow in the faith of my father and have become again a devoted Catholic. I learned the faith and its traditions. I learned why we believe what we believe. I never miss a mass and always feel my father sitting next to me.
I moved to an area where the Catholic faith was not prominent, the South of the USA. But we are growing and have many converts. I see the fervor some have but there are cons also. Some converts have tried to bring Protestant thoughts in our Church. Our parrish committee is all converts. We have had mailings regarding tithing. Our church interior looks more Protestant than Catholic. My mom came to visit and thought I had brought her to a reformist church. I guess it is just all a process and education. And I am thankful for our new converts and the new love they bring.

 

[beth40n2]

I did not grown up in any church. When I had Jesus presented to me in a Pentecostal church that I was invited to, the excitement was presented to me. The person who prayed a salvation prayer with me was a fairly new Christian. There was a huge number of people baptised by immersion the night I was. When I came up out that water at 20 years old I was unfire for Jesus. The desire to read the word was so strong that I had tunnel vision. I have sence that day been unfire for Jesus. Even though I married a United Methodist and tried that church which for me was an introduction to the sacrament and heirachy of the church, I continued to learn.

When the Lord put is upon my heart to start studying early church history, the craving for truth became even stronger. Seeing how much heritage the church has for 1500 hundred years before the reformation has made me even more in love with Jesus. Converting to Catholic is not easy. When fallen away Catholics go to a protestant church of they are welcomed with open arms. But when you tell protestants you are converting to Catholic, they think you are nuts, and I went through major persecution. I lost all of my friends, I almost lost my marriage and my kids. I had to put up my whole life for Jesus and in following Him and the truth, I have come through this stronger and will tons of knowledge of the faith. I am still learning more of this faith after 7 years. My husband and kids still do not like the fact that I converted and they will not step a foot in a Catholic church, they know I love Jesus, as I have been very verbal about it.

I made sure when I joined this church, I knew what I was doing. My CCD kids think I am weird that I have read the whole Catechism, but when you make a vow, equal to a marriage vow, it is for life. I am here to stay, and everyone in my ways know I am Catholic and very proud of it.

Sorry if I got a little long winded.

 

[Red_in_205]

I’m sure the vast majority of Christians who are honest with themselves feel the same way you do about not living up to our goals. The only real advice I can offer you comes from my own mistakes:

1. I’m really bad about trying to do things by myself. It’s very, very hard to improve your spiritual life without support from small groups of other committed people in similar situations. Use your church to find a group or class that you’ll actually look forward to attending.
2. I built up obstacles in my own mind by telling myself that learning more about what I believed was going to be “hard.” I made the process harder than it had to be because I forgot that God actually wants me to succeed.
3. You can’t forget the basics. I can’t get anywhere when I forget about doing the obvious stuff. You have to go to church, read the Bible a little bit each day, pray regularly, and do something to serve other people.

Remember, it’s like exercise. Nobody’s ever “done,” but it’s fun to get better.

 

[caranbest]

I think that those of us who chose to be Catholic are aware of the concious decision that we made.

 

[Irish_Eyes_826]

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone. I definitely agree with a lot of your points. However, I often notice people citing poor catechism as the reason most Catholics leave the Church. While agree this in some respects is true, it is not the case for me.
I am very well catechized. I have a good understanding of the Church’s history and the in’s and out’s of it’s workings. However, I have simply not yet come to believe in the Church. I learned all those things because I was told to and because I was graded on my knowledge of those topics. I received the sacraments because my family told me to and because it was culturally expected. Currently l have many philosophical, scientific, and personal issues that keep me away from the Church. I often look at people who have just converted or are just very devout and wish I could feel the way they do about religion, but because of experiences in my upbringing, I just can’t.
@Red: I am currently a part of a small group “Christian living community” that meets once a week on campus. It’s helping tremendously. I am also considering minoring in Theology because I am really enjoying my current GE theology class.

 

[JRKH]

If you don’t mind a revert popping in here, I’ll offer my :twocents:

Think of a young person who has grown up rich. Big comfortable house full of art, and room after room of marble, fine furniture and treasures, a bowling alley in the basement, indoor pool big kitchen with every sort of delicacy you could ask for.
This person has grown up surrounded by all of these things never been hungry, never been cold, never really even asked about the paintings or other treasures and barely even notices them anymore.
Now this person brings home a friend they just met who is not rich and never been exposed to all of this treasure. The friend walks in and is just overwhelmed by all of the riches…everything catches the eye and a thousand questions pour forth about this piece of furniture, that painting, where does this door lead to and so on…

With this image in mind, consider…
We Cradle Catholics grow up surrounded by the riches of our faith. From little on we know about Christ, we know about the many devotions to Mary, the Sacred heart, Adoration, the Mass, Novena’s etc…We are so use to these things that many/most take them for granted.
But a convert…
They see the great richness of the Church with new eyes - and when they are told that all this richness is available to them…why they delve right in…and some wonder why we cradle Catholics are so matter-of-fact about the faith.

Anyway that is the image I work with.

Peace
James

 

[Usige]

However, I often notice people citing poor catechism as the reason most Catholics leave the Church. While agree this in some respects is true, it is not the case for me.

Irish Eyes, I should clarify when I say catechized I am not just talking about reciting facts. Failure to internalize for many people is because they are told to learn something by rote memorization but are never taught to ask why. Faith is not something you know, but accepting that which you can’t know. That’s why we call things mysteries.

I spent many years away from any religion because I couldn’t prove it. I have degrees in math and computer science so anything that did not meet scientific scrutiny was immediately suspect in my eyes. It was only after I set aside my doubts and sure knowledge that I could know everything that things started to change for me.

Faith is like the difference between knowledge and wisdom. I can give you knowledge, but wisdom can only come from within. The same with faith; until you can internalize it it is just a bunch of rules and stories.

 

[IrishRush]

As a cradle Catholic who is also a revert, I feel such fervor for my faith now. But my fervor comes, I think, because God chooses to make Himself so obvious to me. I can’t ignore Him when he does everything but post a billboard saying, “Hey! I’m right here!” on almost a daily basis.
Seriously, He nudged me and nudged me for years in the right direction, despite the fact that I shoved back against those nudges. I will be forever grateful that He didn’t give up on me and just kept right on nudging.
So I guess my best advice is to pay attention when something is telling you to put yourself out there for God. Because that something IS God.

 

[djd83]

I’m seeking to convert this Easter!

Honestly, I think the reason I love this religion so much is just because of the way I was raised. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, and they stress so strongly religion and obedience to the Bible. Ironically, it was this obedience to and dependence on the Bible that led me to explore other options, until I was also, well, nudged into the Catholic faith through things I’ve read.

In this “new” religion to me, this same love for the Bible (and the Church in general now) and obedience to God that causes me to have the zeal for Catholicsm that I have today .

 

[PennyinCanada]

I agree with JRKH’s answer. Coming from the poverty of unbelief growing up, it is indeed good news to know that there really is a God, that He loves me, and has sacrificed His Son to pay the penalty for my sin. Life without knowing that is like a black hole of hopelessness. Certainly love does not abide there. I remember looking at a crucifix and thinking, “So that’s what Love looks like”. The world presents a very different view, don’t you think? What poverty! Thank God there is a God!
I wish every church had a lifelike crucifix for each person to ponder.

 

[The_Reginator]

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone. I definitely agree with a lot of your points. However, I often notice people citing poor catechism as the reason most Catholics leave the Church. While agree this in some respects is true, it is not the case for me.
I am very well catechized. I have a good understanding of the Church’s history and the in’s and out’s of it’s workings. However, I have simply not yet come to believe in the Church. I learned all those things because I was told to and because I was graded on my knowledge of those topics. I received the sacraments because my family told me to and because it was culturally expected. Currently l have many philosophical, scientific, and personal issues that keep me away from the Church. I often look at people who have just converted or are just very devout and wish I could feel the way they do about religion, but because of experiences in my upbringing, I just can’t.
@Red: I am currently a part of a small group “Christian living community” that meets once a week on campus. It’s helping tremendously. I am also considering minoring in Theology because I am really enjoying my current GE theology class.

Hey there Irish Eyes!
Re: “I have simply not yet come to believe in the Church.” Here’s my experience.
At the young age of 38 I came to the realization that Jesus established His Church before ascending into heaven. I was brought up as a ‘low church’ Anglican. After much study and concern about the Anglican community I came to the realization that the Church that Jesus established was a Church that taught with authority. Divine authority.
I struggled with this for a while. Especially when it came to Mary. How was I to reconcile my beliefs with the teachings of the Church?
One night as I was helping clean up after supper it finally struck me that since I had already accepted the fact that God teaches mankind through the Church He established, I simply had to accept those teachings. I learned a bit of humility then. (Now I’ve got to learn a lot more humility. )
I came to believe in the Church by prayer, study, and by giving up my prejudices that I had entertained for most of my short life.
Now I am really excited by the Church. The fact that Jesus made us His bride and His body! The fact that we witness a genuine miracle at each and every Mass. The fact that we consume His body and blood, soul and divinity!
WOW!!

God bless, Reg.

 

[JRKH]

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone. I definitely agree with a lot of your points. However, I often notice people citing poor catechism as the reason most Catholics leave the Church. While agree this in some respects is true, it is not the case for me.
I am very well catechized. I have a good understanding of the Church’s history and the in’s and out’s of it’s workings.
I learned all those things because I was told to and because I was graded on my knowledge of those topics. I received the sacraments because my family told me to and because it was culturally expected.

Pardon me for splitting hairs, but while knowing and understanding are two different things. I “knew” many things about the Church and always did well in religion class in school. Yet it turns out that my faith was very week and I was highly susceptible to the pull of the worldly because, while I 'knew" many things, I did not “understand”…In short, my knowledge did not translate to wisdom…
It was only after many years away that I discovered my error and by then I was deeply entrapped in sin so it took many additional years to overcome these barriers and return to the sacraments.

However, I have simply not yet come to believe in the Church. Currently l have many philosophical, scientific, and personal issues that keep me away from the Church.

Indeed - I too went through some of these things (for 35 years).
Most everyone needs to go through some of this as they mature in their faith. Even the great saints of the Church have spoken of doubt and struggle.
For most young people, as you are, and I was , there can be much confusion trying to integrate the lessons taught us when we were small with what we see and with the questions we have as we grow older. Often times the very simple images and manner of teaching small children about God and the Church can seem inadequate to an adult person. Hence the, “many philosophical, scientific, and personal issues”, questions for which our current level of understanding is simply inadequate.

I often look at people who have just converted or are just very devout and wish I could feel the way they do about religion, but because of experiences in my upbringing, I just can’t.

Indeed, the faith of others is inspiring and when we do not feel that ourselves, we feel empty and troubled. But this is a good sign too, for it means that we hunger for God. That God’s Holy Spirit is alive and well in our heart. It means that God is urging us to know Him better, to deepen our relationship beyond what we “know” about Him as a father and authority figure. We need to get to know Him in Love and not simply in obedience.

I am currently a part of a small group “Christian living community” that meets once a week on campus. It’s helping tremendously. I am also considering minoring in Theology because I am really enjoying my current GE theology class.

If THIS is the group you are referring to, I do agree it can be of help. Using the Spiritual exercises of Ignatius can do much to help in your maturing. It can also help to get past whatever negative experiences you have had in your past.

In summary - after all my rambling above -
I came home tot he Church because after much search, prayer, falling and sin, I came to the inescapable conclusion that, if Christ founded a Church, it must be visible and it must be authoritative and we must be able to find it throughout history all the way back to the Apostles. Only two Churches fit that bill…The Catholic and the Eastern Orthodox. When it came to choosing between these two, I had to recognize that Jesus placed one man in charge - a steward - a Vicar - and that is the Pope.
But having said all of this, the one thing that pulled at me more than anything else was the Eucharist. No other Church community can offer it (except the EO). No other experience can compare with it. It is Christ in the flesh and Christ in the blood.
No matter what other problems there might be with the Church, this one fact will keep me Catholic.

I hope my rambling will be of some help…

Peace
James

 

[SurlyMermaid]

I had always had a latent interest in Catholicism. I started studying to understand better my in-laws’ faith.

Turns out most of them are lapsed (as is my husband). They really don’t care about the Church. My father-in-law told me that RC is simply something he uses when he has to answer “what religion are you?” My mother-in-law has been angry for years at the Church for her perception that she never got her questions answered and that many things came down to the Church wanting money. (I know many, many people in all denominations that have felt that way.)

I had to chuckle that the last time they came to visit I found myself defending Catholicism to them!!!

(They are the greatest people in the world, by the way!)

 

[Irish_Eyes_826]

I’ve always been very interested in Catholicism and religion as I am very interested in history. However, the more and more I read and learn about Catholicism, the less I believe in it. And when I try to explain my to many Catholics they just say I’m being stubborn or that I’m not trying hard enough. When I hear converts talk about how much they love being Catholic the cynic in mean just says it’s because they didn’t experience it growing up. While I do have good memories of Catholicism, I also remember being terrified at 5 years old because I was told that Jesus died for me and feeling like I was a bad, evil person for making someone suffer like that. Or when I was seven and a brother at my parish was arrested for sexual misconduct and I was told to never talk about him again. Or a couple of teachers in high school who thought the only way a teenager could possibly believe is through guilt and fear. I really wish that I could be like the many converts who come into this religion with a blank slate, but a lot of aspects of Catholicism are just associated with the negative for me.

 

[IrishRush]

I’m seeking to convert this Easter!

Honestly, I think the reason I love this religion so much is just because of the way I was raised. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, and they stress so strongly religion and obedience to the Bible. Ironically, it was this obedience to and dependence on the Bible that led me to explore other options, until I was also, well, nudged into the Catholic faith through things I’ve read.

In this “new” religion to me, this same love for the Bible (and the Church in general now) and obedience to God that causes me to have the zeal for Catholicsm that I have today .

Welcome home! Easter is going to be such a profound experience for you - I’m almost jealous!