Converts: Your No. 1 stumbling block to conversion?

[Melchior]

I would have selected the relationship between faith and works as an option.

 

[Pray4Life]

I voted for the pressure/bias and etc. but it was very close between that and Mary. I’m a former Baptist, my mother was in charge of my “religious education” (my father is a fallen away Catholic and had nothing to do with it whatsoever- in fact the only time I can actually recall him even mentioning God, Church, or religion was him confirming that the nuns really did smack them with rulers in Catholic school ) and to say she was not thrilled is putting it lightly. How did I overcome it? Easy! I got married and moved out! And as for Mary, I just took it on faith at the time, but since reading/studying more about the faith, I have come to a better understanding of her role in the Church and her relationship to all Christians.

 

[system]

Melchior:

I would have selected the relationship between faith and works as an option.

Aha! Good thought! I didn’t think of that one, though I’m sure if I listened more to EWTN’s The Journey Home it would have come up. Being a cradle Catholic, it can all seem so ‘obvious’ that it’s hard to think of the objections. But that’s obviously a biggee for a lot of people.

I suppose another ‘other’ items might be sola scriptura or ‘tradition + Bible’ vs. ‘Bible alone.’ Or is that covered under ‘papal authority’?

Thanks for all your replies, they are very enlightening!

 

[system]

copland:

My biggest stumbling block right now is the lack of out-reach from Catholics in my area. Catholics seem to not be evangelistic minded like they are in Protestant churches. If it had not been for discussion forums I would not have ever been thinking about convertin to the Catholic Church.

Copland, I sure wish I had an answer or defense or some explanation for what it is about us cradle Catholics that we DON’T do a lot of outreach to non-Catholics. I sometimes wonder if one day God’s going to show me my life and point out all the people I met to whom I never had the guts/presence of mind/simple loving charity to invite to the Catholic Church. I’m haunted by the number of people who could say, ‘I never entered the Church because no one ever invited me!’

Perhaps one reason is that when you grow up Catholic, it’s almost like an ethnic identity. I remember even as a kid feeling like you could never really ‘leave’ your Catholicism any more than you could ‘leave’ being Jewish. I didn’t think that Catholicism was an ethnicity…it just seems like such a culture, so interwoven with everything - family, traditions, even sense of humor.

I can meet complete strangers and just ‘know’ that they are Catholic. You get this antenna for ‘your own kind.’ Maybe it would feel ‘weird’ to invite someone to be Catholic the way it would feel strange to invite someone to be Italian or Japanese.

And I do think a lot of it has to do with our taking our faith for granted, this obvious thing that we just ‘have’ or just ‘believe’ and that we have never questioned or defended, so we don’t go out there and talk about it.

Catholics, too, have assimilated a lot in America. We were persecuted in the past (“No Catholics need apply” and all that). I know that as a student at Berkeley, I mentioned my religion exactly once and the reaction was so harsh that I just never mentioned it again for years and years. Cowardice could be a factor.

I do hope that this new evangelization we’re seeing from Catholic Answers, EWTN and a whole lot of other places is creating Catholics who are ready, willing and able to reach out to non-Catholics and invite them in.

By the way, have you seen my other poll, asking you what attracted you to the Church (scroll down!)? If we know what attracts non-Catholics, it might be an easier way of approaching people than dealing with what puts them off!

I’d love to hear your remarks on that poll, too!

Thanks y’all!

 

[sgt.pat]

I clicked “Other”. I was raised in South America, the daughter of Evangelical (South Baptist in thier up-bringing) missionaries. For many reasons I turned my back on God for nearly 36 years, during which time I married. After I finally got it through my thick head that I really needed God in my life, I wanted more from church than I had growing up. When faced with all the different protestant denominations, how was I to know which one was the right one. To make a long story short, by the Grace of God ( and the Grace and Mercy of God ALONE) I found the Catholic Church or it found me actually.

The obsticle came from my husband, who HATES the Catholic Church. It has been a four year process, me coming into the church. My husband was going to leave me and the children. He was making me choose between him and God. He had told the children that I loved God more than I loved the family and it was mommy’s fault that we were getting divorsed ( no paper worked had been filed, I didn’t want a divorse even though the marriage was terrible and had been for years even before I returned to God).

Well, I came down on orders for Korea. It was a no brainer that he was going to take care of the kids while I was gone. But when he asked me if I was going to still pursue the Catholic thing, and I said yes that I intented to become Catholic, his response was that he would move out upon my return. I told him that was his decision, a choice he was making on his own. Well, with me being gone for a year he decided that even though I was Catholic I was doing an OK job around the house and that he’d stay. (MIRACLE AND ANSWER TO PRAYER #1)
I did come into the church this past Easter (MIRACLE AND ANSWER TO PRAYER #2). Now I continue to pray for his conversion, the healing of our marriage (MIRACLE AND PRAYER #3) and that my children (who were baptised into the church but have since been prohibited to attend mass) can both attend Mass with me inihibited and unafraid.

It hurts to see them torn between wanting to go to Mass but not wanting to upset their daddy. I wish I could be more involved in my parish, I want to display my Catholicity openly around the house (you ought to see my work station, some one asked me if I was building a shrine on my desk). But when I get frustrated and impatient I just stop, pray and Thank God for what He has already given me and ask for patience, and ask Him to use me. The only thing my husband is seeing of the Catholic Church he is seeing through me.

During the four years that I was learning about the Church I had sought the advise of many people on how to handle my marriage; and I had several Catholics ask me why I bothered to stay married to such an abuser .(verbal but still abusive) Well, if we had gotten divorsed he would really have had something to blame the Church for. Now I have an opportunity to let him see what our Faith is all about.
Sorry to be so long winded.

 

[system]

sgt.pat:

I clicked “Other”. I was raised in South America, the daughter of Evangelical (South Baptist in thier up-bringing) missionaries. For many reasons I turned my back on God for nearly 36 years, during which time I married. After I finally got it through my thick head that I really needed God in my life, I wanted more from church than I had growing up. When faced with all the different protestant denominations, how was I to know which one was the right one. To make a long story short, by the Grace of God ( and the Grace and Mercy of God ALONE) I found the Catholic Church or it found me actually.

Oh, my dear, what a painful road you are walking! Did you know that there’s a website/organization devoted to people in exactly your position? It’s here marysmantle.org/mission_statement.htm
This is the mission statement:
The mission of Mary’s Mantle is to offer support and encouragement to fellow Catholics who experience anti-Catholic persecution in their families. We seek to help those facing such persecution to live lives of charity, forgiveness and service toward those who reject the Catholic faith. Our prayer is that someday our separated brethren, in particular those in our families, will be gathered into Mary’s Mantle and united in to the Lord Jesus Christ through His Holy Catholic Church.

I’ve heard it said that one of the best ways of softening the heart of a spouse such as yours is to ask the children to pray ‘for mommy’s special intention’. You don’t need to make matters worse for your children by saying what it is, just praying a decade of the rosary for that intention…the prayers of innocent children are powerful!

God bless you for keeping to your marriage vows! Do you know about Saint Monica, mother of Saint Augustine? She, too, struggled with an anti-Catholic (well, in those days, it was pagan vs. Christian) husband and son. The Restless Flame: A Novel about Saint Augustine by Louis de Wohl is an easy introduction to Monica’s story of constant prayer for the conversion of her son (but only incidentally her husband). Just ‘Saint Monica, pray for me!’ could be a helpful prayer at the times when your husband is being most hostile.

You are definitely on the right track. Your love and charity will win your husband over eventually.

You and your family are in my prayers tonight!

Nel
Let nothing disturb you, nothing affright you. All things are passing, God never changes. Patient endurance attains to all things. Who God possesses, in nothing is wanting. God alone suffices. – Saint Teresa of Avila

 

[sgt.pat]

Thank You Nel for the website. I will look into it. And yes I know of St. Monica, she is who I chose for my confirmation name, for obvious reasons!!

When I put the children to bed every night, i do pray with them, they won’t let me leave the room until I do. When it’s just the three of us, which is most of the time during the weekends, we pray openly if we’re eating out, and we all go to Mass together is we go to the beach or something where we are gone over the weekend.

But thank you also for your prayers. God has promised us all that He has plans to help us not hurt us, just pray that I keep myself within HIS plans.

 

[hawkeye]

Nel:

You know Hawkeye (I feel like we should be in an olive drab tent sitting on cots…), I read that book - two de Montfort books, in fact, because I was searching for Mary so hard. And I thought, ‘My mother consecrated me to the Blessed Virgin, now it’s time for me to make an adult consecration of myself to her.’ I really wanted to do it…but I think my extremely wise and insightful and holy confessor either saw that I was trying too hard or was prompted by the Holy Spirit, because he asked me some questions and made some observations…and the whole thing just deflated. He didn’t tell me what to do or not to do, just said, ‘Go to the Blessed Sacrament and ask Christ if this consecration to the Blessed Virgin is what He wants you to do.’ And all I can say is…it wasn’t.

Hard, hard, hard.

Well keep saying the Rosary, one of Marys 15 promises is that those devoted to the Rosary would receive signal graces.

Bonica, my situation is a little similar…I often think that the best thing my mother did for me was that consecration. It’s not that she was ‘bad’ or abusive or anything… She was just tired (I was the last of 6, born when she was in her 40’s) and she had her own problems and just didn’t have either the temperament or the energy to do more than the bare minumum mothering for me. I know Mary took care of me ‘in the breach’ so to speak, and continues to do so now that my mother is gone…

It’s just such a mystery to me that as much as I know she’s there, I still feel sort of shut out from knowing her or feeling love and affection for her.

God has His reasons… There’s always the hope of mutual recognition one day in heaven.

Thanks for your kind responses!

 

[hawkeye]

Nel:

You know Hawkeye (I feel like we should be in an olive drab tent sitting on cots…), I read that book - two de Montfort books, in fact, because I was searching for Mary so hard. And I thought, ‘My mother consecrated me to the Blessed Virgin, now it’s time for me to make an adult consecration of myself to her.’ I really wanted to do it…but I think my extremely wise and insightful and holy confessor either saw that I was trying too hard or was prompted by the Holy Spirit, because he asked me some questions and made some observations…and the whole thing just deflated. He didn’t tell me what to do or not to do, just said, ‘Go to the Blessed Sacrament and ask Christ if this consecration to the Blessed Virgin is what He wants you to do.’ And all I can say is…it wasn’t.

Hard, hard, hard.

Bonica, my situation is a little similar…I often think that the best thing my mother did for me was that consecration. It’s not that she was ‘bad’ or abusive or anything… She was just tired (I was the last of 6, born when she was in her 40’s) and she had her own problems and just didn’t have either the temperament or the energy to do more than the bare minumum mothering for me. I know Mary took care of me ‘in the breach’ so to speak, and continues to do so now that my mother is gone…

It’s just such a mystery to me that as much as I know she’s there, I still feel sort of shut out from knowing her or feeling love and affection for her.

God has His reasons… There’s always the hope of mutual recognition one day in heaven.

Thanks for your kind responses!

Well keep saying the Rosary, one of Marys 15 promises is that those devoted to the Rosary would receive signal graces.

 

[Mijoy2]

Very intersting poll. Unlike most polls which seem to lean heavily in one way or another, this one is neck and neck on most accounts.

I’d have to say moral teachings. It troubles me more then I can express that the doctrine of our faith claims the sins that the vast majority of people (Catholics included) commit nearly everyday; contraception, self-gratification (you know), and my biggest issue by far, missing a single Mass on a Sunday as MORTAL! otherwise put, capable of sending us to Hell for an eternity of horrendous torment. This is sooo troubling to me that every day I question my faith . If the only people who go to Heaven are Catholics who have not committed these sins, I’d content less then 5 percent of the population will be there. There simply has to be more to it then this. Or so I pray.

 

[mark_a]

dream wanderer:

I did a lot of reading on my own and and pretty much accepted everything but the one thing that held me back was over zealous Catholics who reminded me of the Bible Fundamentalists I had left behind. If you weren’t doing things THEIR way you were wrong…no questions, no discussions. Those people scared me to be honest…

I went to RICA class and met some very humble Catholics and I’m glad I did. The gentle quiet ones did more to pave the way for me than did the ones who were trying to yell their particular convictions at me…

dream wanderer

You sure nailed it. It seems some of the over zealous Catholic types your talking about just need to be mad at and superior to someone.

 

[LauraL]

For me, it was the Blessed Mother. Even though my intellect quickly grasped the truth that Catholics do not really treat her as the Fourth Figure in the Godhead, I still had something of an aversion to her – I think very much because of the Mary-lovers who did almost ignore the Son in favor of the Mother. Of course, I wasn’t happy with the evangelical treatment either: bring her out for the Nativity and then as quickly as decently possible stick her in the back of the storage shed until next Christmas.

For me, the reconciliation came in two ways. First, I saw a biography of Elizabeth, the “Queen Mum” on the A&E channel, and something clicked for me: Mary is our “Queen Mum!” Wow. What a concept! How love-filled, joyous, and totally delightful.

Then, while I was in Louisiana, I very boldly said, “Okay, I want to get to know you. How do we do this?” and next time I was in the local Catholic Christian bookstore, my eye fell on a print of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. I found it a compelling presentation, bought it and a little booklet, and hung it in my bedroom (now it’s on my piano)

Several months went by, I found myself back home in NC, and one Sunday at Mass, the visiting priest followed up the General Intercessions with the words, “Uniting our prayers with those of the most Holy Mother of God, we say…” and I got GOOSEBUMPS, and I felt the most unexpected thrill at the anticipation of praying the Hail Mary in mass (and en masse! ) and I realized – whoa! I love Our Lady!

Pretty cool, eh? God is very kind to us!

 

[Timothy]

My biggest obstacle was that I didn’t see any real reason that I should turn my life upside-down for the Church if I could simply agree with the church and continue filling a pew at the local first thru third baptist church. I saw (and still often see) no real difference in the lives of many Catholics. This of course was just before I began to really understand the Eucharist.

But I still struggle with the role of the Catholic Male outside of the Priesthood. Firstly because I have been struggling with the role of the Male in the family for the usual reasons (lack of one), and secondly, being raised outside of the Church I have very few Catholic Men to take as an example. This was the unexpected personal struggle of becomeing Catholic, Being a Man as far as being Catholic means something completely different than what it means to be a Man in the rest of the world.or even in protestant Christianity for the most part.

 

[copland]

Nel,

Thank you very much for your honest reply! I have never really heard it said like that. It makes perfect sense out of something that has bothered me for awhile.

I posted 2 things that were key issues to leading me to giving my heart to the Catholic Church on that other thread you started.

 

[JackPaul]

copland:

My biggest stumbling block right now is the lack of out-reach from Catholics in my area. Catholics seem to not be evangelistic minded like they are in Protestant churches. If it had not been for discussion forums I would not have ever been thinking about convertin to the Catholic Church.

As a recent convert myself, I have to agree. We are told as Catholics to evangelize by demonstration of what it means to be with Christ. I found this to be lacking when I was a RCIA attendee. I wanted to know that everything would be alright and that my contract would be fulfilled if I signed up. The protestant church that I attended would give garantees, but not the Catholic Church (and for good reason). I wanted someone to evangelize me!!! Actually, one of the sisters in our parish did one day and that was a big help. But most RC’s do not speak the words that I needed to hear.

I also had a problem wth some of the Catholic attitudes. I was married in a Christian Church, but when our marriage was Blessed in the RCC, some 12 years later, we were told “how different things would be now that God was part of our marriage”. That statement alone was almost enough to turn me away. We had heard several other comments concerning the receiving of Sacrements. Not that I don’t believe in the Sacrements, but it was the pompus attitude of some Catholics that somehow think that God is not in your life because you are not one of them and now that you are in the club, Gods grace will be abundant. Well, I believe that God’s grace was abundant before and it is now, but not necessarily because I am Catholic.

In retrospect, I can understand why they do what they do, they follow the Holly Father’s lead on this. The Pope is a wise man and early on, he was another of my sturmbling blocks. But now, the magesterium is one of the main reasons I am comfortable with being RC. It takes awhile to absorb and grow into this faith, but the time spent, I pray, will be well worth it.

If you are thinking about becoming a Catholic, sign up or start attending a RCIA class. In our Church, the inquiry sessions last as long as you need them to and this is where all of your questions get answered. You are never under any obligation to go through with any of the Rites. Up until the time that you make a public profession, (and this takes several months to get to this point) you can just walk away. So, if you are thinking about this, chances are good that the Holly Spirit is calling you to it, and you should obey his call. Check it out, what’s to loose? What’s to gain?

 

[nucatholic]

Cat,

I also grew up in a Christian Church (not Disciples of Christ but Independant. See how confusing all these denominations get people!) We celebrated communion at every service but it was only a symbol. Mary was (still kind of is as times) a hard thing for a hardcore evangelical to accept. That and infant babtism and Sacred Tradition are the biggest obstacles for my evangelical friends to jump. -nucatholic

 

[system]

Mijoy2:

I’d have to say moral teachings. It troubles me more then I can express that the doctrine of our faith claims the sins that the vast majority of people (Catholics included) commit nearly everyday; contraception, self-gratification (you know), and my biggest issue by far, missing a single Mass on a Sunday as MORTAL! otherwise put, capable of sending us to Hell for an eternity of horrendous torment. This is sooo troubling to me that every day I question my faith . If the only people who go to Heaven are Catholics who have not committed these sins, I’d content less then 5 percent of the population will be there. There simply has to be more to it then this. Or so I pray.

Dear Mijoy… I think that it would help you a LOT to find some one understanding priest to talk to about these things. You could fall into scrupulosity (thinking every little thing is a sin and God is just waiting to catch you and say AHA! Gotcha! Into Hell you GO!).

Catholics err on the side of God’s mercy without taking it for granted. For example, have you noticed that the Church canonizes saints - people that we have very good certainty are definitely in heaven are canonized (they performed a couple of miracles, for example, a good ‘proof’ that they are in heaven). But the Catholic Church has never said that there’s any single person in hell. We don’t say, ‘Oh, Hitler, he must be in hell.’ We don’t even teach that Judas is in Hell - theologians argue about it and make cases on one side or the other, but there’s no definitive statement, ‘This person is definitely in hell’ no matter how likely it seems.

Also, your culpability - the degree to which you are held responsible for a sin - is ameliorated a bit by things like ignorance (I have a friend who simply didn’t know it was a mortal sin not to go to Mass on Sunday) or ingrained habit. For example, some people have a ‘self-gratification’ habit deeply ingrained since childhood, and they suddenly find out that contrary to what society and Dear Abby and whoever have been telling them, this is a BIG sin in God’s eyes! They are shocked. They are repentent. But they also have a 20-year habit to break! The Church realizes that, and doesn’t say, ‘Well, that’s it, now you know that it’s a sin and you did it again, off to hell with you!’

Continued on next posting (now who’s long-winded?)

 

[system]

Think about this for a bit…The Catholic Church has had confession right from the start. That’s 2,000 years of accumulated wisdom about how people sin and the habits of sin and the occasions of sin. I mean if ANYONE on the planet understands all the mechanisms of sin, it’s the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church takes sin more seriously than any branch of Christianity (I think it’s safe to say!). But because of that accumulated wisdom of all the ways we poor, weak humans can fall into sin, the Catholic Church weds its realistic view of sin (it separates us from God, and can do so eternally) with a very compassionate view of sin. We hate the sin, we love and try to uphold the sinner.

Think of it as climbing up a steep hill towards God. God knows and the Church knows that you will stumble and fall (sin) and this is so humbling, because it means you need to call on God for help. And God is right their through His Church with a hand to lift you up again: the sacrament of reconciliation.

Think about it! You will sin over and over and over again through your life. (Ever see some barely-functioning old man or woman hobbling into the confessional and think, 'What on EARTH has s/he got left to go to confession for?). And every time you fall, the Church is there to lift you up. God wipes the slate clean. It’s forgotten. And you get the grace to try again, to keep moving up that mountain.

Don’t worry too much about who is in heaven and how many didn’t make it. That’s God’s worry. His mercy is great for those who sincerely seek it! And here’s the rub: are you sincerely desirous of pleasing God and weeding out sin? If that’s the case - if that’s where your heart is - then that’s what God is looking at. It’s not some black-and-white score-card…it’s the state of your heart. Is your heart turned toward God in repentence and the desire to do better? Or is your heart turned away from God and you more and more think that what you do ‘isn’t all that bad’?

Be very careful, my dear, with these worrying thoughts, because especially when we’re at the early stages of our struggle with sin (when we suddenly realize that there is sin, and I commit them!) we are especially vulnerable to discouragement and despair. The devil has a handful of tried-and-true ways to work on you to give up and not bother trying to avoid sin. Spit in his eye and turn to Christ and say, ‘Jesus, I trust in You’ or some other short prayer.

Gosh, this is long. But you really touched my heart with this!

 

[mr_bozo]

“Cafeteria Catholics” were the only sort of Catholic I ever ran into, either that or they crumbled when I asked them why they believed in purg/Mary/transub/bapt. regen./ etc. It was these reasons that kept me from bothering to look into the Church for years. (As I have said on another post, it was actually thru my looking into Eastern Othodoxy that God grabbed me).

Praying to saints came a close second for me, and then came temporal punishment for sins/penance (I thought it negated God’s mercy.)

Once I realised that we had tradition as well as scripture as God’s word, all that was left for me was to determine that there was no contradiction between these ideas and the Bible.

 

[copland]

JackPaul,

I have been studying Cathoicism for a good while now. A local parish gave me a Catechism that I have studied. And I have studied many of the Early Church Fathers. I am sold out for Catholicism. I do want to take the RCIA class. I would love to be a Catholic starting right now if I could, I have no doubts that it is the Way. But my biggest obstacle, my only obstacle is family. My wife and I are attending a “church of God,” but we have been Southern Baptist for the last 10 years up until about a year and a half ago. My wife grew up in a protestant church, and we have been raising our 7 year old boy in it.

My wife knows that I am very impressed with Catholicism, but I really don’t think she knows how deep I really feel about it. I have been gradually letting her into my feelings, just for the simple fact of not wanting to scare her off, because it is a very big deal. She seems to like the relaxed theological pluralism that you get in the protestant church. Changing and admitting your wrong is not one of her better traits.haha!

I think if my wife does go along with me eventually, she is really going to stumble with some stumbling blocks, such as birth control, pope, Mary, etc etc etc.

But anyway, please just keep us in prayer! Thanks!!