Convince me not to get a vasectomy

[fred_conty]

I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?

I don’t believe you can have a valid marriage in the church if your intention is never to have children. That violates the marriage contract and would be an unholy marriage before God. It wouldn’t be a marriage.

Check with your priest.

 

[LilyM]

Sorry…I was thinking Henry VIII and I wrote 8 wives.

Interestingly, he had fewer acknowledged mistresses than legal wives.

And even more interestingly, three of his marriages (1st, 3rd and 4th) were perfectly valid as well.

 

[Lawrence178]

Interestingly, he had fewer acknowledged mistresses than legal wives.

And even more interestingly, three of his marriages (1st, 3rd and 4th) were perfectly valid as well.

His Marriage to Jane Seymour (lucky number three) was valid because he cut the second’s head off. So I’m not sure if I’d count that one.

But ya, Anne of Cleves (number four) was valid.

 

[bkr75019]

I feel sorry for anyone who feels sex is a sin and feel that sex with your wife must be for the purpose of procreation. Give me a break! Should women get tested each year to determine if they are still fertile and if not, inform their husbands that sex is over. I don’t think that will go over well.

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?

I took the liberty to highlight above to illustrate why marriage and kids should not concern you right now. Nobody is ready for kids. Have you considered kids to be gifts from God that help you get to heaven? It’s true…Don’t put yourself in a position to refuse a gift you probably will want after a few more years tick by. NFP works in the meantime, if there are serious reasons to avoid. NFP works…don’t let the contraceptive mentality convince you it doesn’t.

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I feel sorry for anyone who feels sex is a sin and feel that sex with your wife must be for the purpose of procreation. Give me a break! Should women get tested each year to determine if they are still fertile and if not, inform their husbands that sex is over. I don’t think that will go over well.

Nobody should feel that way, as it is not church teaching. ‘Open to life’ does not mean a baby with every romp between the sheets.

 

[J_the_Centrist]

One question that I have for you is, how old are you? I felt the same way when I was in my late teens, early twenties, and beyond. Now that I am in my early thirties my view has changed, as yours might as you age. You didn’t even mention if you are in a relationship, are you? If not then you have nothing to worry about, if so take precautions! I hope that this suggestion does not offend anyone, but realistically it had to be said.

 

[ALLGIRLS]

I feel sorry for anyone who feels sex is a sin and feel that sex with your wife must be for the purpose of procreation. Give me a break! Should women get tested each year to determine if they are still fertile and if not, inform their husbands that sex is over. I don’t think that will go over well.

And I feel embarrassed for people who post on forums and threads when they have no idea what they are talking about. Please read the Catechism. This is in no way what the Church teaches.

In Christ,
Ellen

 

[J_the_Centrist]

I feel sorry for anyone who feels sex is a sin and feel that sex with your wife must be for the purpose of procreation. Give me a break! Should women get tested each year to determine if they are still fertile and if not, inform their husbands that sex is over. I don’t think that will go over well.

I don’t think that is what everyone is saying, if so why do you care? That certainly isn’t my position and I find it amusing that the people who are known to be the greatest lover’s come from Catholic cultures, like Latinos, Italians, even the Irish are known for their this.

 

[bkr75019]

I don’t think that is what everyone is saying, if so why do you care? That certainly isn’t my position and I find it amusing that the people who are known to be the greatest lover’s come from Catholic cultures, like Latinos, Italians, even the Irish are known for their this.

I’m 35 years old with 2 kids already and I’m done with growing my family. I find it ridiculous that people on this thread actually believe vasectomy is a sin. There is nothing biblical that references this medical procedure. NFP isn’t for realistic for very my people. Those who think otherwise live in a fantasy of repression.

If some one wants to stop having kids, what business is it of yours!!

please proceed with your vague biblical quotes about spawning babies.

 

[davidv]

I’m 35 years old with 2 kids already and I’m done with growing my family. I find it ridiculous that people on this thread actually believe vasectomy is a sin. There is nothing biblical that references this medical procedure. NFP isn’t for realistic for very my people. Those who think otherwise live in a fantasy of repression.

Why should we believe any of this. It seems to be unsubstantiated opinion.

If some one wants to stop having kids, what business is it of yours!!

Its not. But, we know it is God’s business. The Church was created to teach us what God expects.

please proceed with your vague biblical quotes about spawning babies.

Why are we restricted to the Bible? The Church, teaches truth, some of that truth she recorded in the Bible.

 

[J_the_Centrist]

I’m 35 years old with 2 kids already and I’m done with growing my family. I find it ridiculous that people on this thread actually believe vasectomy is a sin. There is nothing biblical that references this medical procedure. NFP isn’t for realistic for very my people. Those who think otherwise live in a fantasy of repression.

If some one wants to stop having kids, what business is it of yours!!

please proceed with your vague biblical quotes about spawning babies.

I never said anything about that or any medical issues, read my post again! All I asked was why do you care about what other people believe? Are they stopping you from doing what you want? I don’t care if you have no kids or twenty, nor did I even suggest that I did. You were obviously addressing the wrong party. One more thing, if I did proceed to quote from that Bible, I have every right to do so whether they be vague or not.

 

[J_the_Centrist]

I’m 35 years old with 2 kids already and I’m done with growing my family. I find it ridiculous that people on this thread actually believe vasectomy is a sin. There is nothing biblical that references this medical procedure. NFP isn’t for realistic for very my people. Those who think otherwise live in a fantasy of repression.

If some one wants to stop having kids, what business is it of yours!!

please proceed with your vague biblical quotes about spawning babies.

Oh BTW I have nothing against vasectomies.

 

[His_helpmeet]

NFP isn’t for realistic for very my people. Those who think otherwise live in a fantasy of repression.

NFP, properly done, takes about 2 minutes a day - plus maybe a few more to let your husband know what’s going on.

As a nurse, I would strongly recommend that you not get a vasectomy. My father had one and developed testicular cancer a few years later. Fortunately, testicular cancer is quite easily treatable, but if it is not diagnosed promptly it will kill you within 2 years.

I was once in your position. I didn’t want kids; thought I’d make a terrible mother. Today, I am married with an 8-year-old stepdaughter and my husband and I are trying to have a baby (I have fertility issues and am pursuing treatments that are acceptable according to Catholic teaching).

Are you familiar with the statement, “Christ must increase, I must decrease”?

 

[Chantal25]

If you don’t want have children, you shouldn’t have any. It would be awful for children being born from parent that don’t desire them.

Why you don’t want any? Is this because of fear or simply you don’t want to give up your luxury life?

The reason i ask is because if this is fear you can seek professional to heal this or most of all prayer. I don’t say you should have children still but these fears will carry you and reflect on your relationship always.

Now as for your question, if you can married and simply have no children then i will say this to you. First be up front with your partner, she needs to know what she is getting involved to.

As Catholic and if you want to remain in good grace and being able to have communion the answer is NO. You need to choose marriage in sin or single with no children.

Sexuality is only blessed through marriage with the purpose to multiply.

If you don’t want children, you cannot married if you do want to be in a state of grace.

All the best!

 

[JackieMom]

There is a simple and moral answer to this problem. Wait until you are in your 40s or 50s and marry a woman who has already experienced menopause. No risking your eternal soul, no spouse who might change her mind, and you still get to grow old with a woman you love.

 

[Chantal25]

There is a simple and moral answer to this problem. Wait until you are in your 40s or 50s and marry a woman who has already experienced menopause. No risking your eternal soul, no spouse who might change her mind, and you still get to grow old with a woman you love.

Sound like a great plan, lol… except, you still can have child at that age, they would need to be careful.

 

[JackieMom]

Sound like a great plan, lol… except, you still can have child at that age, they would need to be careful.

You can still have a child after menopause? Don’t think so.

 

[Catholic_Jay]

The bible says in Genesis 38:8-10 “Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother’s wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother. [9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother’s wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother’s name. [10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing.”

The Lord killed him for doing an early form of contraception (withdrawal).

“Deut. 25:7-10 - the penalty for refusing to keep up a family lineage is not death, like Onan received. Onan was killed for wasting seed.” -http://www.scripturecatholic.com/contraception.html

 

[Chantal25]

You can still have a child after menopause? Don’t think so.

I have a friend that she thought she had her menopause and her period started again after i did a foot reflexology on her. It is rare but women can have child in their fifty. I have known also a women in my area that had apparently her menopause but got pregnant. Again, this is rare but a possibility.