Coping with despair

[anonymous_allen]

Hi I’m a young Catholic man struggling with many impure sins. Several times I have repented for all my sins after months of not going to Confession but right after, my scrupulosity gets to me and everything comes crumbling down like usual. I feel like there isn’t even really hope anymore and I keep seeing all of these Homilies online from all of these trad. Priests who are talking about how bad people like me are. There is just no way to overcome these sins and my scrupulosity prevents me from going to Confession and ever getting better for longer that 2 weeks…

Sorry for just throwing out my pity party,
Thanks

 

[Maximilian75]

perseverance is key… Father Emil Kapaun, an American Korean War chaplain, said that “Out of the worst suffering have emerged the strongest souls…” Know and take heart that this affliction, like all mortal things, shall pass.

 

[RKS89]

You might trying to work the Jesuit Examen into your daily prayer life (only takes 15-20 minutes). It really helps you to see all the good in your life, and just how much and how personally God cares for us. I’ve found the gratitude it fosters to be a good antidote to your struggles.

 

[dallas_r]

I’m with you man, if your talking about sexual sin woooooh it sucks. Pray 1 decade of the rosary (at least) and keep praying. If it’s porn avoid using your laptop/phone in excess. If it’s having pre-marital sex, only kiss for up to 3 seconds and no touching under the neck. Praying for you.

PS I’ll try to link a Fr. Mike Schmitz video to you about temptation, his vids help me a lot.

 

[JamalChristophr]

Just keep trying your best. Don’t get downcast.

Despair ALWAYS comes from the dark spirit. Reject that feeling. We are weak and so we fall. Don’t be shocked and scandalized by your weakness.

 

[Katie777]

Hail Mary,
Full of grace,
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb,
Jesus
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of death,
Amen

 

[Kei]

Ok, here’s the jib:
Pray at least 5 decades of the Rosary every day.
If you think erotic images or feel temptations, lightly strike yourself, not enough to hurt you, but enough to get your mind off of it (saints would throw their selves into bushes and roll in snow to avoid impurity!!), and at the moment of temptation think of Christ crucified in intense detail. Focus on this fact.
As soon as you realize you are being tempted, pray to God for grace to overcome it and not sin.

Go to confession. However, perhaps try to make a confession where the priest sees you. This will make you really want to not keep falling into the same sins.
I would think scruples would make you want to go to confession more. But, trust in God’s mercy and know that you aren’t the thoughts that pop up in your mind.

And pray. Pray a lot, to God. Mental prayer.
God bless

 

[exnihilo]

Priests who are talking about how bad people like me are

You aren’t bad but your actions may be. This is an important distinction. You are a valuable child of a God. You may commit really bad sins (and we shouldn’t gloss over the seriousness of sin). But you are good and valuable.

There is just no way to overcome these sins

This isn’t true. This is despair. You can overcome these sins. It may be a struggle. It may involve ups and downs, but the only way to beat them is to keep fighting.

One thing to watch out for is not forgiving yourself. This can cause despair. You may have committed bad sins. But if you repent and confess you are forgiven. Satan wants us to focus on our past sins and forget God’s mercy and forgiveness. If you can’t forgive yourself you really are standing in God’s place saying your judgment (to not forgive) is better than God’s.

 

[RandomAlias]

I keep seeing all of these Homilies online from all of these trad. Priests who are talking about how bad people like me are.

Perhaps you should stop (or limit) watching that sort of homily. I’m not saying they are wrong, but if their approach is not helping you to become virtuous and holy, they may simply be wrong for you.

Maybe you can find some homilies or other Catholic videos that are more redemptive, that help you better. @dallas_r mentioned Father Mike, and there may be others as well.

---

If it’s porn avoid using your laptop/phone in excess.

Definitely stay away from porn.

 

[RandomAlias]

I’m praying for you. May the Holy Spirit strengthen and assist and guide you always toward faith and virtue.

 

[Brigh111]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I have found that reading about the importance of chastity often motivates me to put up a strong defense. But remember, so many people struggle with this sin. You are not forsaken. You are not alone. Perhaps praying to Our Lady of Perpetual Help will do you some good. I’d recommend going to confession immediately after sinning no matter how often you might fall. It might get tiresome but it is worth it. I was at a point in my life where I went to confession every Saturday for impure sins. I have come a long way since then. Remain hopeful! Pray an act of hope!

This article helped me during a very dark period of my life. I hope it will help you as well.

10 1/2 Reasons to be Chaste