Correcting our Sisters and Brothers

  • Thread starter Thread starter oppositeman
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
O

oppositeman

Guest
As difficult as it may be sometimes, God calls us to correct our sisters and brothers, when they say or do something that obviously falls short of what God expects of us as His children.

Although you may get a defensive and angry response, to do so lovingly and with kind words will help them change for the better because God will give them the grace they need based on your effort.

Yes, it can be difficult - but are not we here to help each other get to heaven?

1 Thess 2 11-12
“and insisting that you conduct yourselves as worthy of the God who calls you into His kingdom and glory.”
 
To correct in love is planting a seed.

I have experienced being corrected by someone in love and it irritated me at the time, but I came to see that she was right.
 
Keep in mind of the context of 1 Thess 2 11-12 .

The Church as very young and people didn’t have access to Church teaching as we do today.

“In Your Face Religion,” is how most Christians correct others, and it does more harm than good.

It is best to be open to their point of view, first and listen to them.

You can then gently give them your side of the story.

I have a friend who drove all of his family members away preaching to them.

He’s not even allowed at their homes unless he promises not to talk about religion.

Anyway, keep this in mind. The best way to preach the Gospel is to live it.

Jim
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Keep in mind of the context of 1 Thess 2 11-12 .

The Church as very young and people didn’t have access to Church teaching as we do today.

“In Your Face Religion,” is how most Christians correct others, and it does more harm than good.

It is best to be open to their point of view, first and listen to them.

You can then gently give them your side of the story.

I have a friend who drove all of his family members away preaching to them.

He’s not even allowed at their homes unless he promises not to talk about religion.

Anyway, keep this in mind. The best way to preach the Gospel is to live it.

Jim
Click to expand...
I agree with you - I hope people don’t misunderstand what I was trying to get across, which is - and I didn’t make this clear unfortunately - correcting those who you know are with Christ. The passage speaks to these brothers and sisters but I think that will escape most who read this. Sometimes I think I wish I had the post to do over again.
 
Be careful with this one. We live in a sensitive culture. People can easily overstep their boundaries with correction. No one likes being told they’re wrong, so it is rare people will react humbly to correction honestly.
Correct people in private.
Check your heart too. Are you trying to make yourself feel superior or the other feel bad? Is it out of anger or passive aggressiveness? Personal vendetta.
Do you think this person is open or will be receptive to the message?
Think about all these.
Pray.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
Be careful with this one. We live in a sensitive culture. People can easily overstep their boundaries with correction. No one likes being told they’re wrong, so it is rare people will react humbly to correction honestly.
Correct people in private.
Check your heart too. Are you trying to make yourself feel superior or the other feel bad? Is it out of anger or passive aggressiveness? Personal vendetta.
Do you think this person is open or will be receptive to the message?
Think about all these.
Pray.
Click to expand...
thanks ! - good advice that we do it for the right reasons and are sensitive and loving about it. Perhaps we shouldn’t do this when it is a matter of opinion but only when the person says or does something sinful - example - using foul language or speaking in an uncharitable way about another. I saw a lot of this prior to the election concerning clinton - people didn’t like my correction - however I still did it - hopefully after they calmed down and reflected on it they got something good from it - I still do it on Facebook - a recent example is saying something to a young woman who posted a pic of herself in a skimpy bathing suit. I do struggle for the words to use in correcting gently - not easy to do.
 
oppositeman said:
thanks ! - good advice that we do it for the right reasons and are sensitive and loving about it. Perhaps we shouldn’t do this when it is a matter of opinion but only when the person says or does something sinful - example - using foul language or speaking in an uncharitable way about another. I saw a lot of this prior to the election concerning clinton - people didn’t like my correction - however I still did it - hopefully after they calmed down and reflected on it they got something good from it - I still do it on Facebook - a recent example is saying something to a young woman who posted a pic of herself in a skimpy bathing suit. I do struggle for the words to use in correcting gently - not easy to do.
Click to expand...
If she’s an adult, don’t say anything to her about her clothing choices. This is the fine line with correction. I think it can easily turn into an excuse to tear others down or become a busy body. If you’re a man, don’t comment on the modesty of a woman’s clothing. You can see like a creep. That type of correction is best reserved between close friends and family.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
If she’s an adult, don’t say anything to her about her clothing choices. This is the fine line with correction. I think it can easily turn into an excuse to tear others down or become a busy body. If you’re a man, don’t comment on the modesty of a woman’s clothing. You can see like a creep. That type of correction is best reserved between close friends and family.
Click to expand...
Ya know this is one of those times that I will take advice - I just did it because no one else seems to want to tackle the issue - I am uncomfortable with this topic with women and I think from now one I will leave it alone - or perhaps say something to another woman I may know who also knows her and have her do it if she is willing. I just makes me cringe to see this and know how much it offends God and Mary.
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Keep in mind of the context of 1 Thess 2 11-12 .

The Church as very young and people didn’t have access to Church teaching as we do today.

“In Your Face Religion,” is how most Christians correct others, and it does more harm than good.

It is best to be open to their point of view, first and listen to them.

You can then gently give them your side of the story.

I have a friend who drove all of his family members away preaching to them.

He’s not even allowed at their homes unless he promises not to talk about religion.

Anyway, keep this in mind.** The best way to preach the Gospel is to live it**.

Jim
Click to expand...
👍

PS… to whomever posted the huge image that has sent the pages waaaay off my screen… Please? Thank you!
 
oppositeman said:
Ya know this is one of those times that I will take advice - I just did it because no one else seems to want to tackle the issue - I am uncomfortable with this topic with women and I think from now one I will leave it alone - or perhaps say something to another woman I may know who also knows her and have her do it if she is willing. I just makes me cringe to see this and know how much it offends God and Mary.
Click to expand...
The reason people do not want to tackle this issue is because of the consequences. It is very touchy subject. Provocative clothing, to a degree, is subjective.
 
oppositeman said:
As difficult as it may be sometimes, God calls us to correct our sisters and brothers, when they say or do something that obviously falls short of what God expects of us as His children.

Although you may get a defensive and angry response, to do so lovingly and with kind words will help them change for the better because God will give them the grace they need based on your effort.

Yes, it can be difficult - but are not we here to help each other get to heaven?

1 Thess 2 11-12
“and insisting that you conduct yourselves as worthy of the God who calls you into His kingdom and glory.”
Click to expand...
It’s not just anyone’s business to correct others. Parents, teachers, pastors, etc. have the proper authority. We may correct those whom we know and love, such as family members and close friends–but only with great love and no delight in doing so. It should hurt our hearts to have to correct anyone, and certainly not for things that are none of our concern. And we must be certain what needs correction, and that we are proper persons to do it.

This is one of the hardest of the spiritual works of mercy because it can all to easily become a habit we learn to like instead of a painful duty to perform. Much prayer and discernment ought to be done before daring to correct another adult. I rather doubt responding to Facebook posts meets that criteria. 😉
 
Della said:
It’s not just anyone’s business to correct others. Parents, teachers, pastors, etc. have the proper authority. We may correct those whom we know and love, such as family members and close friends–but only with great love and no delight in doing so. It should hurt our hearts to have to correct anyone, and certainly not for things that are none of our concern. And we must be certain what needs correction, and that we are proper persons to do it.

This is one of the hardest of the spiritual works of mercy because it can all to easily become a habit we learn to like instead of a painful duty to perform. Much prayer and discernment ought to be done before daring to correct another adult. I rather doubt responding to Facebook posts meets that criteria. 😉
Click to expand...
Ya know by not speaking up a person is condoning sin through silence - and, I believe, that is a sin of omission.
 
oppositeman said:
Ya know by not speaking up a person is condoning sin through silence - and, I believe, that is a sin of omission.
Click to expand...
When you have a right to do so, yes, you should. But, do you know you have that right? I think this is something you need to discuss with your priest or spiritual director, ASAP.
 
Della said:
When you have a right to do so, yes, you should. But, do you know you have that right? I think this is something you need to discuss with your priest or spiritual director, ASAP.
Click to expand...
I don’t think it is a matter of right but of obligation to do so - I can’t imagine God saying to me it is OK, that a person who has been brought to my attention and says or does something in my presence that is sinful, that I remain silent. I am sure there are several bible verses that speak to this - because you are not loving others by letting them continue sinning. Of course you need to use discretion and in fact there would be times when it would be a bad idea (such as in front of others) - and it is quite a responsibility to do so lovingly but it is necessary to do if you are serious about helping Christ save souls.
 
Della said:
It’s not just anyone’s business to correct others. Parents, teachers, pastors, etc. have the proper authority. We may correct those whom we know and love, such as family members and close friends–but only with great love and no delight in doing so. It should hurt our hearts to have to correct anyone, and certainly not for things that are none of our concern. And we must be certain what needs correction, and that we are proper persons to do it.

This is one of the hardest of the spiritual works of mercy because it can all to easily become a habit we learn to like instead of a painful duty to perform. Much prayer and discernment ought to be done before daring to correct another adult. I rather doubt responding to Facebook posts meets that criteria. 😉
Click to expand...
Amen. I think this spiritual work of mercy can easily turn into a power-trip. I think some people delight in pointing out all the wrongs in someone else’s lifestyle. This can easily turn into a source of pride.
 
oppositeman said:
I don’t think it is a matter of right but of obligation to do so - I can’t imagine God saying to me it is OK, that a person who has been brought to my attention and says or does something in my presence that is sinful, that I remain silent. I am sure there are several bible verses that speak to this - because you are not loving others by letting them continue sinning. Of course you need to use discretion and in fact there would be times when it would be a bad idea (such as in front of others) - and it is quite a responsibility to do so lovingly but it is necessary to do if you are serious about helping Christ save souls.
Click to expand...
I have never understood the whole saving souls thing. I have always doubted people’s sincerity when they say these things. Perhaps, they are in a higher spiritual realm than I care to understand.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
Amen. I think this spiritual work of mercy can easily turn into a power-trip. I think some people delight in pointing out all the wrongs in someone else’s lifestyle. This can easily turn into a source of pride.
Click to expand...
well of course we have to do this for the right reasons - and that being to help the person to interiorly reflect on something they might have not been aware of, or help them focus on perhaps a bad habit - at any rate the idea is to help the person become more Christlike.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
I have never understood the whole saving souls thing. I have always doubted people’s sincerity when they say these things. Perhaps, they are in a higher spiritual realm than I care to understand.
Click to expand...
Saving souls is the only thing that is important to God - everything He does has something to do with this - for His glory and our salvation. If you truly believe God made each one of us from His love then what is it you don’t understand? He wants all to be saved and He has asked our help - that being the hands, eyes, feet, voice of Christ to others. Christ tells us in the gospels to go and make disciples of all nations - ie bring to them the message of salvation through Jesus Christ. If you are really having trouble with this I would say for you to ask Mary’s help - if you sincerely ask her I am sure she will help you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top