Correcting someone at Mass?

[NSFrame]

I am in no way suggesting that he is not Catholic! I’m sure he his. This is the only particular item that he seems to say incorrectly…and since I’ve never heard a response so bungled before, I was unsure as to what to do. I felt like it could be a “spinach in the teeth” thing where you’re glad someone told you so as to not embarrass yourself further. At the same time I was worried that saying something could also embarrass him. So I wanted to choose the lesser of the two evils. As others have stated, it is really none of my business and he is not hurting anyone.

The reason I have a problem with the "uh huh"s etc. is because he’s the only one doing it and I feel that it calls attention to him and directs attention away from the priest and the priest’s message and distracts peoples’ prayerful thoughts.

Also note that I am the “newcomer” to daily Mass. I normally attend only on Sundays, and often at a different church nearby, but have started attending daily Mass as my Lenten resolution. I will be continuing once Lent is over - I love it.

 

[newconvert56]

I’d leave it alone, sometimes even a correction made with good intentions could embarass a person enough that they would have second thoughts about attending that Mass or even church again. As someone new in the CC, I try hard to say the correct responses and luckily for me a lot of the liturgy is similar or the same as I learned at the Lutheran Church. I am actually looking forward to the new missal so we will ALL be in the same boat.

 

[bearer]

I returned to the Church recently after being away for many years. I still stumble through the Nicene Creed sometimes, and it’s embarrassing enough realizing it myself. It doesn’t help that there are sometimes various alternative responses within the 2nd Roman Missal. If someone corrected me, particularly during Mass, I would be grateful for the help, but also humiliated that I had botched it to the point that someone felt the need to bring it to my attention.

I’m in the “leave it alone” camp. Meet a neighbor, make a friend, and be merciful…

 

[PolyphonyChick]

Aye. Just think about what’s going to happen when the new translation comes out. Half the people will be saying “and also with you” and the other half will be saying “and with your spirit.” Oh, just think of the liturgical chaos!

Just leave it. I attend the TLM and I assure you my “Latin responses” are a) not Latin and b) not the actual responses. I just make sounds that make it sound like I’m saying them.

Hahaha Christmas will be pure madness!

And I love your part about Latin responses. Such truth! I am getting better but for the life of me, the Suscipe, Domine gets me every time. It was all I could do to stay calm and reverent when a friend of mine at his first TLM was singing under his breath the preface along with the priest in made up, squeaky Latin. He didn’t know any better of course, but he was getting looks just because of the ridiculous noise coming out of his mouth Oh, the days of being new to the TLM

 

[Cat]

The first time I went to mass with my wife, everyone KNEW I wasn’t Catholic…I asked where the coat racks were.

Several years ago, on these very forums, I, as a new Catholic (convert from evangelical Protestantism), started a “Coat Rack” thread.

Within a few days, this thread had grown to a monstrous size, and had become the hottest, most emotional, most controversial thread in all of CAF land. Even the abortion threads didn’t have the fire that the Coat Rack thread had. Catholics were demonizing Coat Racks as “tools of Protestantism,” while Protestants were accusing Catholics of not practicing holy hospitality.

It makes me shudder to remember it all.

Within a week, the thread was shut down. I don’t believe the subject of “Coat Racks” was placed into the “banned topics” sections, but I’m sure it came close!

Anyway, you’ll learn that “Coat Racks” are a subject to be avoided in Catholic circles. We hang our coats up in the storage closets at our parish. Usually we are the only ones who hang up our coats.

 

[puzzleannie]

if he asks for instruction offer it
if not, not

he is probably far more hard of hearing than you are

 

[baltobetsy]

I can’t think of any way this could turn out well. Leave the man alone, please. You know how you think it’s cute when your toddler says something wrong when he’s first learning to speak? God probably looks at this guy the same way.

 

[purplesunshine]

I also have a feeling that many of us will be in this boat come Advent when they change many responses.

 

[rick43235]

Anyway, you’ll learn that “Coat Racks” are a subject to be avoided in Catholic circles.

Thanks for the tip. Although I’ve never been subjected to any hostility over the coat rack issue, I do notice that folks get kind of glassy-eyed and go into a trance-like state when the subject comes up. I stopped asking about it long ago.

 

[AnneTeresa]

I gotta say, this thread made me laugh (no offense to the OP, it’s a valid question). Between coat rack debates and the guy who was thought Protestant for taking a Bible to church, and the non-catholic boyfriend who got in line at communion to see what they were handing out. Just made my day.

 

[ritamagadieup]

… and we know what is or isn’t offensive to God by…

I’m just asking… since you seem to at least believe you are knowledgeable on this topic.

Don’t you know what Jesus wants from us? I am a Military wife and have been in Catholic Churches all over the world I feel that if someone attends Mass and is comfortable in their responses to part’s of the Mass, why does it concen the person sitting next to then? I think Jesus is pleased that we are all there and talking to him with love in our own way. That is what is important! Not how it is said. If he was uttering swear words or heckling the Priest or making a general disturbance of himself. Then I might say something to the Pastor. To say I know what is offensive to God. I know what my heart tells me about Jesus, and from His teaching yes I think we all know what is or isn’t offensive to Him.If you paid attention in Relgious Intruction’s throught out your school years I believe it’s all laid out in the 10 Comandments and the Gospels what is or isn’t pleasing to God. :yup:

 

[happymommy]

Several years ago, on these very forums, I, as a new Catholic (convert from evangelical Protestantism), started a “Coat Rack” thread.

Within a few days, this thread had grown to a monstrous size, and had become the hottest, most emotional, most controversial thread in all of CAF land. Even the abortion threads didn’t have the fire that the Coat Rack thread had. Catholics were demonizing Coat Racks as “tools of Protestantism,” while Protestants were accusing Catholics of not practicing holy hospitality.

It makes me shudder to remember it all.

Within a week, the thread was shut down. I don’t believe the subject of “Coat Racks” was placed into the “banned topics” sections, but I’m sure it came close!

Anyway, you’ll learn that “Coat Racks” are a subject to be avoided in Catholic circles. We hang our coats up in the storage closets at our parish. Usually we are the only ones who hang up our coats.

We have a coat room! It’s much nicer than the coat rack at the Protestant church I used to attend!..running and hiding now

 

[Brywan]

I’m with the “mind your own business” crowd

The OP is also assuming that this person has completely normal mental faculties…he may not be able to say the correct words because of mental handicaps–which cannot be corrected–and should not be corrected-- by a complete stranger in the pews.

If he is a distraction to you then offer it up to God and pray for him…

 

[estesbob]

We have a coat room! It’s much nicer than the coat rack at the Protestant church I used to attend!..running and hiding now

We have to keep our coats with us in our Catholic Church for those rare occasions when father gives a short sermon as hell freezes over.

 

[ProVobis]

Just leave it. I attend the TLM and I assure you my “Latin responses” are a) not Latin and b) not the actual responses. I just make sounds that make it sound like I’m saying them.

I thought everyone knew “Gloria tibi, Domine.”

I can’t imagine anyone adlibbing “secundum Dominum.”

 

[TheMc]

He may well be someone from a protestant denomination who has never realized that there is an RCIA process.

I was watching “The Journey Home” on EWTN and a young man was a member of the Catholic Church (he’d even served as a liturgist) for a couple of years without ever knowing that there were Rites to become Catholic.



I’m a sponsor in RCIA, and one of the catechumens was attending daily Mass and receiving Eucharist. He didn’t know any different.

A so called “liturgist” who isn’t even catholic?

 

[drakenoboe]

He may well be someone from a protestant denomination who has never realized that there is an RCIA process.

I was watching “The Journey Home” on EWTN and a young man was a member of the Catholic Church (he’d even served as a liturgist) for a couple of years without ever knowing that there were Rites to become Catholic.



I’m a sponsor in RCIA, and one of the catechumens was attending daily Mass and receiving Eucharist. He didn’t know any different.

I used to date a Catholic who didn’t know it was “wrong” for non-catholic, believer in Christ to take Communion. So of course I took it once, but then found it way too weird and then did research and corrected him on this issue.

As a protestant, I am sort of creeped out by massive reciting. He could just be trying to “fight the norm.” If you are the person, like me, who has to have everything black and white, try moving away from the problem.

If I was him though, I would want to be corrected because I really have no idea as to what is really said during mass.

 

[thequeen]

Not sure if this is the correct forum but I’ll try here first.

I have been attending daily Mass and it takes place in a small chapel. I frequently end up sitting near this one particular man (who thinks this is a Protestant church and offers up "uh huh"s and "right, yes"es during the homily, but that’s a different story!).

Something I have noticed is that, before the Gospel, instead of saying “Glory to you O Lord” he says “According to the Lord”. Now, I assume he just misheard the response and has been saying it wrong for years without any idea that this is the wrong respose.

I’m sure he is a very nice person and seems devout as I see him there every time I go. I have no desire to embarrass him or to be a know-it-all. At the same time, I feel like someone should tell him. I mean, if I were saying a response wrong I would want to fix it and say the right thing.

What do you think
I would invite him to rcia and let them handle it because you do not want to push him away which you might do if he is sensitive in rcia he would learn proper responses

 

[Apryl]

Don’t you know what Jesus wants from us? I am a Military wife and have been in Catholic Churches all over the world I feel that if someone attends Mass and is comfortable in their responses to part’s of the Mass, why does it concen the person sitting next to then? I think Jesus is pleased that we are all there and talking to him with love in our own way. That is what is important! Not how it is said. If he was uttering swear words or heckling the Priest or making a general disturbance of himself. Then I might say something to the Pastor. To say I know what is offensive to God. I know what my heart tells me about Jesus, and from His teaching yes I think we all know what is or isn’t offensive to Him.If you paid attention in Relgious Intruction’s throught out your school years I believe it’s all laid out in the 10 Comandments and the Gospels what is or isn’t pleasing to God. :yup:

(Heavy Sigh)

I know what I think Jesus wants. But then, I also realize that in the Bible, there are MANY instances where what others would think God wants may not have been what HE wanted. Zacheus (in the Sycamore Tree, but called down for dinner with Christ)… David (the scrawny kid out with the sheep, but the Chosen One)… other instances. I would never be so presumptuous as to assume to know what God wants.

I asked what I did the way that I did because of the way it was posted. It was, IMO, presumptuous. Sure, I want to do what is right, at all times, but that doesn’t mean that I always know. I don’t know, so when I think that others believe they KNOW, I want to know how they know.

I wasn’t fortunate enough to attend Catholic School for my entire education, so I didn’t always have Religious Education. I did, however, learn to read the Bible, learned about the 10 Commandments, learned about the Beatitudes (all 15 of them), but I still know that I don’t KNOW what God wants. I know that I want to know what God wants.

I also know that God gave us His church, under the guidance of the Pope, and direction of the magisterium. There is a reason why we have certain responses to certain things. I realize that it may be difficult, but I also know that we were taught to ‘instruct the ignorant’ and to ‘admonish the sinner’. That I do know. Do I think it’s always appropriate, or even necessary? Of course not. Sometimes, the best way to get someone to learn is to let them learn on their own.

That being said, I still think that it would be best if he were asked, GENTLY, if he knew what he was doing and point out the corrections. If he chooses to continue, that’s on him, but the OP would have at least tried to offer the assistance.

I sure do pray that if… no, WHEN, I mess up, others don’t think that they should allow me to wallow in my errors.