Correcting the sins of others

[SHoJ]

What exactly is our duty as Catholics to tell other people about sins that we see them committing? Are we under an obligation to try to correct the sins of others in all circumstances, or only in some situations? If it’s not always, how do we discern when it’s appropriate and when it’s not?

For me, I don’t go around “correcting” others unless I know them well and know that my comments aren’t likely to totally drive them away from God and the Church. Anyway, I have too many planks in my eyes to worry about the splinters that others have.

1. A Catholic co-worker mentions her husband is going to get a vasectomy. Should we point out that this is a sin? What if we reasonably believe she already knows this? What if the co-worker is Protestant, and her church approves of the practice?

How well I know this woman would determine what I say. If I know her well, I might say something like, “You know the Church’s stance on that, right? That you shouldn’t do it.” Otherwise, I might ask if she and her husband have really prayed about this and talked to their priest about it. If she tells me it’s none of the Church’s and/or priest’s business what happens in their bedroom, I would tell her that it’s also none of mine and ask her to keep that sort of information to herself in the future.

1. A divorced Protestant relative is planning a second wedding (to another Protestant). By our Catholic standards, this second marriage isn’t legitimate. Are we supposed to point this out to him? Since he isn’t Catholic and his church fully sanctions the second wedding, he’s very likely to not care at all what the Catholic church thinks about his marriage.

It’s none of my business how he practices his faith. If he’s not Catholic, and his church allows remarriage, that’s their business - not mine.

1. A Catholic friend has kind of fallen away from the Church, attending Mass sporadically but not regularly. Should I tell her it’s a sin to not attend every week? She comes from a devout family and attended Catholic school, i am fairly certain she’s already aware of the Church teaching about the sunday obligation.

I think a lot of Catholics do not know that there is a Sunday obligation, and/or do not know why the obligation exists. I wouldn’t point out her sin, but rather invite her to Mass then to breakfast with me and my regular after-Mass breakfast crew. I would help steer the breakfast conversation toward how lucky we are to be Catholic and have Jesus in the Eucharist and how nothing can keep us away from Mass each week so we can receive Him. I’ve noticed that some “devout cradle Catholics” get so burned out on the legalistic aspects of Catholicism that they don’t come to know how the Eucharist shows how much God loves us.

1. An unmarried Catholic friend announces she and her boyfriend are having a baby. Do we tell her that premarital relations are sinful?

Um, no. She knows this already, trust me. I would congratulate her for the new life growing inside of her. Depending on how well I know her, I might even thank her for choosing to keep that life within her instead of choosing to end it. I would invite her and her boyfriend to Mass and offer to hold the baby (once it’s here) so that she can have an hour to focus on Mass instead of the little one.

1. A casual acquaintance of undetermined religious belief takes the Lord’s name in vain occasionally. Point out that this is a sin?

Point it out as a sin? No. Ask this person to please respect me and my beliefs, and to stop taking the Lord’s name in vain in front of me? Yes!