Costume Lingerie Within Marriage

[Sashah]

I know the use of lingerie within marriage is acceptable. What about when the lingerie is a costume of a specific character, for example the slave Princess Leia from Star Wars? Is this also acceptable, or would it be more wise to avoid dressing like specific fictional women? I’m concerned with if costuming lingerie crosses the line to no longer just looking nice but instead encouraging objectification. Are my concerns founded or unfounded? Is there a difference between dressing as a general category (cheerleader etc.) verses dressing as a character, like Princess Leia, who was played by a specific woman?

 

[MaryEstelle2]

Unfounded as long as both parties are happy.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

As long as you’re not dressing up as anything blasphemous, then it’s not a problem.

 

[AdamP88]

If I was a wife who was asked by my husband to dress up as a specific fictional character for sex, I’d be asking serious questions about where his mind was during the act.

Seriously, what’s wrong with just normal sex?

Why the need to dabble in weird fetishes?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Some people enjoy cosplay as part of sex, just like some people might enjoy a different position or listening to music during sex or any number of other things.

It doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with a person who doesn’t want to do those things during sex. Nor does it mean that cosplay or whatever other harmless thing people are doing is not “normal” assuming it’s done in moderation or as just an occasional thing.

Obviously if a husband needed his wife to dress up like Princess Leia every time or he couldn’t complete the act, that might call for some marital counseling, but most people are just doing these things occasionally because they enjoy them.

You need to be careful about throwing around the word “normal” when we’re talking about a harmless preference. If someone liked to eat ice cream with whipped cream, nuts, bananas and strawberry topping, would you say, “Why the need to dabble in weird toppings? What’s wrong with just normal, plain ice cream?”

 

[AdamP88]

It doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with a person who doesn’t want to do those things during sex. Nor does it mean that cosplay or whatever other harmless thing people are doing is not “normal”

There’s a fine line between harmless and weird, or even degrading when it comes to sexual practices.

You need to be careful about throwing around the word “normal” when we’re talking about a harmless preference. If someone liked to eat ice cream with whipped cream, nuts, bananas and strawberry topping, would you say, “Why the need to dabble in weird toppings? What’s wrong with just normal, plain ice cream?”

This is not at all the same thing. Sexuality is a sacred gift from God and you do have to be discerning in what sexual practices and proclivities you choose to indulge. There is a much greater capacity for abuse or warping of sexuality and of objectifying or degrading another person.
That’s what you need to be careful about.

I can understand a couple trying to change it up a bit for some excitement, but you do have to be careful. It’s also not “normal” to go into things like cosplay, S&M, roleplay. All of these have a greater danger of turning sex into something that degrades a person.

And in all fairness, cosplay is weird at the best of times.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I see no suggestion of objectification in the person’s initial post. I also find your post to be very judgmental as to what is “normal” or not. Frankly, your post is offensive in that regard.

Dressing up like Princess Leia or doing a roleplay is not the same as S&M, which would be sadistic or degrading behavior towards one person. Being sadistic or degrading is a violation of Church teaching on human dignity. Dressing up like a film or cartoon character, or acting out some roleplay that is non-blasphemous, is not.

 

[Ardent_Fire]

Can’t really see the problem if a husband fancies his lady as HER dressed as Leia. As long as he’s loving his wife as she’s dressed up (as opposed to fantasizing about Carrie Fisher Leia) it doesn’t sound like a serious problem.

I mean that as a general example of a woman dressing up in costume in itself. Some things like context do matter here. Generally a husband and wife just having a bit of fun doesn’t seem like an issue. Though if someone ISN’T comfortable doing it, then they shouldn’t do it or have that forced on them.