Could Catholic priests could benifit from being married?

[Bl_Pope_Pius_IX]

forums.catholic-questions.org/images/avatars/cross_celtic.gif Bl Pope Pius IX,
It has become quite clear to me that you react very smartly with anyone that has a differet perspective. If you plan to become a priest in the future, you might want to practice speaking with people that think different than you, particularly when it comes to discipline, not doctrine. I’m sorry that you seem to feel so hostile towards me. But if you can’t engage in intellectual discourse without reacting this way, then maybe you should consider a break from the forums. This is no place for faint hearts. I will offer prayers for you today.

PAX tecum

I have to be quick with this response cause I have classes in a few minutes.

Firstly, thank you for your prayers. Secondly. I deny all accusations of being hostile against you. this was not my intention, I apologize. I reacted in no hostile manner, however oddly enough I thought you felt hostile to me (i.e. the “do your homework” and “your logic is way off” comments which I simply asked you to kindly stop). The fact is this: I was simply defending myself, my views, my opinions, and a few encyclicals especially Sacerdotalis Caelibatus (Paul VI). As you have prayed for me, so shall I pray for you.

~ Pius :knight1:

 

[PbloPicasso]

I have to be quick with this response cause I have classes in a few minutes.

Firstly, thank you for your prayers. Secondly. I deny all accusations of being hostile against you. this was not my intention, I apologize. I reacted in no hostile manner, however oddly enough I thought you felt hostile to me (i.e. the “do your homework” and “your logic is way off” comments which I simply asked you to kindly stop). The fact is this: I was simply defending myself, my views, my opinions, and a few encyclicals especially Sacerdotalis Caelibatus (Paul VI). As you have prayed for me, so shall I pray for you.

~ Pius :knight1:

Sorry I came across the way you perceived me. I was being sensitive to the Protestant way of thinking on this subject. Your replies seemed spiteful or resentful or overly defensive for being ecumenical. There’s an old saying, “you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar”… If someone does not come across as obnoxious in asking a sincere question, we should give an answer that makes sense to them, from where they are coming from. We don’t really know without a doubt what the Vatican will do about the priestly requirement of celibacy. We do know that for now, this decision was made for many good reasons. I would prefer celibate priests, but have opened my heart up for the possibility of future married priests. It’s plausible that it could happen and I do not want to be one of those that gets upset over a none issue for us, the laity. When deacons were first reintroduced to the laity, everyone was way to confused to their role in the Church.

 

[KathleenGee]

What people continue to overlook on this thread is that practically all celibate priests are very happy with their lives, that they feel undeserving of this call, and because of that – know the Lord has called them to His service.

Vocations are going up. The year the media went all out on attacking the Catholic Church and the 1% pedophilia priests…while I bet there are members of journalism who have their own picadillos…parishes throughout the country saw the greatest number of people coming into the American church.

Baltimore alone had 1,000 enter RCIA. My parish had a large number that year. About 10 years ago, the diocese I live in now had only one person studying for the priesthood.

My former diocese had a lot of political and power struggles in the local church. We were all praying for vocations…in 1999, that former diocese then had 33 seminarians during the time this one had one…and practically all went through to ordination!! With local prayers here growing for vocations, the numbers in the seminary has gone up quite a bit!..no more one person studying…there is quite a number now.

It is Christ, --and not having sex, --that sustains the Latin rite Church. If married men have a draw to ministry, they should consider the diaconate. Many times the wives attend all the classes with them.

If there are trees in the orchard bearing no fruit, He will take down the trees and plant new ones.

 

[PbloPicasso]

That is true. Most priests are happy. I is second on the top ten happiest “jobs”. Firefighters and teachers also are up there.

 

[Nicea325]

I think they should be married, but not for the sex abuse issue. I think when God said “Man should not be alone” and created Eve to be his companion, I think he meant it. I think priests, as counselors for married people, should be married with children. I think it would help them understand rather than taking everything word for word out of a book. Yes, I wish they were all allowed to be married. I hope someday more get married and have children.

I LOVE that the eastern orthodox priests are married. I LOVE that rabbi’s are married. They are great rolemodels.

Jesus was not married…was he alone too?

 

[Nicea325]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

First of all, linking celibacy to pedophelia is completely absurd. Two entire different issues. One can be a married man or woman and have an obession with pedophelia.

 

[PbloPicasso]

First of all, linking celibacy to pedophelia is completely absurd. Two entire different issues. One can be a married man or woman and have an obession with pedophelia.

And one, male or female, that is celibate can be a beautiful thing. We need to fight hard against this Protestant ideology that all men and women are called to marriage lest they be taken over by the evil one. This is a serious infraction upon the Kingdom of God. Mary and Joseph were both celibate. There is no proof, not is there any reason the early Church would try to conceal it, or try to change the historical facts.

I am not against married men becoming priests, but I am against priests becoming married men. The latter was never accepted, nor will it ever be accepted. The current celibate priests have already discerned their vocation. Those that seem to break their promises and vows, do so as a married man that is unfaithful to his family, spouse and children. They have brought shame upon themselves and their lack of trustworthiness. The accepted celibacy after many years, nearly a decade, before being allowed to be ordained.

And there is no correlation between celibacy and pedophilia or homosexuality. There are just as many, if not more, that enter into vows of marriage that commit the same sins.

 

[KathleenGee]

In times when celibacy was not mandated throughout the Latin church, there were cases of divorced priests…and those who have married after being ordained have had their issues.

There is voice now to let these married priests return to serving the Church in some way, and I would be open to that…whatever the Church would discern…

 

[PbloPicasso]

In times when celibacy was not mandated throughout the Latin church, there were cases of divorced priests…and those who have married after being ordained have had their issues.

There is voice now to let these married priests return to serving the Church in some way, and I would be open to that…whatever the Church would discern…

Just as you have clergy abandoning their discerned vocation, you will also have priests who abandon their marriages. This will always be the case. Not all priests will necessarily be guilty for their divorce, but all celibate priests are guilty of leaving their priestly vocation. Kind of an interesting thought.

I believe priests would no doubt be happier celibate. But in order to best serve the Church, the bishops have to supply priests. How this will be done, I don’t know. But we must continue to pray for clergy and the married. Sex has been turned into something it was never supposed to become, recreation. This, I believe is what’s really making the world sick. We must remember that ordained men grew up in lay families that have to live in the world. We live in different times.

 

[vz71]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

Let’s consider what exactly this is saying…
Do we really want to imply that being single causes pedophelia?
If not, then why would marriage be placed here as a possible remedy?

 

[sallybutler]

In our sex-driven society, it is easy to suspect someone who has voluntarily agreed to not have sex as being somehow deviant. However, I think I would have a harder time trusting a priest or a pastor who was divorced and re-married. To me, this would indicate two potential problems. First an inability to select the correct person as a spouse and/or an inability to maintain a relationship. Second would be a lack of discipline.

I think most people look at celibacy (which is different from chastity or fidelity to ones marital partner) as deviant instead of a gift from God. Celibacy is very difficult. The need to pro-create is a basic biological need. Those who have been called to serve the Church without a spouse or children are giving up so much in order to serve Christ… We need to support them and their cross instead of suggesting that they are weird or that the Church needs to change it’s position.

 

[Rence]

Jesus was not married…was he alone too?

Jesus is God. Priests are not God. They are only human.

 

[stayinthelight]

In our sex-driven society, it is easy to suspect someone who has voluntarily agreed to not have sex as being somehow deviant. However, I think I would have a harder time trusting a priest or a pastor who was divorced and re-married. To me, this would indicate two potential problems. First an inability to select the correct person as a spouse and/or an inability to maintain a relationship. Second would be a lack of discipline.

I think most people look at celibacy (which is different from chastity or fidelity to ones marital partner) as deviant instead of a gift from God. Celibacy is very difficult. The need to pro-create is a basic biological need. Those who have been called to serve the Church without a spouse or children are giving up so much in order to serve Christ… We need to support them and their cross instead of suggesting that they are weird or that the Church needs to change it’s position.

I don’t see celibacy as “deviant” at all. It’s pure. And it’s not nearly as difficult as some people make it out to be.

I don’t struggle with temptation, and I don’t consider celibacy a “cross”, either. (I’m not trying to sound mean or anything in my comment here. Just wanted to share my own experience.)

I’m not a priest, and I haven’t taken any formal vows. I’m a guy who found a treasure in celibacy.

Celibacy is beautiful. Don’t feel bad for priests.

I love celibacy.

 

[PbloPicasso]

In our sex-driven society, it is easy to suspect someone who has voluntarily agreed to not have sex as being somehow deviant. However, I think I would have a harder time trusting a priest or a pastor who was divorced and re-married. To me, this would indicate two potential problems. First an inability to select the correct person as a spouse and/or an inability to maintain a relationship. Second would be a lack of discipline.

I think most people look at celibacy (which is different from chastity or fidelity to ones marital partner) as deviant instead of a gift from God. Celibacy is very difficult. The need to pro-create is a basic biological need. Those who have been called to serve the Church without a spouse or children are giving up so much in order to serve Christ… We need to support them and their cross instead of suggesting that they are weird or that the Church needs to change it’s position.

Sally, once an ordain man is divorced there is no being remarried. That’s not even an issue. The problem I’ve seen is divorced men becoming priests. That bothers me, even if there are no children. We have such a priest and his story was not made secret. I respect him as clergy, but I feel I’d make a better priest than that since my family history is rooted in such beliefs anyway, i.e., married clergy. However, I will not seek the priesthood has it is currently not even open. I am, however, seeking ordination for the diaconate. I have to accept that fact that if my wife is ever separated from my in death or by legal expression I will never be allowed to remarry, that means not even dating. I am willing to accept that state in life. Personally, I firmly believe that if things had been different for my wife and for me, we’d both be religious. She reminds me often enough that had she grown up Catholic she’s sure she would have chosen religious life. I know that had I not met her and saw a need, not a lust, then I too would have returned to the seminary to become a priest. God allowed me to leave on my own free will. However, I’ve never felt right in making the choice I made. But for the sake of our children I chose to continue to remain faithful to her. This does not mean I don’t love or care for her. It merely means that I was far removed from any clear understanding about my faith at the time. I will not toy with the thoughts of what ifs though. I just know what I feel in my heart to be true. Others’ who actually know me would say the same. I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it. The irony of all of this is that my wife and I rarely sleep together. I usually sleep in a reclining chair. I even sleep better without her. I feel more peaceful and one with God alone. All, obviously, irrelevant. My apologies. Just thinking out loud.

Now, I’m working on trying to be engaged as an ordained minister the best I am allowed. It’s all I have left. My intentions are to promise to never marry within the context of ordination. Celibacy is a beautiful thing. It is not for the faint of heart. It requires enormous discipline and partly why the Church chose to make it the norm. It is definitely better for priests to be single men without children or wife to distract them from doing God’s work and live in constant prayer.

 

[ConstantineTG]

In our sex-driven society, it is easy to suspect someone who has voluntarily agreed to not have sex as being somehow deviant. However, I think I would have a harder time trusting a priest or a pastor who was divorced and re-married. To me, this would indicate two potential problems. First an inability to select the correct person as a spouse and/or an inability to maintain a relationship. Second would be a lack of discipline.

I think most people look at celibacy (which is different from chastity or fidelity to ones marital partner) as deviant instead of a gift from God. Celibacy is very difficult. The need to pro-create is a basic biological need. Those who have been called to serve the Church without a spouse or children are giving up so much in order to serve Christ… We need to support them and their cross instead of suggesting that they are weird or that the Church needs to change it’s position.

Another misconception. How does divorce say that one has an inability to select the correct spouse? As if we can predict how a person would think or change X number of years into the future.

 

[joe370]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

What makes you think that a priest who happens to be a pedophile, if told he could get married to a woman of proper age, would suddenly stop being a pedophile? One doesn’t have anything to do with the other.

Perhaps, if a priest could get married it might help combat his loneliness.

 

[DC31]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

If they benefit from being married, then it must, most likely, harm the Church,its people,their relationship with God,etc. It would not be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Maybe you do not realize this, but that suggestion comes from those who criticize the Church and/or mandatory celibacy. Some of them are using this controversy to promote their views and ideology concerning both. They do not understand why the Latin Rite Church has the discipline of mandatory celibacy or pedophilia itself. Allowing priests to marry would not affect the problem--except to make it worse. For one thing, at least, it would give them new victims.
Dealing with the problem is the reasonable solution. Doing something about the pedophile priests,how the Church handles them, and the illness itself will help the priests, the Church, its people, etc. Also, being better informed about pedophilia and clerical celibacy would bring us closer to this.
So do not be deceived by the garbage generated by this controversy---or allow others to do so. Over-reacting to this will lead us to ruin--and who wants that. The pedophile priests need professional help and discipline. The Church needs better ways of recruitment, training, sustaining, etc. her clergy. We need better understanding of the **** larger picture.

May the Lord bless and keep us all.
DC31

 

[DC31]

What makes you think that a priest who happens to be a pedophile, if told he could get married to a woman of proper age, would suddenly stop being a pedophile? One doesn’t have anything to do with the other.

Perhaps, if a priest could get married it might help combat his loneliness.

You make a good point in your 1st paragraph;it's not that simple. However, married men get lonely, too. 
Remember that things are not usually that easy;Pedophilia and marriage are more complex than that. So your point in the 2nd paragraph misses the mark.

Godspeed
DC31

 

[DC31]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benefit from being married? They are celibate by choice. They do not have to become priests.

Marriage is a benefit?
Pedophelia is a problem?

Marriage is a solution to Pedophelia?

This question is borne of lack of knowledge. What causes Pedophelia? I would venture to say that this is a choice issue in my opinion based on what I read. It is deviant behavior. What causes deviant behavior? There are many causes including as always nature and nurture. Things like drugs, alchohol, pornography, history of abuse play into this and therefore multifactorial. What causes people to use drugs, steal, lie, cheat?

The question would be a question that could be answered if the cause of Pedophelia were known, if married people were not Pedopheliacs and they are, and if priests were the only problem.

You may want to look at the following website…

reformation.com/

Protestant pastors abuse as well and there is no requirement for celibacy for Protestant Pastors.

You may want to look at the bigger problem. Pedophelia is a problem that crosses all lines of peoples, Priests, Pastors, Lawyers, Doctors, and anyone with a sexual organ. It is just made more evident in the news by what you bring to this post.

In answer to your question, NO.

Well said!!
I would also say that there is also a lack of understanding of clerical celibacy. Also, one must see the larger picture of this concern.

 

[DC31]

First, a side note: I like your questions. Keep asking them, but don’t be afraid to respond to your responders

Secondly, my response.

Clerical celibacy, is a [minor] factor to my discernment of the Priesthood. Clerical celibacy makes sure that a Priest has one less roadblock to giving his life wholly to God. This is vital. Clerical celibacy fosters a new man in Christ. This new man is pure. We are all called, Priests especially, to imitate Christ. The way I see it, Christ didn’t marry, so neither should Priests. It is a brilliant jewel of our Church. It must be preserved.

Celibacy offers unto a Priest a unique pastoral flexibility. He HAS a family. His family is his parish, the flock that was assigned to him to shepherd and to guide.

This thread will erupt in flames, I am sure.

~ Pius :knight1:

Amen!! Amen!!
Kudos to you for reminding us how important clerical celibacy is and what it means.
However, I don’t think this thread will erupt in flames but maybe some people will.

May the Lord bless and keep you and may He guide you in your vocation—whatever it is.
DC31