F
foolishmortal
Guest
I am one who doesn’t think the last Pope was great. I don’t know one devout Catholic, who would never join me in not attending any non-canonical marriage of any family member, in my family. I’ve felt very alone and give up at times to pet bad habits. Some of that is probably Pride in that I’ve felt I must tow the line, but then, I know I am not a walking Catechism. I can’t seem to get help finding a spiritual director. I don’t know if what I think God tells me is God or my scrupulosity causing me to worry.
I feel, if the last Pope had dealt with misbehaving or negligent bishops, people close to me may have been set straight about Vatican 2’s teachings, known about the meaning of the Mass and its parts, known what must be believed, and the weight would have then been off my shoulders from the beginning (I have been prideful in that area until I visited the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculata for a week and learned about Mary dealing best with our prayers and needs–this was after I complained about the last Pope not being much a shepherd in keeping the wolves off us).
When I write this, could my personal reasons make a reaction to John Paul 2nd’s being called “the Great” a mortal sin as a desire to defame him and/or being irritated at the perceived lack of others, who were raised saying rosaries with the family, even after their childhood, not seeing how negligent he could have been regarding others’ (even apparently saying from the beginning he wasn’t going to clean-up, ecclesiastically)? Is it being personal, that I could be detracting or something mortally sinful? Is the anger (maybe rage and/or spirit of unforgiveness, even if as a subconsciously driving force) over the limit in reacting as such or in stating my reservations about him as I have up to now? I’ve just felt disappointed.
I just need a break from things and those who ignorantly ask me to do things I shouldn’t and I don’t know how to put my “No” without possibly starting up a conflict I can’t handle. So as not to detract any more than I hope I have not done, others in my family are better at being generous than I, but I’m frustrated, because just doing good doesn’t bring you merit for those who know the truth of their Faith, knowing what I know and not responding correctly can bring me demerit and I need an orthodox Catholic in my life for strength to guide me.
I have been a habitual sinner, myself, and, like all, a general sinner (see: Prayer of Daily Neglects) and I do not feel I have the wherewithal to guide anyone, but who will? The pulpit is where anyone who feels obligated to go to Mass will hear it. From what I’ve heard from EWTN and FSSP Masses, I worry I should speak up, but know I can get worked up. Anti-abortion seems to be the only thing campaigned against by dioceses, as worthy a campaign as it is. I don’t know what God expects of me, besides prayer, and I have been poor at that, having, in my Pride, carried the weight of the souls of ignorant, fallen-away or forgetful family and friends who mean well, but were unguided in the '80s, as well as my own, on my shoulders and collapsed so many times only because of my Pride and not as a participation in Christ’s sufferings.
I have started placing it in Mary’s hands but still, I need help from one in the know, who can tell me what to do, being one who wants to live out my Catholic Faith. With confidence that I’m in a place where I can’t screw up or I have an advisor who can guess God’s Will for me, I may be able to become what God Wills for me to be and do in His service.
BTW: Can you have an e-mail spiritual direction?
Thank you and God bless you!
I feel, if the last Pope had dealt with misbehaving or negligent bishops, people close to me may have been set straight about Vatican 2’s teachings, known about the meaning of the Mass and its parts, known what must be believed, and the weight would have then been off my shoulders from the beginning (I have been prideful in that area until I visited the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculata for a week and learned about Mary dealing best with our prayers and needs–this was after I complained about the last Pope not being much a shepherd in keeping the wolves off us).
When I write this, could my personal reasons make a reaction to John Paul 2nd’s being called “the Great” a mortal sin as a desire to defame him and/or being irritated at the perceived lack of others, who were raised saying rosaries with the family, even after their childhood, not seeing how negligent he could have been regarding others’ (even apparently saying from the beginning he wasn’t going to clean-up, ecclesiastically)? Is it being personal, that I could be detracting or something mortally sinful? Is the anger (maybe rage and/or spirit of unforgiveness, even if as a subconsciously driving force) over the limit in reacting as such or in stating my reservations about him as I have up to now? I’ve just felt disappointed.
I just need a break from things and those who ignorantly ask me to do things I shouldn’t and I don’t know how to put my “No” without possibly starting up a conflict I can’t handle. So as not to detract any more than I hope I have not done, others in my family are better at being generous than I, but I’m frustrated, because just doing good doesn’t bring you merit for those who know the truth of their Faith, knowing what I know and not responding correctly can bring me demerit and I need an orthodox Catholic in my life for strength to guide me.
I have been a habitual sinner, myself, and, like all, a general sinner (see: Prayer of Daily Neglects) and I do not feel I have the wherewithal to guide anyone, but who will? The pulpit is where anyone who feels obligated to go to Mass will hear it. From what I’ve heard from EWTN and FSSP Masses, I worry I should speak up, but know I can get worked up. Anti-abortion seems to be the only thing campaigned against by dioceses, as worthy a campaign as it is. I don’t know what God expects of me, besides prayer, and I have been poor at that, having, in my Pride, carried the weight of the souls of ignorant, fallen-away or forgetful family and friends who mean well, but were unguided in the '80s, as well as my own, on my shoulders and collapsed so many times only because of my Pride and not as a participation in Christ’s sufferings.
I have started placing it in Mary’s hands but still, I need help from one in the know, who can tell me what to do, being one who wants to live out my Catholic Faith. With confidence that I’m in a place where I can’t screw up or I have an advisor who can guess God’s Will for me, I may be able to become what God Wills for me to be and do in His service.
BTW: Can you have an e-mail spiritual direction?
Thank you and God bless you!

