Could the vocation-less life (not "single life as a vocation") be a calling from God?

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I think many were feeling the way you are feeling now.
Just be patient and ask God to show you His plan
 
This is great advice…but this is asssuming the OP isn’t doing anything. In my case, I have almost everything I think, including online dating, etc. Because what I am doing seems to be not working no matter if I add or change, and yes I pray too. Then maybe that is not what God wants for me. Right now, I absolutely have no idea.
 
Online dating doesn’t work for everyone in my experience. I think the relatively low number of younger single practising Catholics works against many.
 
Very few people view or message me on CM. There are some who like my photos or message me. on a secular dating site, I get more views and messages, In general what I really experience is when they initiate, hey do not know how to start or maintain a conversation. Most of the time it is always me who steers the convo.

On my part, I do view and send out messages. What I get are crickets. My work experiences has been in writing mostly, so I do not think it is due to my being inept in writing out messages. Honestly most of the guys I have chatted with are like wuts up, how r u types. Cannot carry a decent conversation. Becaude they get bored, they would just one day stop messaging. Have wasted a lot of money on it already.

I am willing to take criticism and follow advice, but my own experience has been trying my best but substandard results. I am still trying, but right now I am already resigned to my current situation and trying to live a good and happy life.
 
Kts1816 said:
I think many were feeling the way you are feeling now.

Just be patient and ask God to show you His plan
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What if God never shows you his plan? Or what if his plan is that there is no plan for you?
 
My 2 pennies.

I think life is a vocation, unless a person is someone who doesn’t help other humans, animals, nature etc, then each good deed we do is a vocation and a gift to God.
I also think we label our lives with this and that, so when we don’t ‘fit in’ to a certain vocation as named we feel very alone.
 
Do you believe in God,how strong is your faith?
Do you want to serve God?
 
simpleas said:
I think life is a vocation, unless a person is someone who doesn’t help other humans, animals, nature etc, then each good deed we do is a vocation and a gift to God.
I also think we label our lives with this and that, so when we don’t ‘fit in’ to a certain vocation as named we feel very alone.
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I think you are 100% right. Maybe God wants us to live each day and that’s enough for him. But it’s not enough for our human egos - we need to feel wanted and that we can make a difference in a way that is bigger than just breathing each day. I know I feel that and it’s probably wrong. How can you come to terms that you don’t have a mission in life and that’s ok?
 
The primary vocation is a call to holiness. Our challenge is to discern how God wants us to pursue it. The state of life (marriage, religious life, etc.) is secondary to this primary call, which is given to everyone. Please don’t see yourself as someone without a call (which is what “vocation” means). You have one, and you may be called to pursue it in the single life. Many have been so called. It’s not “lesser” or a sign that God is ignoring you…
 
Enough for vocation is to Please Lord by trying to live his commands and repent your weakness
 
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It really is okay to “just” pray, love God, and be a friend to those around you.
 
For those discerning marriage…dating and the like is weird. Once you get to a certain age, it’s like having some kind of medical condition where everyone is offering you their favorite home remedy, you try it, but none of them work. There’s also an air of gambling-like superstition that comes into play (like “I spun around six times, tapped my foot, and smiled to the East seven times before going out for the day…that’s when I finally met my husband!”).

I understand why, logically, people say to get out more and “try” more…but in many of our experiences, quantity does not equal success, or even a likelier chance of success. The world just does not work like that. It may seem so, but we all know people who were not trying at all and had a windfall and others who go on dates every night of the week and are still single.

Personally, I’m at a very strange age, where I don’t know if I should try and “beat the clock” for motherhood or just let it go, focus on work, and then try and find someone when I’m as established as I’m going to be in life. While I am sad about losing that chance in life, I don’t know if it’s a healthy approach to try and hustle up a husband last minute just to make the cut. If I really, truly felt like I was called to be a mother above all else…I would have done that years ago. When I was in my early twenties, I was dating a man who plainly said that he wanted to have kids, but that he would not hesitate to leave once we “outgrew each other.” I could have said “OK” and have had wonderful children with him. We’ll never know.

I’m also an ethnic minority…and not just any ethnic minority…the ethnic minority that has the most trouble finding a spouse (yes, even- perhaps especially- within my own group). I can’t change the world we live in and several centuries of prejudice. The reality is, in a world where we can shop for a spouse like we’re on a website that rhymes with Blamalon, some of us will have a much, much, much (much) smaller pool to choose from than others. I’m not saying “nobody wants me”…I’m just explaining why being out there more might be a better remedy for some more than others. This is part of what I was touching on when I said that it may be possible that some of us have vocations that cannot be lived out in the world as it is today.

I’ll be honest- I haven’t been pounding the pavement of online dating sites lately because I’ve been focused on other areas of my life. When I was on them, I did talk with and even met a handful of men, each of whom was kind, thoughtful, and respectful. When they chose other women, most even messaged me to let me know, which I very much appreciated in the age of “ghosting”…So I will say, to the ladies that are out there in online dating world- it’s not all bad. There are men out there who will respect you, you can meet them and talk with them and get to know them.
 
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I would suggest being the best person you can be, living the best life you can. I think this business about vocations makes things way more complicated than they need to be. Some children know they want to be a doctor from the age of 5. Or firefighter. Or a teacher. Or a nurse. The rest of us don’t. That doesn’t make our lives and any less valuable. Enjoy your life the way it is.
 
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