Could this be love?

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Philology

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My SSA (same sex attraction) is getting worse daily, and I am even wondering if what I feel for another boy might be love. But then I remember what sort of sins could be produced from this, and am almost becoming obssessed with finding out if the feelings are mutual (they probably aren’t, but if i tell myself that I’ll become depressed. Could this be true love, or just a clever ruse from satan? I attend a Christian private school, and even now I am sick with constant anxiety. Pray for me.
 
Hey Phil-

I was going to post on another thread that I really respected you for having these feelings but not acting on them. It is a difficult cross to bear and you have my thoughts and prayers.

I would seek a spiritual director whom you can speak to privately and honestly. Your hormones are shooting all over the place right now and everything feels so intense. Pray to our Mother for her help as: “Never was it known that anyone who flies to your protection or implores your help is left unaided.”

Again, my prayers are with you.
 
Ok, out on the limb go I!

I am no expert.

But of course it could be love.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me, that doesn’t mean it would be right for you to act on these feelings.

We can’t deny our feelings, attractions, etc. For example, left to my own devices, I would happily spend my life by a pool, half drunk, attended by scantily clad young women. I would certainly desire this and would find it quite pleasurable.

So to answer your question. It could be a ruse from the devil but it really could be love.

So, what you need to do is to pray for strength to resist this temptation. Do not pursue this to find out if the other guy feels the same way, that doesn’t matter in the least.

If you have homosexual tendencies and desires then you’ve been given a hard row to hoe. Hard but, with God’s help, no where near impossible.

I’ll pray for you right now.
 
True love is selfless, what you seem to be describing is not love but infatuation and it will pass.
 
It isn’t love, it’s infatuation. The more you focus on it, debate it in your head, or rather, obsess about the problem, the more it becomes the forbidden fruit.

Do you best, instead of praying to take it away, give the problem to God (pray for the issue, and for God to lead you in His path), and then allow yourself to focus on other things. Because as long as you let it preoccupy your mind, you’ll always toy with the desire. (same with all desires)
 
As above, your hormones are probably in full force and they impact belief, desires, compulsions, etc.

The anxiety you feel will decrease with age, time and experience.

Infatuation, sexual desire, love - as we age we develop ways to protect our soul and yet interact in relationship to others.

Have you looked toward online chastity support groups or the Courage apostolate?

couragerc.net/
 
Good advice above, OP. I’d also add, starve the attraction by pouring yourself into other wholesome passions (like reading, sports, drawing, whatever your talents are). The key is to keep your mind off of the wrong inclination.
 
Milesius said:
True love is selfless, what you seem to be describing is not love but infatuation and it will pass.
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I’m afraid I’ve experienced the same thing before, and in that instance it didn’t pass untill I had left that school (for a different reason). I hope you are right, and it does pass. Why did God create me this way? (I am not effiminate, and I thats why no one suspects me. I am just as masculine as other boy’s.)
 
In your other post you said you used to be attracted to the opposite sex, and this same sex attraction is fairly recent.

Maybe something happened that triggered this. Something you haven’t dealt with. In any case, it doesn’t sound like God specifically made you this way.
 
Philology said:
I’m afraid I’ve experienced the same thing before, and in that instance it didn’t pass untill I had left that school (for a different reason). I hope you are right, and it does pass. Why did God create me this way? (I am not effiminate, and I thats why no one suspects me. I am just as masculine as other boy’s.)
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He probably didn’t create you that way, according to some psychologists 90% of same sex attraction disorder is caused by things a person experiences after they are born in which case the world and your experiences in it mroe than likely made you this way not God, which should give you hope because it also means the possibility exists that you can also rid yourself of these unwanted attractions.

Infatuation in general decreases as you mature as long as you do not feed them.

Have you considered seeking treatment for same sex attraction disorder?
 
Philology said:
I’m afraid I’ve experienced the same thing before, and in that instance it didn’t pass untill I had left that school (for a different reason). I hope you are right, and it does pass. Why did God create me this way? (I am not effiminate, and I thats why no one suspects me. I am just as masculine as other boy’s.)
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Marriage books dedicated to people remaining celibate until marriage quote a figure that a man and a woman can be infatuated with each other for two years before real love sets in. And this can be two years after they marry (two years of indulging their desires). This being the cause for a steadfast will to personal values, otherwise following one’s desire can only lead to heartache or worse.

EDIT: in other words, infatuation isn’t something that goes away when someone leaves the room. That’s physical attraction. Infatuation is the desire to make every excuse in the book that being with the person you’re attracted to is ok.
 
Philology said:
I’m afraid I’ve experienced the same thing before, and in that instance it didn’t pass untill I had left that school (for a different reason). I hope you are right, and it does pass. Why did God create me this way? (I am not effiminate, and I thats why no one suspects me. I am just as masculine as other boy’s.)
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God didn’t create you that way. Sin existing in the world through Adam and Eve’s disobedience is what caused this. Sin messes everything up, that’s why each person has their own struggles. I struggle with lust and gluttony, but I have friends that do not, but they struggle with pride and arrogance. What matters is that we throw ourselves upon Christ’s mercy and daily beg Him for aid. Seek God first above all every day, and everything else begins to fall in line. You may be called to a life of celibacy, which may sound unpleasant at first, but you will find that celibacy can lead to a life of wonderful ministry.

I am married and have children, and so I can see how being married and having a family seriously hinders my ministry outside of my family (which is not a bad thing). A celibate has so much more freedom to minister to the lost. Think of this as an opportunity to live a life like St. Paul, think of how you can turn this struggle into something that can glorify God. For it is in our weakness that God’s power is made perfect in us (2 Cor. 12:9).
 
dswearin said:
God didn’t create you that way. Sin existing in the world through Adam and Eve’s disobedience is what caused this. Sin messes everything up, that’s why each person has their own struggles. I struggle with lust and gluttony, but I have friends that do not, but they struggle with pride and arrogance. What matters is that we throw ourselves upon Christ’s mercy and daily beg Him for aid. Seek God first above all every day, and everything else begins to fall in line. You may be called to a life of celibacy, which may sound unpleasant at first, but you will find that celibacy can lead to a life of wonderful ministry.

I am married and have children, and so I can see how being married and having a family seriously hinders my ministry outside of my family (which is not a bad thing). A celibate has so much more freedom to minister to the lost. Think of this as an opportunity to live a life like St. Paul, think of how you can turn this struggle into something that can glorify God. For it is in our weakness that God’s power is made perfect in us (2 Cor. 12:9).
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Your comment has made my day. I will try to make the best of my weakness, and with God’s grace it will carry me through the difficulties of life.
 
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