Could use some advice/prayers for heartache

[ShrodingersCat]

To answer your question about discernment, God won’t zap you with a lightening bolt of clarity… You need to date the guy in order to discern! Or, you know, ascertain whether he’s on the market in the first place.

Infatuation is an important but temporary feeling in the dating process. Loving someone is a decision. You could be happy with any one of a number of different men who’s personalities, interests and life goals are in line with your own preferences and who are of good character so don’t stress! Dating is just trial and error, though you can get lucky first time too!

 

[AdamP88]

That’s an amazing story! Very inspiring! Sounds like a match made in Heaven. What you said about it happening very naturally makes me wonder if there’s suppose to be all this uncertainty and confusion when it comes to falling in love. I always told myself that if I ever DID find someone to marry, I’d be sure of it! Right now, I’m not sure which way is up or down with my current situation. Hmmm…

I think that is correct. I’m not saying that you aren’t going to marry this man, but it does sound like you have sort of bigged this up in your head a bit. Very often, it’s relationships that develop naturally and organically that lead to marriage.

 

[smallcat]

Are there other opportunities besides Mass to get to know this man a little better? Coffee and donuts afterwards, a ministry he is involved with? If you don’t know, that would be an easy conversation starter after Mass - “Hey, I was thinking of joining pro-life group/working with the Habitat for Humanity project/etc- do you know anything about it?” Or ask if he’s going to a church event- “I’m going to the Fatima talk on Friday- it looks really good. Are you going?” then if he says yes, you could suggest meeting there and sitting together or something. Chances are if he’s interested in you he will take you up on an offer like that.

 

[Patavium]

Also met on CAF, prayed the St. Michael’s Chaplet almost every day and the Rosary sometimes together on the phone. It just happened too.

There are also other couples that met on CAF.

OP, just be open to meeting others, and continuing the conversation, and see where it goes. At the same time, keep your ears open so you can discern if this person is right for you.

 

[roamingitalian]

I think that is correct. I’m not saying that you aren’t going to marry this man, but it does sound like you have sort of bigged this up in your head a bit. Very often, it’s relationships that develop naturally and organically that lead to marriage.

I guess it is true that if it’s meant to happen, it will! Right now, I think I need to chill a bit and just leave it in God’s Hands, AND stop overthinking every little thing that does or doesn’t happen. I want to thank you for being so helpful with this emotional, wacky girl’s non-boyfriend problem. Everything you’ve said has really helped, and I really appreciate it!

 

[roamingitalian]

Are there other opportunities besides Mass to get to know this man a little better? Coffee and donuts afterwards, a ministry he is involved with? If you don’t know, that would be an easy conversation starter after Mass - “Hey, I was thinking of joining pro-life group/working with the Habitat for Humanity project/etc- do you know anything about it?” Or ask if he’s going to a church event- “I’m going to the Fatima talk on Friday- it looks really good. Are you going?” then if he says yes, you could suggest meeting there and sitting together or something. Chances are if he’s interested in you he will take you up on an offer like that.

I know he does some volunteer work- I’m not exactly sure what kind it is, but it couldn’t hurt to ask, right?

 

[roamingitalian]

Also met on CAF, prayed the St. Michael’s Chaplet almost every day and the Rosary sometimes together on the phone. It just happened too.

There are also other couples that met on CAF.

OP, just be open to meeting others, and continuing the conversation, and see where it goes. At the same time, keep your ears open so you can discern if this person is right for you.

Everyone seems to have had the same type of experience with falling in love…It just happened. I’m beginning to think that God is trying to tell me something here, that He’s in control and I need to take a back seat and let Him work in my life. You’re right, I need to be completely open to whatever He has in store for me, and not try and do things my way. I will try my best to follow your advice.

 

[Viki63]

While I think backing off and focusing on other areas of your life is a good idea, I also think this is a good suggestion:

If you are still interested in seeing where this might lead, why not ask him out for coffee after mass the next time you see him… … just an opportunity to talk and get to know each other. .

If the opportunity comes up, why not ask him if he’d like to chat over coffee? Not to ask him how he feels about you, because he doesn’t know you. Just to chat. Then the ball is in his court and if he’s interested/available he will follow up. If not, no harm done.
God bless.

.

 

[AdamP88]

Everyone seems to have had the same type of experience with falling in love…It just happened. I’m beginning to think that God is trying to tell me something here, that He’s in control and I need to take a back seat and let Him work in my life. You’re right, I need to be completely open to whatever He has in store for me, and not try and do things my way. I will try my best to follow your advice.

This is true. I worried for years about finding a wife. Then I actually joined a religious order and let go of that completely. Then I decided it wasn’t for me and left. Literally right after I left I met my wife.

These things happen in God’s time. Not to say you shouldn’t be on the lookout but you meet many people in life. Not all of them are meant to be in your life long-term. Really, out of all the people you meet in life, only a tiny minority will still be around in ten years. Only one will be a spouse.

 

[roamingitalian]

If the opportunity comes up, why not ask him if he’d like to chat over coffee? Not to ask him how he feels about you, because he doesn’t know you. Just to chat. Then the ball is in his court and if he’s interested/available he will follow up. If not, no harm done.
God bless.

.

You’re right! I think if this is ever going to go anywhere, a solid friendship has to be made first just to get to know each other better.

 

[roamingitalian]

This is true. I worried for years about finding a wife. Then I actually joined a religious order and let go of that completely. Then I decided it wasn’t for me and left. Literally right after I left I met my wife.

These things happen in God’s time. Not to say you shouldn’t be on the lookout but you meet many people in life. Not all of them are meant to be in your life long-term. Really, out of all the people you meet in life, only a tiny minority will still be around in ten years. Only one will be a spouse.

I feel like God has a sense of humor when it comes to directing our paths in life. When we try to shut doors on our own, that’s when He opens them, why is it (at times) so hard to trust He’s looking out for us though? You’re right, there is only a small amount of people who will last in the long run. Which is why, I’m thinking that finding a good spouse is something that takes a little more time and effort in finding than just rushing into things because of emotions…I think I’m finally calming down about this dilemma of mine!