Couples in line for communion, ladies first?

[Cat]

THis is interesting perspective, and I do not question it. However, if I were you I would consider one issue. It is likely that most people who witness this would interpret your action exactly opposite as to what you intent: ie “here is a woman who thinks she wears the pants in the family”. Why? well many couples the husbands always lets the wife go first, many couples don’t worry about it at all and just go to communion in the order they happen to be sitting, but I have never seen a couple where the wife stands aside and lets the husband go first. And unless you have told your husband why you do it, maybe even he is not interpreting it correctly.

In short it is a nice gesture you are making, but it just appears too backwards to the norm to be the polite and respectful gesture you intend. YMMV

Yes, my husband knows why I do it and he understands and appreciates my gesture and my attitude.

The people in the parish who know us know that I am not a woman who thinks I wear the pants in the family. And I think that my body language at the time of Holy Communion makes it very clear that I am not trying to lord it over my husband or anyone else. My head is bowed, my eyes are down, my hands are folded.

IF anyone were to ask, I would point them to Ephesians 5: 22-24 and tell them that I am trying to obey the admonition in these verses not only during Holy Communion, but in all of our marriage. I would also gently point out that my husband and I have been happily married for 33 years, so we must be doing something right.

Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and His Bride, the Church. To me, it makes sense that I, who represent the Bride-Church, would FOLLOW my husband, who represents Christ. It makes no sense to me that Christ would follow His Church, other than to watch out for them in a dangerous situation and help them to stay on the path. But Holy Communion is not a “dangerous” situation.

 

[Razanir]

(Does anyone believe thieves never go to church? Our pastor had to warn the women to take their purses to communion with them. There had been thefts at Mass, presumably during communion, and he reminded us it is wrong to confront others with a near occasion of sin.)

For us it’s having to lock the door to the choir room. One of the girls had her purse stolen once

Back on topic, in all three churches I go to with any sort of frequency (home, Mom’s hometown, Newman Center) it’s always just seating order The only exception is if one side has significantly more people than the other, they’ll move over to the other line to balance it out. Although I do sit on the choir balcony, so I could always people watch and try to notice stuff like this.

On a final side note, one of the things I love about the choir balcony that is the bulk of the reason I sing during my off weeks from playing flute– The view. You know how sports fans might really want skybox seats? Yeah. That’s the choir balcony for me at Mass

 

[Nechasin]

I didn’t read the whole thread, but I’m one of the guys that allows my whole family to go ahead of me, and I since I don’t leave my son in the pew by himself, he goes right ahead of me. It is a moment of chivalry and letting the women go first. It is putting my bride and my family ahead of myself like Christ put the church in front of him.

 

[brinkman2310]

For whatever reason, I usually end up filing out of our pew before my wife and I always just go ahead in line because the folks in the pew behind have usually made it to the aisle as well, so getting out of my wife’s way to let her go first would mean pushing someone out of the way.

BTW, when getting in to a taxi, ladies last.

 

[FatherOfTwelve]

I actually was thinking the other way around as far as married couples going up for Communion- the wife is first as the husband is handing himself over by allowing her to go first to Christ. I can see it would work either way if there was a symbolic meaning to who was the first in line.

But OTOH, going forward to receive Holy Communion also means going forward to lay ourselves down on the cross with Jesus and sacrifice our lives with Him. In a true execution, I think that a noble man would sacrifice himself first.

I’m not saying that everyone should do it this way. It’s just the way my husband and I prefer. I doubt anyone else in the church has ever noticed that I step aside and gesture for him to go first.

Interesting points of view.
I myself always go first, It is a decision I made when we converted to the Catholic Church. I take it as my solemn duty to lead my family to Christ.

With that said, I’m not a “Stickler” for doing it. When we visit other churches and I don’t get “My” seat, I go with the flow

 

[chevalier]

Like someone said, it has no religious significance per se (charity does, kindness generally does and politeness may have religious significance, though) and Cat’s rationale has merit–it does sound very different when a woman says it than if a man did.

The idea that men should let women first is a nice one in holding back a primitive external manifestation of pecking order.

The funny thing, however, is that sometimes kindness manifests itself–or rather doesn’t manifest itself externally (hehe)–in allowing others to be the kinder person. For example when you’re a man and allow a woman to hold the door for you when you’re carrying something heavy, instead of being a dumb klotz and refusing her help to rely on acrobatics instead. I imagine married couples go through a lot of who gets to pour coffee for whom at the table and allowing the other to pour it for you is the bigger concession sometimes. But I digress.

For the record, it wouldn’t be particularly classy for a woman to enforce the “ladies first” on a man other than perhaps with the intention to correct his manners so that he could be more cultured or to chastise someone who really, really should’ve known better (which shouldn’t really be presumed, I imagine there are men who have stopped doing it because they think women want equality and so don’t want any special treatment). A woman does wait to be let first when it wouldn’t slow down the traffic to do so or something else like that.