Couples in line for communion, ladies first?

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Cat said:
My husband and I are converts to Catholicism from evangelical Protestantism. We were received into the Church in 2004.

From the very beginning, I have deliberately stepped aside in the aisle and indicated that my HUSBAND should go first, and I follow him.

He is the head of our house, and my act is a way of recognizing this and telling him that I accept his headship over our household.

This is also my way of telling God that I respect HIS authority and the earthly authorities that He has placed over me, mainly His Church.

I never worry that my husband will misuse his God-granted authority. Here’s why:

HE was the first of us to be “ready” to become Catholic, and I told him back then to go ahead and get confirmed and hopefully someday I would be ready.

He said, “No.” He would not enter the Church alone, but would wait for me to be ready and we would go in together.

This kindness and sacrifice on his part was a major factor in helping me to be ready to convert to Catholicism and commit to Christ’s Church.

I know that some women wear head-coverings to demonstrate their submissiveness. For me, it’s following my husband to Communion.
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I actually was thinking the other way around as far as married couples going up for Communion- the wife is first as the husband is handing himself over by allowing her to go first to Christ. I can see it would work either way if there was a symbolic meaning to who was the first in line.
 
LightBound said:
I actually was thinking the other way around as far as married couples going up for Communion- the wife is first as the husband is handing himself over by allowing her to go first to Christ. I can see it would work either way if there was a symbolic meaning to who was the first in line.
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I like cats version. But I’m with you. Ephesians 5: A man should lay his life down for his bride as Christ lay down his life for the Church. That type of knighthood imagery leads me to let the lady go first…
Just a matter of taste I guess.
 
Moore11 said:
I like cats version. But I’m with you. Ephesians 5: A man should lay his life down for his bride as Christ lay down his life for the Church. That type of knighthood imagery leads me to let the lady go first…
Just a matter of taste I guess.
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Another lovely gesture I see at my parish,is couples standing side by side to receive the Euchrist…however,even in that situation,the husband receives after his wife.😉
 
mommamaree said:
This is interesting to me because my husband does not do this. He and I both are focused upon an arrangement that allows for maximum control of rambunctious children, which usually includes one or both of us holding a youngster in the procession. Added to that, our oldest is preparing for her first communion, so we are getting her used to walking forward solemnly and reverently. It is quite a feat to accomplish all of this without incident, while still being able to receive Communion ourselves. 😛
That being said, I cannot imagine caring one way or the other on the occasions that wrangling babies is no longer a consideration. I would probably wonder what in the world he was waiting for! 😃
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Yeah, me too.
 
^ I’d really have no idea how to manage a family communion line with several very young children, and it seems that practicality would rule the day! FWIW, you’re fortunate in that you are actually able to attend Mass together!
 
I absolutely LOVE chivalry and in an ideal world, men would always let woman go first. But let’s face, there are practicalities involved. Like some moms have posted, they would rather do whatever keeps the kids calm. Also, if it is going to cause people to jump over others (especially is the woman is wearing a skirt) then whatever is convenient is the way to go

CM
 
Moore11 said:
I like cats version. But I’m with you. Ephesians 5: A man should lay his life down for his bride as Christ lay down his life for the Church. That type of knighthood imagery leads me to let the lady go first…
Just a matter of taste I guess.
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But OTOH, going forward to receive Holy Communion also means going forward to lay ourselves down on the cross with Jesus and sacrifice our lives with Him. In a true execution, I think that a noble man would sacrifice himself first.

I’m not saying that everyone should do it this way. It’s just the way my husband and I prefer. I doubt anyone else in the church has ever noticed that I step aside and gesture for him to go first.
 
Matthew 20:16 " Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last."
 
My family does not do this. We go to communion in the order in which we are seated, so our communion order changes week to week. If the practice makes someone feel happy or loved, more power to him or her. I do not intend to do it ever.
 
For my husband and I…whomever the kiddo is most comfy with at the moment…goes first.
She’s only 8 months and by the time communion starts…she’s getting restless and wants out of our hands so she can wiggle around on the floor. 😃
She seems to get a kick out of the communion line anyway…so if she can see more then she more inclined to look around instead of fuss.

But to be totally honest…I don’t think we’ve ever thought out a preference before she was born. Sometimes it was pew order, sometimes my husband would insist on ladies first and other times I’d insist he go first.

🤷
 
Phemie said:
To me it all depends on how you return to your pew. If you re-enter the pew from the same side you exited, then it makes sense to allow those behind you to go up first. But if, as in most place I’ve been, you re-enter the pew from the other side, then just keep walking when you exit - that allows the return to the pew to be in the proper order. But that’s just my anal, orderly mind. 😛
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Mine too, Phemie.

Where I attend Mass in my true home with my family we exit one side of the pew and enter the other so we simply go in order so that mom and dad end up back at the bag of ‘kid stuff’ and the rest of the adults back with their lesser belongings.

Where I attend Mass for most of the year, we exit and enter the pew at the same place BUT folk step out of the pew and straight into the communion line, so on return the ones who were further in step over the first ones and it’s messy. I am on my own, and at the end of the pew at these Masses and generally step back as I exit the pew before joining the communion line so that ‘my’ pew is orderly in my mind. 😊
 
I don’t have a wife or girlfriend yet, but I would definitely follow this practice. To me it’s just another chivalrous way to show her my love and respect (And trust me, chivalry is one of my biggest things).

But can someone tell me what “DH” means? I see it all the time but I have never figured it out.
 
ATeutonicKnight said:
I don’t have a wife or girlfriend yet, but I would definitely follow this practice. To me it’s just another chivalrous way to show her my love and respect (And trust me, chivalry is one of my biggest things).

But can someone tell me what “DH” means? I see it all the time but I have never figured it out.
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DH= Dear Husband
 
One issue that comes up in our parish is that both the Body and the Precious Blood are offered. Not everyone will receive the Precious Blood. My husband will often receive the Precious Blood, but I never do.

So returning to the pews is always a little disorderly. I usually just go back to my pew and sit on the end until my husband and others who receive the Precious Blood return. Often people will walk around the pew to return to their seat rather than climb over someone. My husband will simply sit on the outside (we switch places).

It all works out and no one gets upset. But I thought it was worth mentioning because returning to the pews is never as orderly as processing forward to receive Holy Communion.
 
Eh, we don’t have a set way of doing things. I think my main focus at communion is that we’re both receiving, not who is receiving first/last.
 
Cat said:
My husband and I are converts to Catholicism from evangelical Protestantism. We were received into the Church in 2004.

From the very beginning, I have deliberately stepped aside in the aisle and indicated that my HUSBAND should go first, and I follow him.

He is the head of our house, and my act is a way of recognizing this and telling him that I accept his headship over our household.

This is also my way of telling God that I respect HIS authority and the earthly authorities that He has placed over me, mainly His Church.

I never worry that my husband will misuse his God-granted authority. Here’s why:

HE was the first of us to be “ready” to become Catholic, and I told him back then to go ahead and get confirmed and hopefully someday I would be ready.

He said, “No.” He would not enter the Church alone, but would wait for me to be ready and we would go in together.

This kindness and sacrifice on his part was a major factor in helping me to be ready to convert to Catholicism and commit to Christ’s Church.

I know that some women wear head-coverings to demonstrate their submissiveness. For me, it’s following my husband to Communion.
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THis is interesting perspective, and I do not question it. However, if I were you I would consider one issue. It is likely that most people who witness this would interpret your action exactly opposite as to what you intent: ie “here is a woman who thinks she wears the pants in the family”. Why? well many couples the husbands always lets the wife go first, many couples don’t worry about it at all and just go to communion in the order they happen to be sitting, but I have never seen a couple where the wife stands aside and lets the husband go first. And unless you have told your husband why you do it, maybe even he is not interpreting it correctly.

In short it is a nice gesture you are making, but it just appears too backwards to the norm to be the polite and respectful gesture you intend. YMMV
 
tafan said:
THis is interesting perspective, and I do not question it. However, if I were you I would consider one issue. **It is likely that most people who witness this would interpret your action exactly opposite as to what you intent: ie “here is a woman who thinks she wears the pants in the family”. ** Why? well many couples the husbands always lets the wife go first, many couples don’t worry about it at all and just go to communion in the order they happen to be sitting, but I have never seen a couple where the wife stands aside and lets the husband go first. And unless you have told your husband why you do it, maybe even he is not interpreting it correctly.

In short it is a nice gesture you are making, but it just appears too backwards to the norm to be the polite and respectful gesture you intend. YMMV
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I would say that if this is what people are thinking about as they are preparing to receive communion themselves, then that’s a bigger issue.
 
I’ve always let my wife go first - never really thought about it till I read this thread. However, more often than not I let ‘she who must be obeyed’ into the line, then notice that old Mrs whassername is next, so I let her go next but then see that old Mr whasshis name is behind her and not wanting to split them I let him go and before I know it what was an orderly queue is fragmented. I can only blame this on my old dad who always told me that politeness would get me places LOL
 
Lucky7 said:
I would say that if this is what people are thinking about as they are preparing to receive communion themselves, then that’s a bigger issue.
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Point taken. OTH, if everyone in the Church is so engrossed in preparing themselves to receive the Lord, why would a husband (or a wife in this case) even think about letting the other go first?
 
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