Couples using NFP/I need encouragemen

  • Thread starter Thread starter adv
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

adv

Guest
I am 36 years old and my husband is 42. We have been married 13 years and just had our third child 3 months ago. We have used contraception over the years and switched to different types thinking one was less evil or sinful than another. Well, after much soul searching we finally realized the truth about contraception and we are signed up for a NFP class next week. I am scared. Is it really effective? If it is, why don’t we hear about it. I don’t know any couples who practice NFP, We feel like we are alone in this. Any facts, friendly advice or encouragement would be appreciated.

Thanks
 
I signed up for a NFP class last year before I got married. I ended up dropping out of the class because I didn’t have time to plan my wedding and to do all of the reading, etc.

I’ve been reading my NFP books on my own, and I am hoping to sign up for the official class again this fall. I really liked the few classes I attended, and I think it is a great way to learn about your body. I am still learning how to chart everything at home.

I actually signed up for the class so that I could learn more about my FERTILE times (rather than infertile times) and hoped it would help me and my husband to conceive a child quickly.

I’ve heard it is as effective as any regular birth control if done properly ( 97-98% effective). I think you just don’t hear about it much because people are too lazy to learn how to do it.

Good luck to you!

Karen
 
Of course it is effective. It is the most effective because you are in control of when you have sex and when you abstain, you know when you are fertile and when you are not.

When you rely on contraception, you are relying on its manufacturer (who might have created a defective product) and you have no idea if it will fail or not, and no idea if you are fertile or not.

To me, knowing what I know, I would be worried if I contracepted way more than with NFP.

I am taking Creighton classes and will be married in August. www.creightonmodel.com and www.fertilitycare.org have information on this particular method of NFP.
 
My sister is a teacher of the Creighton Model of NFP and she taught me the method over 5 years ago. It is a great, reliable method. But, the method is so much more than that. It allows you to get to know your body more and it allows you to work with your spouse and grow to a deeper level. Other contraceptive methods rely on one person to take the responsiblity, but with NFP you really have to work together as a couple.

I used other methods prior to getting serious about my Catholic faith and its teachings. With other methods you do not have to put much thought or effort into making it work. NFP makes you very conscious of birth control or fertilization. I feel so much better using the method and knowing I am doing what is right.

Once you become comfortable with the method you will not want to try anything else. Good luck!
 
We use NFP and always have. It is reliable. Do you mean you don’t hear about it in the media or from your friends? Most people are too lazy to learn it, but it isn’t that hard. A friend of mine said “But you have to remeber to take your temp each day!” And I said right back to her, “With your method you have to remeber to take a pill each day! What’s teh big deal?” I am very much in tune with my body, but my husband is as well. I have heard a lot about the Creighton Modle lately and am thinking of looking into it.
 
anne m:

So glad to hear that you are going to learn about NFP! I agree with the above posts: NFP is good for marriage, good for the soul, and helpful at increasing your understanding of GOD’S role in birth, etc. and it is effective: 99% method effective is what I’ve read. I learned NFP through Couple to Couple League, and they have been very helpful in teaching the method, and also helping me understand my body. The teaching couples are very supportive. You can find your nearest teaching couple on the website. It might even be good to talk to a local couple now to help ease your mind.
Good luck! 🙂
 
40.png
adv:
Well, after much soul searching we finally realized the truth about contraception and we are signed up for a NFP class next week. I am scared. Is it really effective? If it is, why don’t we hear about it. I don’t know any couples who practice NFP, We feel like we are alone in this. Any facts, friendly advice or encouragement would be appreciated.
Click to expand...
It’s not common knowledge for several reasons. One is that doctors and pharmaceutical companies can’t make any money off of NFP. There’s no incentive. Any promotion of NFP just cuts into their sales. Doctors are not aware of NFP since their education is centered on prescriptions. In my NFP teacher training, several doctors were also in training and were frustrated their education did not include anything to do with fertility.

Another reason is lack of motivation (as other posters mentioned). NFP requires you to be in control. Many women take the easy route and let their doctors and pharmaceutical companies control their fertility. It’s easy just to follow directions (usually).

However, it’s not as hard as it may sound. NFP is safe, healthy, effective, and moral.
  • Safe - no risk of future infertility with drugs or surgeries. No side effects (some of which can lead to death). In addition, for the times contraception fails, you don’t have the risk of birth defects.
  • Healthy - NFP is healthy since you get to know your body better and naturally. Contraceptives can cover potential health issues that could be addressed early on before trying to become pregnant. Again, you are not harming your body with artificial hormones.
  • Effective - NFP can be just as effective as any of the best contraceptives. Properly motivated and trained, studies have shown greater than 99% effectiveness. Unfortunately, common literature that mentions “NFP” often mix and match effectiveness rates of other “NFP” methods such as rhythm method or nothing at all. Very misleading.
  • Moral - You will discover the moral and loving benefits of NFP in your marriage. You will experience the “Full, Faithful, Fruitful, and Freely” gift of marriage you vowed on your wedding. You will not hold something back (fertility) from your spouse, you will learn to pray together to guide your decision whether this cycle has a just reason for delaying a pregnancy, increase communication between you and your spouse, and really open yourself up to God and your spouse.
Now, I say that it is not easy. it can be challenging. However, the benefits far out weight the “easy” way out which is actually harder in the long run. If you and your husband truly work together and support each other, you’ll see how NFP can be a new “lifestyle” that will truly make you happy.

You’ve done the hard step - signing up for a class. Your teachers should be a good reference for you in the future when you have any questions. The class (depending on who’s teaching it) should provide you with all the necessary information. Attending class gives you the additional opportunity to ask the teachers questions. Remember, the teachers have probably heard it all, so don’t be embarrassed. Approach them privately if you prefer. And be sure your husband goes with you. Fertility is a couple gift.
 
It is reliable and personally I find that myself and my friends that use NFP have sex more often than my friends that use the pill, FWIW.

Also, If you are breastfeeding your new babe (congrats on the baby) you should read Breastfeeding and Natural Childspacing by Shelia Kippley as well as take NFP classes ASAP.

I read that book and leanred how to maximize infertility from BF. I am over 13 months PPM and have not resumed fertility. It works different for everyone, but the important thing is knowing your body so you know how to work with NFP.
 
Very effective. You can also supplement with a fertility monitor which uses sticks you urinate on to tell you hormonally if you are fertile. Also you can use lady comp or baby comp. Google them and check out their website. After you do NFP for a while, you tend to see some patterns, which should make you feel more comfortable.
 
Benefits of using NFP

· Can be used to achieve, postpone, and avoid a pregnancy.

· Gives couples better understanding and appreciation of fertility.

· Safe, reliable, and healthy.

· Increases intimacy.

· Increases communication.

· Couples share family planning responsibility.

· Causes no harm nor has any side effects.

Couples that are married by a justice of peace – 50% of marriages end in divorce.

Couples married by the Church – 33% of marriages end in divorce.

Couples married by the Church and attend Church together – 2% end in divorce.

Couples using NFP – 2-5% end in divorce.

Couples married by the Church, pray together, and use NFP - .001 – 1% end in divorce.

(Statistical information from “The Practice of Natural Family Planning Versus the Use of Artificial Birth Control: Family, Sexual and Moral Issues” by Mercedes Arzu Wilson, in Catholic Social Science Review, Vol VII, Nov. 2002)

.
 
40.png
spacecadet:
It is reliable and personally I find that myself and my friends that use NFP have sex more often than my friends that use the pill, FWIW.

Also, If you are breastfeeding your new babe (congrats on the baby) you should read Breastfeeding and Natural Childspacing by Shelia Kippley as well as take NFP classes ASAP.

I read that book and leanred how to maximize infertility from BF. I am over 13 months PPM and have not resumed fertility. It works different for everyone, but the important thing is knowing your body so you know how to work with NFP.
Click to expand...
I love this book. I went 13 months also with my daughter. 14 with the son I had before her. Only two cylces in between. It is a wonderful book and I have given it to several friends when they became pregnant with their first.
 
I have been using it for almost 2 years to postpone pregnancy with 100% effectiveness. It does take self-discipline to abstain though… but the health benefits outweigh using birth control. I have never used birth control and now I would be horrified to put the chemicals into my body. Plus, my friends who use it have gained around 10-15 pounds and have to pay for the pills every month. Once you learn it, it is pretty easy. It takes a month or two to get used to the charting, but after a while you get familiar enough with your body to understand what is going on. There are also different rules to use which help you if you want to be more or less conservative with it. It really is a medical breakthrough (NFP), but it seems to be really unheard of by regular people. I had my doubts at first too- it all seem kind of disgusting and touchy feely to be observing my body in the ways that NFP requires, but you really get used to it and realize you never knew how your body worked before! God bless you in your decision to try NFP!
 
Just to add… the NFP method itself is about 100% effective. The only thing that might make it ineffective is if you “blow off” the rules and don’t abstain when you are supposed to. Or, if you don’t complete your chart fully and leave gaps and try to guess your temp. shift. Otherwise, if you complete the chart fully, have had cyle or 2 of experience, and you understand how to apply the rules, it should be as effective as using chemical forms of birth control. People say “NFP won’t work for me” are using it as an excuse and just want to do what they want to anyways without concern for morals. I am not saying this is you at all, and I think many people do not understand why birth control is wrong, but people don’t want to put in the extra effort to live morally if there is an easy way out, especially if “everyone else” is using birth control.
 
I was hesitant for many years to try NFP, not trusting it or myself. Finally, DH and I jumped on board last year and let me just say that if Pope Benedict announced tomorrow that he’s allowing contraception (of course that won’t happen), I’d never go back to the old way. I trust NFP more than I trust any method of contraception on the market. It’s actually very liberating. 😉
 
I too am thinking about NFP, It was always our plan to take the classes right after we were married, well that didn’t happen. has anyone tried tha at home course, there are no classes in our area.
 
Why you haven’t heard about it? The Catholic Church can’t keep up with the millions of dollars that go into marketing contraceptives. Considering the average couple can spend 300-400 dollars a year in contraceptives, either directly or through their insurance there is a lot of money to be made from us. Once you learn NFP you don’t have to buy anything.

I have been praciticing for under five years now. It is really amazing to truely learn how our bodies work, instead of just the negativity around the woman’s body focusing constantly on her period. I use the billings method.
 
We used NFP for almost a year to postpone pregnancy and now are using it to get pregnant. It’s amazing the difference it makes in your marriage and in your level of intimacy. We use sympo-thermal, and even with gaps and some not-so-disciplined charting it was effective for us.
 
You are doing the right thing and it is really not that big of a deal. Do not be afraid. Definitely go through with it. It is a great moral/ spiritual thing to do and also will probably ultimately help your marriage and sex life. Hey, you get be on the good side with God and the church and it also helps your marriage. It’s very simple. God provided women the signs of fertility in their own bodily processes and it took modern science in the past 40 years or so to really get a handle on the signs. We use the Billings ovulation method of Natural Family Planning (there are several different methods) and I remember from our class that it is 97% or 98% effective as long as you follow the rules. The pill is like 98 or 99% effective. So, people are jeopardizing their marriages and their souls for something like 1% of reliability!

It takes a little getting used to, but in the vast scheme of things, I would say that I have done a thousand other more difficult things in my life. In my mind, unless I am weird or something, it is one of the easiest Christian things to do. The key is, understand your method well in the beginning and ask questions of your teacher and play it safe if you have doubts.

I understand the loneliness of NFP. We didn’t know too many who practiced it either. However, once we presented it to a few friends, they are now doing it too. If you need some support, we are located in the Chicago area. My email is ktoregan@aol.com if you have any questions or need support.

The reason NFP is not practiced enough is poor advertising. This is by far the biggest reason. One problem is that it is often confused for the rythym method, which was an earlier approved natural technique, which was not always reliable. The science simply was not there. Another problem is that priests never want to talk about it or anything sexual because they think they will get berated and called hypocrites or told “how can you talk about sex, when you never have it”.

Another problem is that NFP came out the same time as the pill did in the 60’s. The pill was simply very tempting for people to use. It was an easy fix that people didn’t think required much thought or would have any negative consequences. Also, the media has really pushed the pill and even now we have comercials for it. The last reason NFP is not very popular is because so many people in our culture our having sex outside of marriage, which typically involves using the pill. This caries into the marriage and people don’t see a reason to change. It takes some real soul searching on the part of the married couple before they realize the problem. As a former user of artificial conception, I thank God that he showed me the way. Not every one gets the chance for some reason or they are not really open to God, so they never change.

In short, wish you the best and I will pray for you. Please contact us if you want some help at ktoregan@aol.com.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top