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Faclon09
Guest
Hi new here. Ive only been Catholic for a few years. And would like to know what Courting is exactly? Hows it different from dating?
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Belgarion
Guest
Courting is essentially a more serious (and perhaps proper) form of dating.
Its dating for marriage, instead of dating for fun.
There are plenty of variations, and someone will probably correct me on how wrong I am in my summary.
But yeah…there you go!
Its dating for marriage, instead of dating for fun.
There are plenty of variations, and someone will probably correct me on how wrong I am in my summary.
But yeah…there you go!
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tampagrl
Guest
I’ve always understood the difference to be that in Courting, the intention is life-long - marriage. It’s like that’s the man’s mind-set right from the get-go.
Dating is more random, more casual. A man can date that girl or that girl and then that girl over there, maybe all at the same time. I’ve been married over 10yrs, so I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. You’ll probably get way clearer answers from the more scholarly CAF members.
Dating is more random, more casual. A man can date that girl or that girl and then that girl over there, maybe all at the same time. I’ve been married over 10yrs, so I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. You’ll probably get way clearer answers from the more scholarly CAF members.
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tampagrl
Guest
LOL! That’s right, there’s no fun allowed in Courting.
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Belgarion
Guest
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OLHope
Guest
Dating is the finding and interrogating. Once situations are comfortable, mutual, interests/goals discussed, and all persons involved seem to get along. I would say it seemingly takes a smooth transition into courting, where you are exclusive and intending on the long term together, and engagement is not too far off. I do not know why some would say that dating is fun, I have found it more awful and irritating, not to mention exhausting dating the wrong guys.
This is solidly Catholic dating and courting, so no intimacy or co-habitating is allowed. Where in its evil counterpart, popular culture dating has understood events that should take place at certain dates, which disgusts me.
This is solidly Catholic dating and courting, so no intimacy or co-habitating is allowed. Where in its evil counterpart, popular culture dating has understood events that should take place at certain dates, which disgusts me.
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tampagrl
Guest
Well, I’m sorry you’ve found dating awful and irritating, that’s too bad. Maybe before you agree to go out on a date, you should spend more time w/them in a group setting (?) Just a suggestion. I mean, even if you realize you’re not compatible, I would think you could still have a nice time on a date. Having said that, I did have my fair share of weird dates, but you have to just laugh it off - they do make for some funny stories years later. Maybe b/c I’m old & married I don’t fit into this conversation anymore, but I enjoyed dating. Dating to me was fun, b/c I got to go out with guys that I found interesting or just fun to be around. No pressures or anything immoral, just the nice company of a cool guy.
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OLHope
Guest
No immoral stuff. Never did that. Conversation blew. They were duds. For me, it is not really wise to go group dating until you figure out if you like them enough to meet your friends/family. I only did that once, never really liked the person, he was nice, but I wasn’t diggin him, and I knew it. A friend of three that came along, told me, “to give him a chance, you never give anyone a chance,” that made me feel guilty, so I did…, never a nothing, for nine long months he pursued every date, and I really was waiting for the time he’d just stop calling. We never kissed in all this time, I could barely have the urge to hug him. About three months in, I figured he was probably lonely and needed a friend, so I was in understanding that it was a just that, but even as a friend, it was miserable, and I am sure I should have said something at some point, but I thought well we are just friends… ok ok…, BUT he was losing a lot of weight, and then joining these races, and talking about healthy eating which was not like him in the beginning. A big negative was that he had no religion. Explaining this to my very religious mother was unbearable. “Well, what is he about?” she’d ask. Finally, then there was a falling out at a party and we parted ways. I knew I should have said something, but I really thought he just needed a friend, he seemed to have no one, and I felt bad for him, I never had any intention of stringing him along.
Never doing the group thing after that, and I am not listening to my friends advice. I have to handle this on my own. Anyway I was just giving my two cents, not everyone’s experience is the same. I would probably have more fun in courting because it is just a relief to find someone with their head and heart in the right place, and it would indicate more stability in the relationship.
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stringbeanduck
Guest
Dating is divorce in training.
Sorry, but it was bound to come up. lol.
Sorry, but it was bound to come up. lol.
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tampagrl
Guest
Good thinking there…only you know how you really feel and what type of guy is right for you.
Not to completely hijack this thread, but have you thought about Ava Maria singles - that online community? I’ve heard really good things and I’m actually considering trying to talk a friend of mine into joining…just wondering…
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KC91
Guest
Courting has many meanings, it sometimes could mean only seducing a girl.
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OLHope
Guest
Well the strange thing about this, we do not use this term in my area or even with other Catholics. I am sure in some old British movie I have seen along the way, it could have meant what you suggested, but I can understand seeing someone exclusively and giving people around you the understanding that you are in time to be engaged. You could also use the word exclusive, or you’re a couple, I guess. Also, it is stressed in the context in which you use the term, whatever gets the meaning underway or understood. Most times you don’t say anything especially if they are with you at all the events. I suppose I have heard the term so much on this site and just put together the notion that it is a formal way that people refer to it here in the CAF.
I have about 30 first cousins. Anytime anyone was introduced, a wedding followed not to long after. So there is a lot of pressure for me to find the right person, and not have to explain what happened if he is not showing up anymore.
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OLHope
Guest
Oh boy, please tell me this is a past exerpt from another thread.Dating is divorce in training.
Sorry, but it was bound to come up. lol.
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OLHope
Guest
Yes I know about AMS. I checked it out, and saw there were the same men on other Catholic and popular sites. I have referenced the dating sites before. I’m over it. I can peruse occasionally, but no one really stands out. I really like the freedom of being a single with little responsibility and worry, and it is perfectly acceptable in out faith. With my big fat Greek Wedding-like family, I’m never alone!
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ack
Guest
Courting is just a word. It means whatever you want it to mean.
People can argue over the meaning of the word “courting” and if “dating” is good or bad until they’re blue in the face…but in the end…it’s your life and you’re the one who has to live it.
You are required to practice chastity in everything you do, and your relations with the opposite sex must be honest and respectful. You are not required to follow someone else’s list of “courtship” rules to the letter.
People can argue over the meaning of the word “courting” and if “dating” is good or bad until they’re blue in the face…but in the end…it’s your life and you’re the one who has to live it.
You are required to practice chastity in everything you do, and your relations with the opposite sex must be honest and respectful. You are not required to follow someone else’s list of “courtship” rules to the letter.
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chevalier
Guest
Courting establishes improper pre-marital in-law relationships with the mother and father of the woman.Dating is divorce in training.
Sorry, but it was bound to come up. lol.
It’s also unconstitutional where you live because the right to due process implicit in the 14th amendment requires that a man only be subject to undue burden of in-laws when he’s willingly given his freedom from such away for a good and valuable consideration.
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OLHope
Guest
Yes! This sounds so familiar. “Hey Monty, let’s make a deal!” No falling in love neccesary! Whatchya got, son? How much to take this woman off your hands? I have been hearing the worst stereotypical stories in my culture, and it is outright embarrassing to bear listening to! However they are hilarious and make for a great new comedy sitcom.Courting establishes improper pre-marital in-law relationships with the mother and father of the woman.
It’s also unconstitutional where you live because the right to due process implicit in the 14th amendment requires that a man only be subject to undue burden of in-laws when he’s willingly given his freedom from such away for a good and valuable consideration.
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jczarn
Guest
The best book I have ever read on courtship is a book called “Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World - A Guide for Catholics” by T.G. Morrow. Speaking as one who is in courtship now, I would highly, highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more and/or considering courtship in the future. It is available from Amazon: amazon.com/Christian-Courtship-Oversexed-World-Catholics/dp/1931709564/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244083838&sr=8-1
Courtship is basically the Christian approach to dating. The book I just mentioned defines courtship as “the pursuing of an intimate friendship to see if marriage would be desirable.” Many people hear the word “courtship” and immediately think of it as something old-fashioned and out of touch with reality. Nothing could be farther from the truth. “Dating” as our society understands it is simply a casual activity that people do simply for the thrill or pleasure of it without actually having any intention of commitment.
I think the following few paragraphs from the Pure Love Club website put it quite well (the full text can be found here chastity.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=42 ):
"In Psalm 78:8 we read of a generation that had no firm purpose and their hearts were not fixed steadfastly on God. If that is a good description of our relationships, they need some reworking. We should be intent on finding out if it is the Lord’s will for us to be with a certain person, and until we are ready to move in the direction of marriage, what is the point of committing to another?
Some may retort that this is all too serious, but should we be giving our hearts away to people who are in no position to make a real commitment? I am not proposing that you build an impenetrable wall around your heart, but that you guard it with prudence. We can wrestle over the terms “courtship” and “dating,” but the essential thing is to glorify God and act wisely. The time spent prior to marriage must be a school of love where two young people learn the art of forgetting self for the good of the other.
While there is nothing wrong with becoming friends and spending time with members of the opposite sex, committed relationships should be entered into for the sake of discerning marriage. When we do enter into relationships, we should allow wisdom to chaperone romance. This involves having the humility to become accountable to others. Find a member of the same sex that you look up to, and go to him or her for guidance in your relationships. As Proverbs says, “Without counsel plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed” (Prov. 15:22)."
-Justin
Courtship is basically the Christian approach to dating. The book I just mentioned defines courtship as “the pursuing of an intimate friendship to see if marriage would be desirable.” Many people hear the word “courtship” and immediately think of it as something old-fashioned and out of touch with reality. Nothing could be farther from the truth. “Dating” as our society understands it is simply a casual activity that people do simply for the thrill or pleasure of it without actually having any intention of commitment.
I think the following few paragraphs from the Pure Love Club website put it quite well (the full text can be found here chastity.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=42 ):
"In Psalm 78:8 we read of a generation that had no firm purpose and their hearts were not fixed steadfastly on God. If that is a good description of our relationships, they need some reworking. We should be intent on finding out if it is the Lord’s will for us to be with a certain person, and until we are ready to move in the direction of marriage, what is the point of committing to another?
Some may retort that this is all too serious, but should we be giving our hearts away to people who are in no position to make a real commitment? I am not proposing that you build an impenetrable wall around your heart, but that you guard it with prudence. We can wrestle over the terms “courtship” and “dating,” but the essential thing is to glorify God and act wisely. The time spent prior to marriage must be a school of love where two young people learn the art of forgetting self for the good of the other.
While there is nothing wrong with becoming friends and spending time with members of the opposite sex, committed relationships should be entered into for the sake of discerning marriage. When we do enter into relationships, we should allow wisdom to chaperone romance. This involves having the humility to become accountable to others. Find a member of the same sex that you look up to, and go to him or her for guidance in your relationships. As Proverbs says, “Without counsel plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed” (Prov. 15:22)."
-Justin
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chevalier
Guest
Courtship technically includes dating. Courtship is a form of intimate relationship looking at something more, which would be marriage, so dating for the fun of it, while not even bothering oneself with thoughts of (later) marriage, does not fall under the definition. Whatsoever leads to marriage generally does.
It’s also an old word and that provides a reactionary flavour to the concept. The new is bad, so we’ll fall back on the old. Not necessarily a bad thing to do, but the world moves onward and we could think of a way to make the current reality work well instead of going back to the 1890-ies, which had their own problems.
It’s also an old word and that provides a reactionary flavour to the concept. The new is bad, so we’ll fall back on the old. Not necessarily a bad thing to do, but the world moves onward and we could think of a way to make the current reality work well instead of going back to the 1890-ies, which had their own problems.
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