Covid-19 and gatherings

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stormer83

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Hi everyone,

I have a conundrum regarding an upcoming family gathering. My brother-in-law has recently been ordained (and we are extremely happy, proud and feel blessed to have a priest in the family).

Unfortunately, he was ordained abroad and due to the pandemic we made the very hard decision to not attend. My in-laws did travel there and they are returning back this week.

My brother-in-law will be coming back with them and he will celebrate mass the day after they arrive (without any quarantine time) along with a reception to follow.

Obviously we would really like to be there with our young children to celebrate this momentous occasion. However, to me it seems very risky to attend a gathering like that due to the pandemic, especially since many of the attendees are traveling during this super busy week.

From what I know there will be just shy of 50 attendees many of which will be travelling from other states to attend as well as other family friends. Masks will be required, but it is an indoor venue and with our young children (one of which is still an infant and of course can’t wear a mask) it would be very difficult to maintain them in one place, and social distance, etc.

Right now I think that not attending is the right thing to do. However, all of my wife’s siblings are going with their children so it makes me feel like we are the ones being unreasonable. Are we being unreasonable?
 
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I really don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. If you feel uncomfortable, don’t go. I don’t think I would go, in your position.

What are the laws/restrictions in your area? Are they allowing so many people to gather like that? Without quarantine time?
 
I would not bring my young children to an event like that. If you have an n95 or higher mask, your wife might consider attending on my own while your children stay home with you.
 
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What’s the hurry? Wait until the cases in your area come down, and it could save someone’s life!
 
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Lou2U said:
What are the laws/restrictions in your area? Are they allowing so many people to gather like that? Without quarantine time?
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Yes unfortunately even though Covid is very bad in our area, restrictions are rather lax. So only gatherings of over 50 people are restricted (which would apply in this case)
 
So I would not go, but that’s because we have family with zero immune system. If we didn’t, I’d probably go. Can your wife wear the baby? Close to her and covered with a cloth carrier (and even add a blanket!) Baby will essentially be masked. I’m less worried about my kids personally - kids don’t seem to be getting real sick or acting as carriers. Big kids and adults understand masks and washing hands.
 
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Yes we’ve thought about that possibility too. My In-laws will be very saddened to not have the children there. But we are considering this.
 
Beryllos said:
What’s the hurry? Wait until the cases in your area come down, and it could save someone’s life!
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I totally agree, I wish they would have waited. My brother-in-law is also part of a religious order so he can only be here a few days and then must return abroad.

We’re also thinking that if we don’t go, we could invite him to our place for a small outdoor gathering.
 
That’s an interesting idea. The baby will probably be fine if she’s asleep. I don’t know if she’ll stay there once she’s not since she’s already walking. The other kids are 4 and 6. The 6 year old would understand well, the 4 year old would be a bit of a struggle.

I know kids tend to not get very sick with this, but still worried about them mingling, especially with the adults, and also even if they don’t get sick themselves passing it into others.
 
Can you put the baby & the 4 year old in a double stroller (yes even during Mass) and give them an iPad to watch a movie while the older child and adults mingle with social distancing afterwards? Edited to add: you can throw a blanket over the double stroller and make it like a tent. Add glow sticks. Instant fun for the preschooler! 🙂
 
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stormer83 said:
We’re also thinking that if we don’t go, we could invite him to our place for a small outdoor gathering.
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I think that sounds like a better idea, as long as you still keep social distanced and wearing masks. I’m sure everyone would understand you going for something smaller.
 
stormer83 said:
Are we being unreasonable?
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Not at all.

He will be a priest his entire life. You can go to a mass when it is safe to do so.

It is this man and the family who are unreasonable. There need not be a big celebration mass right now.
 
Personally, I would not chance it. My state just had a 10 year old die from covid.
 
It is this man and the family who are unreasonable.
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Thankfully, this “unreasonable” family has arranged the Mass for approximately 45 people in a sanctuary that holds almost a 1,000 people and then rented a community center hall for the reception specifically to allow for social distancing and other preventative measures. Also, this “man” will be tested for Covid-19 the day before the celebration with results to be known.

So are these people really quite so unreasonable? Or perhaps they are people who prudently take very small risks so as to continue living a fulfilling life?

All this being said, I do understand that many people in this world are overwhelmed by a fear of even a chance of suffering - and that should be respected in some way.
 
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brianmaes said:
Also, this “man” will be tested for Covid-19 the day before the celebration with results to be known.
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Just be aware–the antigen tests, i.e. the “rapid” tests, show false negatives more than 50% of the time. Based on personal experience, the kind of test that gives results within a day is probably wrong.
 
Fortunately, this will be the accurate PCR test, not an antigen test
 
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Ah, now I see your new topic, which begins to explain your tone in this thread.
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Covid-19 - Celebrate Mass with newly ordained priest? Family Life
Our son was just ordained a priest in a rural diocese in Ecuador and is traveling back to the outer suburbs of Atlanta to celebrate a “first Mass” in his home parish. Due to the Covid-19 situation, the Mass will be private - so only with limited family and friends, adding up to about 45 people. Due to the peculiarities of life in a religious order abroad, he only comes home once very 7 years or so. Thankfully, neither this rural area of Ecuador nor Georgia (especially our county) are hotspots…
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So the priest is your son, and the OP, @stormer83, is married to your daughter? Thank you then for explaining the logistics, but have patience with the rest of us who didn’t know those details. We respond to what we read, however incomplete it may be.
 
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brianmaes said:
Thankfully, this “unreasonable” family has arranged the Mass for approximately 45 people in a sanctuary that holds almost a 1,000 people and then rented a community center hall for the reception specifically to allow for social distancing and other preventative measures. Also, this “man” will be tested for Covid-19 the day before the celebration with results to be known.
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And it is still imprudent, and family members should not be pressured to attend.

That’s my opinion, which was solicited publicly on the internet. You don’t have to like it or agree with it.
 
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