Covid-19 and terrible timing

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mugglestruggle

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Here’s a timeline of my tricky situation.
2015: met my agnostic fiancé when I did not consider myself catholic anymore, so, not living by christian standards.
2016: moved in together.
2019: started looking to buy a house.
June 2019: started to read the Bible and felt a calling to follow Christ.
July 2019: decided to finally talk to my fiancé about how I felt guilty having pre-marital sex , and he was surprisingly very understanding about it.
December 2019: he proposed !!
By the end of the month, we found a house and were in the process of buying it.
January 2020: moved into the house and wanted to start planning the wedding. But many problems came and we had to postpone.
March 2020: as we were finally ready and serious about the wedding, BOOM ! Coronavirus.

So, during the quarantine I decided I was going back to catholicism, and I’m very serious about it. But we can’t get married for God knows how long, we’re living together and more ready than ever to start making children .
I’m lucky enough he has been bearing with me through the no sex thing for so long, and now he’s even supporting me in my conversion.
But I know it’s also really hard for him because he can’t wait to have children. We’re just really at this point right now.

I dont even need a big wedding, I just wanna BE MARRIED so we can have the life we always wanted.
I would very much appreciate prayers and advice . ❤️
 
You could check into online weddings or are you planning a church wedding? Have you called your parish and asked for a call back from the priest to discuss what’s the best way forward? If not, do so!
 
Agreed, first step is to contact your church to see what they require.
 
Sounds like great timing, maybe all this brought on your true feelings and ability to talk to your fiance. Please do as others have said and talk to your priest. There is much to prepare for (and time as well) for the wedding and here is the opportunity. Good luck!
 
You don’t have to have a big wedding, just the priest or deacon and two witnesses.

Contact your local pastor about premarital preparation. It is typically about six months. Many dioceses are making online marital prep options available.
 
That’s exactly my problem: 6 months sounds awfully long haha. But I’ll call and make sure 😉
 
Is it really possible to skip preparation and everything in some areas? 😳
 
No. If you want to do this right, slow down and start with a call to your priest. You are at least a baptized Catholic if I understand your OP correctly, most likely you are fully initiated.
  1. Call the parish priest. Tell him everything.
  2. Stop thinking about “making babies” for now. You’ll have time after.
  3. Do what the priest tells you to do.
I know you want to have it all but you should also want a valid marriage. If you just go off & get married, you will be in an invalid marriage. That may be problematic down the road. Please be patient and do this right from the start.

You don’t have to have a “wedding” either. It can be done with the two of you and two witnesses with a priest or deacon.
 
mugglestruggle said:
Is it really possible to skip preparation and everything in some areas? 😳
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I doubt it, not if you want a Catholic sacramental wedding, but talk to your priest.
Meanwhile, have you discussed with your fiance some important issues, like bringing up your children in the church, being open to life and avoiding contraception, the uses of NFP for times you want to wait on children, and so on?
It’s when we want to move fast that the church encourages us to slow down and think about what we’re doing, so we don’t get into something with lifelong consequences that we could be better prepared for. That’s why the preparation stage.
 
Preparation and everything?

If you talking about both of you being lawfully married in the Catholic church, then yes you have to wait.

Is that what you are thinking?
 
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Retsel said:
It can’t be dispensed if it was never recognized in the first place.
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Dispensation comes first.

If the couple obtains a dispensation from form, then contracts marriage it is valid.

If the couple attempts to contract marriage without a dispensation, it is an invalid attempt at marriage.

So I’m not sure what you are saying.
 
1ke said:
So I’m not sure what you are saying.
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A hypothetical example:

Without the “calling” or care for what Catholic Church or anybody says, Muggle civilly marries the “Understanding…Agnostic Friend/Fiance”.

In time, the husband receives a “calling”, decides to become Catholic and starts taking classes.

Muggle, upset with this decision, civilly divorces him.
Not being one to wait around she civilly marries again.

Soon after, she receives her “calling” and decides to become a Catholic.

She can’t, because in the eyes of the Catholic Church, she may still be married to the first husband.

Only the annulment tribunal can decide if she is in a valid marriage or still married to the first husband.
My point is, yes she can civilly marry anyway she wants, it’s only when she decides to come back to the Church do her actions/decisions get reviewed.
 
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