Coworker Question

[pamnbam]

I am a convert to the faith, along with my husband, who is not currently practicing. We have a son who we’re raising Catholic.

I recently started a new job and a coworker who I’ve become friends with is a guest Pastor at a Baptist church. He recently invited me (and my family) to come hear him preach. I considered going, but don’t want to confuse my son. I’m a very strong Catholic, so I’m not afraid of going out of politeness/friendship.

I wonder about my husband, though. Since he’s non-practicing, could attending a Baptist service sabotage his return to the true Church? I thought about going alone, but is that weird (since I’m a married woman and this coworker is male)?

Am I just overthinking this? Help, please!

 

[His_helpmeet]

Generally we as Catholics are not to attend the services of other churches, unless it is for a specific purpose such as attending a wedding.

It would not be rude to simply state that attending his church is not possible for you. You simply don’t have to elaborate as to why.

 

[InigoMontoya]

We’re very close friends with some protestant pastors, who regularly invite us to the special occasions that happen at their church. Which my family attends with our Priests blessing. As how wonderful is it to celebrate God with others - even if we may have some theological differences. Of course, we can’t partake in communion if they have it.

It’s a great way to friendly evangelize as well, although one really must stress the friendly and kind manner of doing such.

If your husband has drifted to non-practicing and depending on your son’s age, you may want to speak with your Priest about the matter. Perhaps it’s best that way regardless.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Most baptist ministers I know have no problem getting someone to hear their preaching, in Church or out. I’m sure you have heard him preach before.

I am not going to answer yes or no, but I would like to point out that maybe you are busy on Sunday. Making Sunday a true day of worship instead of just an hour for Mass would be beneficial to the whole family. Go to Mass, Eat a family breakfast, go to adoration, volunteer at a Parish event or Class. Help the youth ministry, read the Bible as a family. Etc.
Sunday should not be about our hour long obligation. But rather a true deepening and worshiping of God. Which would probably preclude any baptist service.

“I wish we could but Sunday is pretty busy for us, what with Mass and worship and adoration and family time and all. Thank you for the invitation. Perhaps you could email me a copy of your sermon?”

 

[Miss_Felicity]

We’re very close friends with some protestant pastors, who regularly invite us to the special occasions that happen at their church. Which my family attends with our Priests blessing. As how wonderful is it to celebrate God with others - even if we may have some theological differences. Of course, we can’t partake in communion if they have it.

It’s a great way to friendly evangelize as well, although one really must stress the friendly and kind manner of doing such.

If your husband has drifted to non-practicing and depending on your son’s age, you may want to speak with your Priest about the matter. Perhaps it’s best that way regardless.

I think this is pretty solid advice. I occasionally attend Protestant service with my parents or friends and likewise they will occasionally attend Mass with me. As long as I fulfill my obligation for that weekend I have never had a spiritual advisor tell me it was a bad idea. Check with your Priest to be sure.

 

[pamnbam]

“I wish we could but Sunday is pretty busy for us, what with Mass and worship and adoration and family time and all. Thank you for the invitation. Perhaps you could email me a copy of your sermon?”

This is excellent advice! My parish only has Mass on Sundays, though. Still, we do a lot as a family…

 

[pamnbam]

Generally we as Catholics are not to attend the services of other churches, unless it is for a specific purpose such as attending a wedding.

It would not be rude to simply state that attending his church is not possible for you. You simply don’t have to elaborate as to why.

Hmm, I knew that was it not advised to regularly attend non-Catholic services, but to go to just one? I did tell him I would think about going because I didn’t know what else to say. I’m not enthused about going, but I know I need to work on humility and thought I could go just once out of kindness even though I really have no need to. I would have no intention of going back. Just wondering about being ecumenical and all…

 

[pamnbam]

It’s a great way to friendly evangelize as well, although one really must stress the friendly and kind manner of doing such.

If your husband has drifted to non-practicing and depending on your son’s age, you may want to speak with your Priest about the matter. Perhaps it’s best that way regardless.

Yes, evangelizing was the idea, but I guess I can just do that at work, lol!. We actually were talking a bit about faith today.

I definitely wouldn’t bring my son. My husband rarely goes to Mass so I don’t think I’d invite him. Just didn’t want it to seem strange if I went on my own, though. I don’t think I’ll go at all, then. There’s just no easy way to do it. Plus, I’d rather spend Sunday with my family like HoosierDaddy said…

 

[Dorothy]

Yes, evangelizing was the idea, but I guess I can just do that at work, lol!. We actually were talking a bit about faith today.

I definitely wouldn’t bring my son. My husband rarely goes to Mass so I don’t think I’d invite him. Just didn’t want it to seem strange if I went on my own, though. I don’t think I’ll go at all, then. There’s just no easy way to do it. Plus, I’d rather spend Sunday with my family like HoosierDaddy said…

Good decision! You are civil with your co-worker, so you needn’t feel you need to explain or be “ecumenical”.

 

[robwar]

I am a convert to the faith, along with my husband, who is not currently practicing. We have a son who we’re raising Catholic.

I recently started a new job and a coworker who I’ve become friends with is a guest Pastor at a Baptist church. He recently invited me (and my family) to come hear him preach. I considered going, but don’t want to confuse my son. I’m a very strong Catholic, so I’m not afraid of going out of politeness/friendship.

I wonder about my husband, though. Since he’s non-practicing, could attending a Baptist service sabotage his return to the true Church? I thought about going alone, but is that weird (since I’m a married woman and this coworker is male)?

Am I just overthinking this? Help, please!

I would graciously decline. Long time ago when first married, my husband and I were invited to a local Baptist church. We went and then the pastor nearly singled us out in stating that “if you are visiting today God may be calling you to join” We never went back and I resented the set up. It’s one thing to be friends and do friendly things with other Christians but it is unwise to attend other services.

 

[Miss_Felicity]

I would graciously decline. Long time ago when first married, my husband and I were invited to a local Baptist church. We went and then the pastor nearly singled us out in stating that “if you are visiting today God may be calling you to join” We never went back and I resented the set up. It’s one thing to be friends and do friendly things with other Christians but it is unwise to attend other services.

I’m sorry you felt put on the spot. My Parish also has visitors stand at one of our Masses, and Father says something along the lines of how we love to have visitors and would love having new members all the more. It is truly not meant to offend or make anyone uncomfortable. Now that the OP has responded, and it seems she doesn’t want to go then of course she should politely decline and spend her Sunday at Mass and with her family but there is no rule that we cannot attend other services and I wouldn’t generally call it “unwise”

 

[felsguy]

You might consider his motive in inviting you. If you think that he views it as an opportunity to start “converting” you then obviously you would shy away. But if it’s just out of friendship it probably depends on just how close a friend he is. Some years ago my wife and I became good friends with a lady who taught at the same school as my wife and 'her husband. We often got together socially. They knew we were very involved in our Catholic parish and we knew the husband was studying to become a Lutheran minister. We often got together socially. After he was ordained we were invited to hear him preach his first sermon. We went, said complimentary things afterwards, continued as friends and remained lifelong Catholics and they remained lifelong Lutherans.

In other words, I think someone would have to be extremely impressionabe and/or the preacher would have to be quite the spellbinder (or a hypnotist) for one sermon to do harm to their faith.

edit: My wife reminded me that visitors were invited to stand and be welcomed that day. We stood as did a few other folks scattered in the congregation. From the pulpit our friend then pointed each of us out saying something like “there’s someone there, a couple here, a couple over there.” Afterward he explained that the service was broadcast live each week and the minister would always say those things to fill in otherwise dead air time.

 

[acadiANNA]

This Guest Pastor has a duty to invite persons to his church. This is how they evangelize. I usually say thank you, you are also welcome to attend my church on _____Street. We’d love to have you. A Priest told me once not to let them coerce the Spirit. Sometimes they do draw you in and you end up leaving the true Church. Praying for your peace of mind in this situation. Much success on your new job.

 

[pamnbam]

Yes, I understand. I used to be a Baptist, and there is absolutely NO WAY I would leave my Catholic faith. Being Protestant was like a bee just circling a flower, trying to get inside, but having become Catholic, I feel that I finally made it to the center, the nectar of the flower.

Oh, I do remember standing as a visitor. I don’t like being singled out AT ALL! But I understand that they have to target new members.

My coworker mentioned he doesn’t think denomination is important, which begs the question of why he is preaching/professing as a Baptist. But that’s another discussion for another day, I guess…

 

[maryjk]

Hmm, I knew that was it not advised to regularly attend non-Catholic services, but to go to just one? I did tell him I would think about going because I didn’t know what else to say. I’m not enthused about going, but I know I need to work on humility and thought I could go just once out of kindness even though I really have no need to. I would have no intention of going back. Just wondering about being ecumenical and all…

I wouldn’t go.

I know I wouldn’t because I have done it.

We had just moved. My husband’s boss invited us to a “concert and dinner,” at his church. I didn’t want to go, but my husband didn’t want to make waves.

But even I didn’t realize how bad it would be.

We left during the “altar call.”

My young son was crying. Why? Because the pastor made it plain that unless you walked up to the front of the church and confessed that “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior” you were going to Hell.

My son kept saying that he had been to Confession and he didn’t understand why the man was yelling.

Just let me warn you. The service might not be what you are expecting.

 

[pamnbam]

I wouldn’t go.

I know I wouldn’t because I have done it.

We had just moved. My husband’s boss invited us to a “concert and dinner,” at his church. I didn’t want to go, but my husband didn’t want to make waves.

But even I didn’t realize how bad it would be.

We left during the “altar call.”

My young son was crying. Why? Because the pastor made it plain that unless you walked up to the front of the church and confessed that “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior” you were going to Hell.

My son kept saying that he had been to Confession and he didn’t understand why the man was yelling.

Just let me warn you. The service might not be what you are expecting.

Wow…thank you for sharing your experience. I definitely wouldn’t want to expose my son to something like that. I haven’t been to a Protestant service in over 10 years; maybe I’ve forgotten how bad it can be to a Catholic (young or old) who may not understand.

More ammo for the side of sitting it out. It doesn’t seem to be worth the risk…

 

[robwar]

I’m sorry you felt put on the spot. My Parish also has visitors stand at one of our Masses, and Father says something along the lines of how we love to have visitors and would love having new members all the more. It is truly not meant to offend or make anyone uncomfortable. Now that the OP has responded, and it seems she doesn’t want to go then of course she should politely decline and spend her Sunday at Mass and with her family but there is no rule that we cannot attend other services and I wouldn’t generally call it “unwise”

If you read any of the questions and answers from staff apologists on Catholic Answers, they will say and tell you that Catholics should not be attending and visiting other Churches. That may seem rather harsh but one really has no business in other churches and attending their services. Having an ecumenical meeting or get together is one thing but being invited by a Baptist assistant Pastor even for their Sunday evening service is a little suspicious at best.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Hmm, I knew that was it not advised to regularly attend non-Catholic services, but to go to just one? I did tell him I would think about going because I didn’t know what else to say. I’m not enthused about going, but I know I need to work on humility and thought I could go just once out of kindness even though I really have no need to. I would have no intention of going back. Just wondering about being ecumenical and all…

You have no obligation to go. Certainly not for any goal of ecumenism. As another poster said, simply tell your coworker that you are not available on Sundays.

 

[Miss_Felicity]

If you read any of the questions and answers from staff apologists on Catholic Answers, they will say and tell you that Catholics should not be attending and visiting other Churches. That may seem rather harsh but one really has no business in other churches and attending their services. Having an ecumenical meeting or get together is one thing but being invited by a Baptist assistant Pastor even for their Sunday evening service is a little suspicious at best.

I’m considering starting a spin off thread because my intention isn’t to hijack. I have seen several people on CAF say that Catholics shouldn’t attend services at other churches. This is difficult for me because I attended 18 months of RCIA (being the only Catholic in my immediate family and only one of a handful Catholics I know) I also attended services at other churches but would make sure to fulfill my obligation. I didn’t keep this a secret and even openly discussed it and nobody in the RCIA team including our Franciscan Spiritual advisor said anything about not doing this. I’m in a difficult situation because I do enjoy non Catholic services sometimes, I never take communion and it never replaces Mass. My RCIA team even knows its a family tradition for my mom to accompany me to Easter Vigil then we go to her church for Easter Sunday service. I wish somebody would have told me this was a big deal at some point before I converted.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I’m considering starting a spin off thread because my intention isn’t to hijack. I have seen several people on CAF say that Catholics shouldn’t attend services at other churches. This is difficult for me because I attended 18 months of RCIA (being the only Catholic in my immediate family and only one of a handful Catholics I know) I also attended services at other churches but would make sure to fulfill my obligation. I didn’t keep this a secret and even openly discussed it and nobody in the RCIA team including our Franciscan Spiritual advisor said anything about not doing this. I’m in a difficult situation because I do enjoy non Catholic services sometimes, I never take communion and it never replaces Mass. My RCIA team even knows its a family tradition for my mom to accompany me to Easter Vigil then we go to her church for Easter Sunday service. I wish somebody would have told me this was a big deal at some point before I converted.

Miss Felicity, I think you are in a different situation. You attend services with your close, non-Catholic family members.You have also not been counselled against this by your own priest or RCIA director. The OP is being invited to her co-workers church mainly as a mode of conversion most likely. She has no obligation to attend, and considering her husband’s and son’s situation, it would be more prudent for her not to attend.